Random Thoughts

Early '90s iconic hotties Tia Carrera and Christy Turlington share a birthday today. Tia turns 40 and Christy is 38, and as far as guaging which one is hotter, I think the contest would come down to a shoot out.

Carrera:

Turlington:

It's a tough contest in large part because I'm pretty certain most of the Turlington pictures you find are from her George Michael's "I Want Your Sex" video era heyday, whereas Tia is still getting in front of the cameras north of 40. And let's face it, she doesn't look like she did in the first Wayne's World movie (But then outside of Alice Cooper and possibly Ed O'Neill, who does?). So this contest might be unfair, as evidenced by Christy's leopard bikini photo, but I'm still giving the edge to Tia. Because Tia is Hawaiian, and the Asian chick always gets the edge. In the same way that in a hockey fight, the edge will always go to a Canandian over a European.Click here for the rest of the pictures..."1" for Tia, "10" for Christy.

I’ve been fairly silent during bowl season and I apologize for that.    The good news is that I haven’t been great so far.  I’m probably around .500 although I did nail my mortal lock of the century yesterday with the over in Florida vs. Michigan.   The good news is that I think tonight’s game is even easier.    I fully expect Oklahoma to massacre West Virginia.   And keep in mind this is a Big East guy who is saying this.   I just don’t see any way that WV is ready for this game.  They are still shell shocked from losing to Pittsburgh.   Yeah this is a BCS game, but they had all but booked their tickets to the National Title game.   Playing in this consolation game has to be a huge let down.  Combine this with the fact that Rich Rodriguez flew the coop to Michigan and what you’re going to get is a very under prepared and poorly motivated WV team that sucks on defense to begin with.  Contrast this with a highly motivated Oklahoma team that wants to prove that they deserved to be in the title game instead two loss LSU and we have all the makings of a blowout.    It wouldn’t surprise me if the Sooners punter didn’t even make the trip.   That’s how dominant I expect them to be.

Mortal Lock - OU 

The first Barstool Party of the New Year and a rare Friday Night extravaganza is next Friday as we gear up for the Barstool Ski Bash. This party is for all the wimps out there who say we never do anything on the weekend. There is no excuse to miss this one! There will be an open Bud Light bar at 8pm. You must be on our guest list to get in! RSVP to skiparty@barstoolsports.com.

Barstool Ski Party;

• Ski fashion show
• Barstool Girls
• Bud Light Reception from 8-9pm
• Live Band The Zoo
• Tons of Free Ski Lift Giveaways to Killington
• Weekend Ski and Stay Giveaway
• PLUS LOTS LOTS MORE!!!

When: Friday January 11th

Where: The Harp

Time: 8pm

In case you missed it, this was obviously the bonehead highlight of the bowl season.  Now I’m not sure if I’m right about this but I’m under the impression that this was the “Get Back” coach for Texas who pulled this stunt.  But that’s really neither here nor there.  The point of this random thought is to warn all the Stoolies that never under any circumstances try to explain what a “Get Back” coach is to a chick.  Yeah, I know what you’re thinking.   It seems simple enough.  How hard is it to explain that his job is to yell at people to get back on the sidelines all game?   But chicks absolutely refuse to believe that anybody can get paid for doing just that.   I literally spent five hours this weekend trying to explain what a get back coach is to the First Lady and her friends and none of them could understand it or they just refused to believe it.  I had a better chance explaining what Joe Lunardi does for a living than a get back coach.   So today’s tip of the day is don’t try and explain the Get Back coach to chicks because they just don’t understand football.   Here endeth the lesson.

Introducing Christina from West Boylston. I almost didn't want to do a smokeshow today because I can't tell whether people are back from work yet and Christina is way to hot to waste on a non busy day. I also owe the Bruins Ice Girls an apology. Because at one point I said Whitney was the only hot girl they had. Well Christina is blazing and she too is a Bruins Ice Girl. The B's need a better photographer or something because the picture they have of her on their site does her no justice. It's almost like they don't want to sell tickets.

If you have any local smokeshows who deserve to be recognized for their hotness please send them our way at randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com. We're even printing up smokeshow tshirts to give to all those who have been recognized. Kind of like our version of the Green Jacket.

Click here for her entire gallery

Despite the overwhelming bravado of most Stoolies who read Barstool Sports I’m pretty sure that this song describes 99% of our readership.   Just everyday normal guys mother fucker.

Thanks to Rear Admiral for the tip

The Patriots are 16-0 and poised to put an exclamation point on arguably the greatest season in the history of modern civilization.  The Celtics are the best team in the NBA and could finally bring banner #17 to Boston.  The Red Sox have won 2 out of the last 4 World Series Championships.    And what about the Bruins you ask?  Well the poor Bruins can’t even get their name up on a Go Sox, Pats, Celtics and Revs sign at the DQ in Brockton.    Even the fucking Revolution made it up there!   It just doesn’t get any worse than that. Somewhere in a dark alley Ricky Middleton weeps.

- Thanks to Brian for the picture

Dailymail.com - Renee Williams became the largest person ever to have gastric bypass surgery earlier this year after ballooning to nearly seventy stone – but died 12 days later.  Renee Williams weight balloned from 40 to 70 stone after a car crash. Renee, from Austin, Texas, had battled with her weight since childhood and was classified as super-morbidly obese at the age of 12.  She was married by the age of 15 and had her first child, Mirina, at 16 weighing 30 stone.  Renee had grown to a massive 35 stone by the time she had her second daughter Mariah.  "When you don't have that thing in your head that tells you you're full, it's disgusting the amount of food you can eat," She said.

It’s a sad day when the world’s fattest chick dies.  Sad day indeed. But when they measure you in stones, I guess it’s just a matter of time.  And since this is such a tragedy I’m not even going to ask what type of dude would marry a 15 year old who has been classified as super morbidly obese since the age of 12.  Nor am I going to speculate on how Renee Williams was able to procreate in the first place.  Instead let’s just tip a 40 and say a prayer for the passing of this gentle giant. 

I refuse to believe this news telecast was on the CW.   They are way too professional for this.   Regardless, this is why I love America.   From now on all weathermen should be hot weather chicks who shake their ass while giving the weather.   In fact let’s take this one step further.  All new stations should start employing dance Fridays where all the female employees just start grinding all over each other for a segment while delivering the news.   It’s an absolute no brainer.   And no I don’t think this is sexist at all.  It’s just giving the people what they want.  

First of all, I don’t believe Doc Rivers for a second that he has no idea who Gino is.   I mean ESPN, Channel 5 and the Boston Herald have all done stories on Gino.  The entire Celtics team is in love with the guy and practicing his dance moves in the locker room.  But Doc has no idea who he is?  Do me a favor and tell me you don't like my firm, tell me you don't like my idea, tell me you don't like my fuckin neck tie, but don't tell me you’ve never seen Gino.  Anyway, I’ve gotten a bunch of emails telling me that the Stool needs to start selling a Gino shirt.   There are already a couple out there, but what do people think of this idea?  Should we make it Gino time at the Stool?    Because something tells me when the playoffs start in April it’s going to be Gino mania in Boston.

GARLAND, Texas - An essay that won a 6-year-old girl four tickets to a Hannah Montana concert began with the powerful line: "My daddy died this year in Iraq." While gripping, it wasn’t true — and now the girl may lose her tickets after her mom acknowledged to contest organizers it was all a lie. The girl won a makeover that included a blonde Hannah Montana wig, as well as the grand prize: airfare for four to Albany, N.Y., and four tickets to the sold-out Hannah Montana concert on Jan. 9. The mother had told company officials that the girl’s father died April 17 in a roadside bombing in Iraq, company spokeswoman Robyn Caulfield said. "We did the essay and that’s what we did to win," Priscilla Ceballos, the mother, said in an interview with Dallas TV station KDFW. "We did whatever we could do to win."    Contest organizers are reviewing the matter, and is considering taking away the girl’s tickets.

The contest organizers are considering taking away the girl’s tickets?   Umm, not only should her tickets be taken away but the mother should be shipped off to Iraq on the next plane out of the United States and used as a rag doll for all the soldiers stationed there.   Listen ordinarily I’d say there is nothing wrong with lying about a death in the family to further personal gain.   It’s kind of the American Way.  Like the mother said, you play to win the game.   But you got to do it Johnny Fairplay style.  You got to make up a lie that doesn’t really effect anybody but yourself.  Say that your dad got caught in quick sand and suffocated to death or that he got eaten by an alligator while playing golf.   But whatever you do you can’t say he died in Iraq.   It’s just a total slap in the face to all soldiers who are serving our country.    I mean maybe I could let it slide if this was for four tickets to Jimmy Buffett in Anguilla, but Hannah Montana in Albany?   Just totally unacceptable.    

Vs.

All this talk the last 24-72 hours about the Pats perfect season, I can't help but think of the only other professional athlete who can even be mentioned in the same breath. That's right, "Mr. Perfect". Now before you vote, let's take a look at the tale of the tape:

The Pats - won all 16 games they played in the regular season joining the '72 Dolphins as the only undefeated teams in NFL history, broke the all time record for points in a season, touchdown passes and point differential.

Mr. Perfect - WWE Heavyweight champ, WWE Intercontinental champ, perfect in every way. As evidenced by the above Youtube - once stopped a Mike Modano slap shot, bowled a perfect game and threw a 70 yard pass... to himself! Other accomplishments include chess, golf, horseshoes, darts and ping-pong perfection; swatting gum with his bare hand after spitting it out of his mouth, diving perfectly into the pool and calling a homerun in softball before the ball was pitched.

"Unbelievable? No, perfect..."

So it's time to vote on who's more perfect. Vote 1 for the Pats, Vote 10 for Mr. Perfect. Remember, 16-0 is pretty good, but nobody on the Patriots ever made a backwards free throw.

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