Random Thoughts

FRAMINGHAM - A Hudson man is being held without bail until a hearing today to determine if he is a danger to the public after he was arrested for his fifth drunken driving charge in Massachusetts. Thomas D. Newell, 39, was also convicted twice in Texas for driving a vehicle under the influence of liquor, police spokesman Lt. Paul Shastany said.At 11:15 p.m., several people from the Nobscot Cafe called and said a drunk customer was trying to leave. An officer arrived and several people pointed to a sports utility vehicle that had just pulled out of the parking lot and said the driver was intoxicated, Shastany said. Officer James Green drove behind the vehicle, which was traveling 50 mph in a 35 mph zone, and pulled it over. "The driver had blood on his forehead, nose and chin, and his breath smelled of alcohol," said Shastany. "He (Green) asked Newell what happened and he said, 'Nothing.' Green said, 'You're bleeding,' and he said, 'No, I'm not.' "

Now I’m not a DUI expert, but three things come to mind with this story. First if you’re going to drive drunk it’s better not to have blood gushing down your face.  Seems simple enough but you’d be amazed how many people don’t follow this simple rule.  Second if for some reason a bloody face just can’t be avoided, don’t deny that you’re bleeding when the cops pull you over.  Because that just makes it seem like you’re hiding something.  Third and maybe most importantly always clean up the blood before you get your mug shot taken.   Because bloody face mug shots put asses in the seats. I mean if you take away the blood I probably don't even blog about this story and it just fades away into bolivian.

Introducing Fasha, yet another Bruins Ice Girl and the pride of Clark University whatever that is. Also the leader in the clubhouse for the sexiest smokeshow name so far. At some point the Bruins need to fire whoever is responsible for marketing these girls. These girls should be household names in Boston.

Click Here for her entire gallery

LOS ANGELES -- Britney Spears' car was impounded after police found it abandoned on the street.

Police said Spears was driving Monday night when she had a flat tire on Sunset Boulevard sometime before 8 p.m.

"She left it unattended and it was blocking traffic, so it was towed," Officer Karen Smith, a police spokeswoman, said Tuesday of Spears' car.

Police said it was unlikely the 26-year-old pop star will be ticketed because the car was disabled when it was left in the street.

Talk about the El Presidente mush?  It’s the mush that keeps on mushing. Britney can't catch a break. After the Barstool czar wrote a blog last week about how much he loved her new song “It’s Britney Bitch”, not only is she about to lose custody of her kids, she was hauled away in an ambulance on Friday and now last night, her car was impounded.  Jesus, she'll be lucky if her tits don't fall off by the end of the week. And speaking of losing your tits, it’s been a rough few weeks for El Presidente -- he went 0 for Bowl Season on the blog, he liked OSU on Monday and now poor, poor Britney has to walk to court. It's not easy being a multi-millionaire pop star, and today, thanks to the El Presidente mush, it just got even tougher.

Nj.com - Congress plans to probe the use of celebrities as part of the marketing campaigns for prescription drugs, according to a report from Pharmalot.com.In particular, the focus is on Robert Jarvik, premiere pitchman for Pfizer's Lipitor. "We are concerned that consumers might be misled by Pfizer's television ads for Lipitor starring Dr. Jarvik," Dingell said in a statement. "In the ads, Dr. Jarvik appears to be giving medical advice, but apparently, he has never obtained a license to practice or prescribe medicine."

Generally I consider myself a pretty independent guy.   I’m not going to jump off a bridge because all my friends are doing it or anything like that.   But if Dr. Robert Jarvik told me to shoot myself in the brain because it cured the hiccups I’d totally do it.  Bottom-line is that I don’t give a flying fuck whether Dr. Jarvik has obtained a license to practice or prescribe medicine.  The guy’s dad died of a heart attack and as a result he devoted his life to studying the heart.  He invented the Jarvik Artificial Heart for God Sakes!  And not to mention the fact that he jogs like a motherfucker! That’s good enough for me and it should be good enough for everybody else.  Now excuse me while go get high on Lipitor.  Nobody fucks with Dr. Robert Jarvik and gets away with it.  At least not on my watch.

Edward (Buddy) LeRoux, former part owner of the Boston Red Sox and real estate baron, has died of natural causes. He was 77.LeRoux started as a trainer for the Red Sox from 1966-74. He served as the team's vice-president from 1978-79, then became an owner as part of a group that included Haywood Sullivan and Jean Yawkey, widow of longtime team owner Tom Yawkey.He was forced to sell his share of the team after a failed attempt to wrestle control from Sullivan and Yawkey.

The death of a guy who once owned part of the Red Sox... and owned them completely for one afternoon... wouldn't ordinarily be worthy of a conversation. But LeRoux, God rest his soul (Journalism 101: you can say anything you want about the recently deceased if you preface it with "God rest his soul...") personified the rampant buffoonery that was the Standard Operating Procedure of the Sox back in the day. Like Walter Brown with the Celts and Billy Sullivan with the Pats, Buddy bought a team by going ridiculously over his head in debt. While the Yankees were being run by a shipping magnate who'd do anything to win World Series, the Sox were owned by an ankle taping magnate who'd do anything to get a nice mention in the paper by Will McDonough or Ray Fitzgerald. And like John Harrington years later, LeRoux was the biggest beneficiary of the fact that Mrs. Yawkey's ovaries didn't produce fertile eggs, as he became the son she never had. You just know that many a long evening was spent in her company, drinking Rob Roys and listening to her call black people "darkies." And it should be engraved on Buddy's tombstone the day he chose to turn on Mrs. Y like a prison snitch and take over the team was "Tony Conigliaro Day" at Fenway. LeRoux's death, while sad, should serve as a reminder of how good we have it now. Stay in good health, John Henry.

As a reminder the Barstool Ski Bash is this Friday. Come join the Stool for a rare Friday Night extravaganza. This party is for all the wimps out there who say we never do anything on the weekend. There is no excuse to miss this one! There will be a Bud Light Reception at 8pm. You must be on our guest list to get in! RSVP to skiparty@barstoolsports.com. If you want to put multiple dudes on the list have them email us individually.

Barstool Ski Party;

• Ski fashion show
• Barstool Girls
• Bud Light Reception from 8-9pm
• Live Band The Zoo
• Tons of Free Ski Lift Giveaways to Killington
• Weekend Ski and Stay Giveaway
• PLUS LOTS LOTS MORE!!!

When: Friday January 11th

Where: The Harp

Time: 8pm

Now there are a lot of lessons to be learned from watching this video.  From the highs and lows of gambling, to the dangers of betting $7,000 on schools you can’t even find on a map.  (“Where’s Creighton… Dorchester?”)  I mean we all can relate.  But my favorite part of the video, besides the inevitable losing, was the code he used when he called his bookie...  “48”.   My buddy in high school did the same thing, but instead of “48” before each bet he’d have to say “The monkey pisses on the moon”.   Depending on how he was doing, his tone would always be different.  It was either “The monkey pisses on the moon!” or “The monkey pisses on the moon.”  Strange either way.  Also, I don’t know this guy or his friends, I just saw the link on the Providence College hoops “team page” on CBS.  Yes, I know the Friars suck. 

Boston.com - Brian and Alisa look lovely at their firm's holiday party. (Photo submitted by Alisa Hocking)

This picture was on Boston.com in their nightlife pictures section yesterday.   In all my years of living I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that type of facial hair before.   It’s disgusting, intriguing and beautiful all at once.  Anyway, my question is why would this girl ever submit this photo?  I can only think of two possible reasons;

#1 - Alisa doesn’t have the balls to tell her man that he needs to shave it.  So she’s hoping that a million people see it and make fun of him so he finally gets the message.

#2 - She was sexually assaulted by this guy and this is her revenge.

Either way the Stool is glad to help.  We’re all about the people here.

PS - This picture also caught my attention. Bonus points to Stoolies who can figure out the connection. Hint - Somebody was a former Guess That Ass Candidate and it wasnt' the dude.

Boston.com - Sean McArdle, of Auburn, sent in this picture from his 21st birthday party at Rumor. His friends are (left to right): Blerta Papi, of Worcester, and Ashleigh vanGerven, of Brookfield. "I hope to see this picture of us on Boston.com!" McArdle wrote. We make dreams come true.

Elisha Cuthbert (SEE NSFW VIDEO HERE)

vs.

Jessica Alba (SEE NSFW VIDEO HERE)

Is there a bigger BULLSHIT in film than bringing in a T-List star (T is for tits as opposed to Talent) and boasting of a nude scene only to learn that they are stunt boobs? Honestly, watching these two scenes from UB faves Cuthbert and Alba is a bigger rip off than the time UB rented Executive Decision with Kurt Russell and Steven Seagal, hoping to see a dream fight, but instead seeing Seagal get killed off in the first 10 minutes. REFUND, REFUND, REFUND! Knowing they are stunt tits also makes it nearly impossible to rub one out. No mater how hard you try, you can't get that nagging thought out of your head, "Those aren't her tits!" If they want UB to mix a pussy shot into a Jessica Biel flick to make you think you saw Biel's beaver, he will...UB's got spare time...But for now, for the sake of the customer and knuckle children everywhere, can we please just find chicks willing to take their top off already?

PS: What was with that old dude carrying a limp Cuthbert to his couch? That's about the only way UB would have a shot. Break her spine than force her to live in the house until her will is broken. Nice work, dude!

1 for Cuthbert, 10 for Alba

I don’t know why, but this video had me in tears.  I watched it like 18 times.   It’s so outrageous it almost seems like a commercial or that it was staged or something.   I just love the dude with the two little dogs.   He is so proud of himself.   I mean he is literally bursting with pride when he tells Brady that the second dog’s name is Fenway.   I think he thought Brady was going to freak out when he said that or at the very least invite him to lunch with him and Gisele.   Hilarious.  

PS - Notice how Brady is carrying a little dog too.   I’m telling you right now owning little dogs are hot for cool straight guys.   And no I’m not ashamed that my dog Stella is on facebook.  Fucking big deal.  Dogs need friends too.

Have people seen the NFL Power Rankings on Jaguars.com?  The Pats are obviously #1, but they have a little asterisk next to their record.  And when you scroll to the bottom it says “cheated in one game.”    And to think I was going to take the high road this week and not even bash the city of Jacksonville.   I figured that it is such a shitty city it would be like picking on a cripple.   I just didn’t see the point in piling on top of people who already have admitted defeat by the very nature of where they live.   Therefore, I was going to let the Jags slip into town take their beating and then fly away in the dead of night like they were never even here.  But good old Vic Ketchman couldn’t leave well enough alone could he?  Oh no!  He had to take a cheap shot at the Pats.   Listen dude you’re lucky Jacksonville even has a team in the NFL never mind trying to compete with the most powerful sports city in the World.    Vic Ketchman should be executed for even talking about something so far above his pay grade.   Frankly it’s embarrassing that I even had to write this blog and that Jacksonville hasn’t forfeited yet.

Much more Rihanna here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com