Random Thoughts
Battle of the Birthday MILFs: Carrera vs. Turlington
Early '90s iconic hotties Tia Carrera and Christy Turlington share a birthday today. Tia turns 40 and Christy is 38, and as far as guaging which one is hotter, I think the contest would come down to a shoot out.
Carrera:
Turlington:
It's a tough contest in large part because I'm pretty certain most of the Turlington pictures you find are from her George Michael's "I Want Your Sex" video era heyday, whereas Tia is still getting in front of the cameras north of 40. And let's face it, she doesn't look like she did in the first Wayne's World movie (But then outside of Alice Cooper and possibly Ed O'Neill, who does?). So this contest might be unfair, as evidenced by Christy's leopard bikini photo, but I'm still giving the edge to Tia. Because Tia is Hawaiian, and the Asian chick always gets the edge. In the same way that in a hockey fight, the edge will always go to a Canandian over a European.Click here for the rest of the pictures..."1" for Tia, "10" for Christy.
Mortal Lock; OU Over WV +7.5
I’ve been fairly silent during bowl season and I apologize for that. The good news is that I haven’t been great so far. I’m probably around .500 although I did nail my mortal lock of the century yesterday with the over in Florida vs. Michigan. The good news is that I think tonight’s game is even easier. I fully expect Oklahoma to massacre West Virginia. And keep in mind this is a Big East guy who is saying this. I just don’t see any way that WV is ready for this game. They are still shell shocked from losing to Pittsburgh. Yeah this is a BCS game, but they had all but booked their tickets to the National Title game. Playing in this consolation game has to be a huge let down. Combine this with the fact that Rich Rodriguez flew the coop to Michigan and what you’re going to get is a very under prepared and poorly motivated WV team that sucks on defense to begin with. Contrast this with a highly motivated Oklahoma team that wants to prove that they deserved to be in the title game instead two loss LSU and we have all the makings of a blowout. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Sooners punter didn’t even make the trip. That’s how dominant I expect them to be.
Mortal Lock - OU
Barstool Ski Bash Is Next Friday
The first Barstool Party of the New Year and a rare Friday Night extravaganza is next Friday as we gear up for the Barstool Ski Bash. This party is for all the wimps out there who say we never do anything on the weekend. There is no excuse to miss this one! There will be an open Bud Light bar at 8pm. You must be on our guest list to get in! RSVP to skiparty@barstoolsports.com.
Barstool Ski Party;
- Ski fashion show
- Barstool Girls
- Bud Light Reception from 8-9pm
- Live Band The Zoo
- Tons of Free Ski Lift Giveaways to Killington
- Weekend Ski and Stay Giveaway
- PLUS LOTS LOTS MORE!!!
When: Friday January 11th
Where: The Harp
Time: 8pm
Bonehead Highlight of the Bowl Season
In case you missed it, this was obviously the bonehead highlight of the bowl season. Now I’m not sure if I’m right about this but I’m under the impression that this was the “Get Back” coach for Texas who pulled this stunt. But that’s really neither here nor there. The point of this random thought is to warn all the Stoolies that never under any circumstances try to explain what a “Get Back” coach is to a chick. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. It seems simple enough. How hard is it to explain that his job is to yell at people to get back on the sidelines all game? But chicks absolutely refuse to believe that anybody can get paid for doing just that. I literally spent five hours this weekend trying to explain what a get back coach is to the First Lady and her friends and none of them could understand it or they just refused to believe it. I had a better chance explaining what Joe Lunardi does for a living than a get back coach. So today’s tip of the day is don’t try and explain the Get Back coach to chicks because they just don’t understand football. Here endeth the lesson.
Local Smoke Show of the Day (Christina)
Introducing Christina from West Boylston. I almost didn't want to do a smokeshow today because I can't tell whether people are back from work yet and Christina is way to hot to waste on a non busy day. I also owe the Bruins Ice Girls an apology. Because at one point I said Whitney was the only hot girl they had. Well Christina is blazing and she too is a Bruins Ice Girl. The B's need a better photographer or something because the picture they have of her on their site does her no justice. It's almost like they don't want to sell tickets.
If you have any local smokeshows who deserve to be recognized for their hotness please send them our way at randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com. We're even printing up smokeshow tshirts to give to all those who have been recognized. Kind of like our version of the Green Jacket.
Everyday Normal Guy
Despite the overwhelming bravado of most Stoolies who read Barstool Sports I’m pretty sure that this song describes 99% of our readership. Just everyday normal guys mother fucker.
Thanks to Rear Admiral for the tip
The Brockton Dairy Queen Has No Respect For The Bruins
The Patriots are 16-0 and poised to put an exclamation point on arguably the greatest season in the history of modern civilization. The Celtics are the best team in the NBA and could finally bring banner #17 to Boston. The Red Sox have won 2 out of the last 4 World Series Championships. And what about the Bruins you ask? Well the poor Bruins can’t even get their name up on a Go Sox, Pats, Celtics and Revs sign at the DQ in Brockton. Even the fucking Revolution made it up there! It just doesn’t get any worse than that. Somewhere in a dark alley Ricky Middleton weeps.
- Thanks to Brian for the picture
World's Fattest Woman Dies
Dailymail.com - Renee Williams became the largest person ever to have gastric bypass surgery earlier this year after ballooning to nearly seventy stone – but died 12 days later. Renee Williams weight balloned from 40 to 70 stone after a car crash. Renee, from Austin, Texas, had battled with her weight since childhood and was classified as super-morbidly obese at the age of 12. She was married by the age of 15 and had her first child, Mirina, at 16 weighing 30 stone. Renee had grown to a massive 35 stone by the time she had her second daughter Mariah. "When you don't have that thing in your head that tells you you're full, it's disgusting the amount of food you can eat," She said.
It’s a sad day when the world’s fattest chick dies. Sad day indeed. But when they measure you in stones, I guess it’s just a matter of time. And since this is such a tragedy I’m not even going to ask what type of dude would marry a 15 year old who has been classified as super morbidly obese since the age of 12. Nor am I going to speculate on how Renee Williams was able to procreate in the first place. Instead let’s just tip a 40 and say a prayer for the passing of this gentle giant.
What do you suppose they will entomb her in? I don't even think piano cases come that big, and you will need the worlds biggest pizza oven to creamate her.
jesus at 70 stones thats just shy of half a ton.... and she would have needed over 6000 calories a day even living a seditary lifestyle to maintain that weight... mind boggling
Hey Lugnuts wasnt that your prom date?
FYI 1 Stone = 14 Pounds.
So, like 980 pounds! Holy Crap! Speaking of which, do you think she had the special super jumbo toilet?
eek!
Pity the pallbearers.
Was she Austin's version of barstoolsports' Local Smokeshow?
Thin out the herd
Wasn't that her in the caption contest a few days ago? Thank God kidney stones aren't that big...
Wow! Interesting, seeing as how she died March 4th last year. What's the next post? "Anna Nicole OD's on pills", or how about "Tsunami rocks Indonesia". Way to go pres.
somewhere in the world 25 kids are saved from starvation...
Lugnutz...
Been away for the past few weeks, but a friend of mine who keeps me posted on all the true stories, sent me this:
by the way, does tru story automaticly come up when you post or do you have to type it every time, also why even bother with a gay tagline?
--gay as shit.
* Boston Hero
I loved your reply...you keep on telling us your true stories. It's charming as hell, not gay as shit. And THAT my friends, is a TRUE STORY.
Happy New Year!!
If you want current events, go to MSNBC or CNN. This is a funny story, no more, no less.
everything's bigger in Texas!
your pal,
.36 Stone Bag
I just ran across this quote from her after her gastric bypass...does anybody else wonder what the condition of the truck was afterwards?
"I feel like I've been run over by a truck," Renee Williams, 29, told the Houston Chronicle the day after her surgery.
The former 2nd fattest woman must be bullshit
She had kids? Who is the sorry, ugly, sad bastard who got her pregnant? I don't even what to think about the logistics of such an event. Disturbing.
kennyshell, thank you very much! I have taken the Soog vow to ignore Internet Cowboys, so I'm trying to only respond nicely.
I'm right there with you Bodhi...
Agreed, this is the worst day for the 2nd Fattest girl alive. She has no Designated Fat Friend anymore.
I think Lugnutz is just being shy.... he used to hook up with this big fat pig
Yes I am taking the Soog vow as well. Lugnutz tell me who the cowboys are so I can ignore them too. I hate internet cowboys.
Yes, I read that whole soog commentary and I am glad to see you are taking the high road. This is YOUR stool dammit. One of the founding fathers of great commentary...so pay no attention to the "behind the keyboard tough guys".
I also take the Soog pledge with Lug and Curt. So many great people on here have started to hide and not comment both here and on the message boards... Intelligent commentary helps us all through rough days at work.
Some playfull good natured ribbing is still ok under the Soog oath correct?
I agree...those guys are sooooooo 2007
I am more concentrated on what the Superman song is all about
I wonder why she waited so long to have the surgery if she's been morbidly obese pretty much her whole life....
One of the founding fathers of great commentary????
Hey Kenny...get a friggin life bro. i think you take the stool a bit too serious.
All this talk about anonymous posters in confusing to me. I don't understand what the difference is. So if I show up and introduce myself at a barstool party is Lugnutz going to beat me up just because I disagreed with him on the barstoolsports message board? Is he going to use violence to solve a difference of opinions? I am terribly perplexed by all this talk. Why can't someone just post their opinion in peace? Isn’t that the whole point of a message board?
You call Lugnuts the 'founding father' of this message board. He sounds more like the 'Gestapo' of the message board.
My question is if her insurance covered the surgery were they pissed she died 12 days later? Oh wait... screw insurance companies I hope they choked on the bill like she prolly did on her ham sandwich.
Gross-out question of the day: Who changed her cotton rockets?
LUGNUTZ!!!
Happy New Year!! Congrats to the PATS for the record setting year! Giants made it one helluva game!! I sent you an email to get your info...
Good Luck to the PATS in the postseason!! Giants may suprise some people after the way they played last saturday! Go Giants!
He sounds more like the 'Gestapo' of the message board.
— Curt in the car, Jan 02 2008, 1:47 pm
that may be the most ridiculous thing i have ever seen on here...
HAHA Lug you dirty Nazi
Posting an opinion and attacking others are two very different things. Everyone has an opinion; some just give theirs without facts, or rationality behind it. There are some really entertaining and knowledgeable people on here, and weeding through idiots who only post to get a rise out of others is getting boring.
Example
Hey Lugnuts wasnt that your prom date?
— brookehogan, Jan 02 2008, 1:13 pm
Just for the record I don't beat people up for many reasons, and a differing view will never be one of them. True story
Big slick good to have you back. It was a great game, and I was sweating the 2 points I gave you. I'll get back to you in email.
Lugnutz you were probably sweating after the long walk to the nacho stand.
Sincerely,
The internet cowboy
Hey Bigslick,
I still have Lugs info if you need it. Smart move Dennis!
LUGZ- Good to be back...Vegas was a blast, saw my buddies that I lived with when I lived out there...and I even managed to pull off a strip club trip with my old lady with me! What a treat that was...
and I see that we still have some douchebags on the site...oh well..figured with the new year people would vow to be civil...
First day back from vacation and since I have work piled up to my ass naturally I've spent half the day catching up on the stool. I'm one of the 'vets' on the stool but don't post all that often. It's just not that funny anymore. There are a lot of funny bastards on here but I can only read so many 'you're gay', 'I fucked your mother last night' blah, blah before it sounds like the junior high bus ride. Everyone should still take shots at each other, that's what we do, but at leats make it a little intelligent or humorous. Lug, Sully, Soog, Burgandy, even DJ, et al have some funny shit as do a lot of others and actually I don't see what's so bad about brook most of the time. Actaully Lug, the prom date thing was kinda funny, no gay jokes or mother jokes or those played out < > lame ass jokes. (quick, cue the > oldstoolie jokes) It's the idiots that just want to stir shit up and we actually spend time replying. This si a good site and a pretty entertaining forum. lets' keep it that way but let's not turn into saints either.
Good to be back (not at work, reading the stool).
Big slick I didn't see an email, so here you go. Nitislander had it here next day, but I can wait cause I own more them one tshirt! True story
Dennis Marhefka
59 Bisson Ave
Laconia, NH 03246
Send me an XXL I'm big in Laconia! Another True story
Well said Lug. Heil Lugnutz!
-a member of the Lugnutz Hitler Youth
Hey Bigslick,
I still have Lugs info if you need it. Smart move Dennis!
— brookehogan, Jan 02 2008, 2:01 pm
hahahaha...im sure that info would be reliable as a Spear's chick not getting knocked up!
Welcome back bigslick,
I have seen plenty of Giants games and Eli never looked better but they just didn't have enough. They have a tough game coming up in Tampa. I would take the Giants plus 3 and under 39.5.
"Big in Laconia"
lol
"I even managed to pull off a strip club trip with my old lady with me! What a treat that was..."
NICE!!
Oldstoolie it was funny, but he just takes it further and further, ...... then Gary threatens to beat everyone up.
True story
I think I'd like to hear more about the strip club trip with the old lady, bigslick...
Dennis,
I got your back if shit pops off.
One day I am going to walk into a Stoolie party, walk directly up to Lug and introduce myself. I am nervous to bring Gary though. Lug is his type. wink wink
Lug, I just meant that one particular comment was mildly amusing and he didn't go that far, that's all. I think I'm just a little baffled that not one stoolie on here has said 'I'd hit that' yet. Mind boggling.
I think I'd like to hear more about the strip club trip with the old lady, bigslick...
— kennyshell, Jan 02 2008, 2:11 pm
Well lets just say...my good friend is the VIP host at Sapphires, his name is ALAN CHANG, if anyone ever gets to that place..He hooked us up BIG TIME, free drinks and plenty o' lap dances with all the "select" chicks...and if anyone knows anything about strip clubs, u bring a good lookin' lady with you, you gets lots of attention and "xtras"
Brooke Gary is a hottie. He is everyone's type.
Welcome back bigslick,
I have seen plenty of Giants games and Eli never looked better but they just didn't have enough. They have a tough game coming up in Tampa. I would take the Giants plus 3 and under 39.5.
— The Crosby Show, Jan 02 2008, 2:08 pm
I am a "realist" when it comes to the Giants, I felt comfortable playing the Bucs b4 the Pats game...now I feel even better..playing in TB doesn't bother me one bit (7-1 on the road this year)...Im saying Giants, outright, 24-13
Oldstoolie - I did hit that... goes without saying as i have no standards... actually I am the father of her second child... I work 3 jobs to keep Mariah fed as its a huge shadow to grow up in.
Thanks for the clarification bigslick...
I'm a woman, so I wasn't sure how bring the old lady with you would pan out. Did she enjoy herself?
Westcyde! Good looking out!
Oldstoolie, a product of the new posters. A lot of the vets have gone, how else do you explain how I ended up being the old guard? (sounds better then Nazi, just not as funny) True story
bigslick, any shows?
I say the Giants blew their load Saturday night.
Thanks for the clarification bigslick...
I'm a woman, so I wasn't sure how bring the old lady with you would pan out. Did she enjoy herself?
— kennyshell, Jan 02 2008, 2:24 pm
She had a blast!! Wasn't sure at first, but a couple o' drinks and she was good to go! Have you gone?
bigslick, any shows?
I say the Giants blew their load Saturday night.
— rearadmiral, Jan 02 2008, 2:27 pm
I saw a ton of the shows when I lived out there....some really good ones, and some not so good... Ka was probably the best...LaFemme was good as well...wasn't to fond of "O"...
Thank you robot dons, I was getting nervous there for a moment.
Lug I know what you mean. I've been reading this forever and it does seem like a lot of 'old guard' are gone.
I really need to make a stool party, I'll be there for March madness, I need to meet people I've been reading for 3 (?) years. I just always felt I'd be the old perv in the corner at most of the other events, plus it's past my bedtime so an afternoon would be perfect.
Shows? In Vegas? Shows? For real?
Now I am really annoyed.
I heard that there is a rule that you have to return your penis if you are a straight man and you waste time at a show in vegas.
Ride on, cowboy. Ride on.
Shows? In Vegas? Shows? For real?
Now I am really annoyed.
I heard that there is a rule that you have to return your penis if you are a straight man and you waste time at a show in vegas.
— Curt in the car, Jan 02 2008, 2:34 pm
I would love to be a smart ass here...but I don't feel like stooping to your level...When you live in vegas for a couple of years you tend to do other things besides drink, gamble, drink and gamble...unless thats your entire goal in life..which it isn't for me
I have been told by BA5, and Soog that the march madness bash is can't miss. I think that will be my next trip down. I went to the holiday party, 20 minutes in I met a bunch of stoolies and had a blast. I was really suprised how many ladies I met there read the stool. Ub, and Jerry didn't let their mature age stop them from mingling with the ladies, so I think you will be ok.
Took in Beatles love (kept my dick in the hotel safe) last october at the Mirage. Great show if you are a fan of their music. True story
hmmmmm..march madness? barstool bash? boston? ROAD TRIP!!!!
They say its all about gambling! I'm all in!
Even though I do not gamble the March Madness party is fun....basically an opportunity to drink during the day....
I am sad that lug wont be making it down for the ski bash... looks like i will have to drive now.... damnit
My ability to show up for the March Maddness Bash is completely dependent on the date, as I am going to a Sox spring training weekend (which I honestly hope doesnt suck as much as some of you have told me it does)
Lug, I've seen Love twice. Fucking great. Just got my dad tix for X-mas (the only way to get his ass to go was to force it on him).
bigslick, I thought "O" was fucking amazing...and I was stone sober (I was waiting for drug test that never came). Gans was great the first time, so-so the second. That new Wayne Brady show was a riot (wasn't waiting for a drug test for that one though).
Thanks Lug, I have no problem with mingling, drinking shitloads of beer, watching sports, etc. It's just most of the pictures I see are of parties with the crowd just over my kid's age. Nothing wrong with that, I can have fun anywhere just didn't seem like something I'd go to and really, you can't discount that weeknight out late, 5 in the morning thing at my age. You just don't rebound that well after a while.
It's just most of the pictures I see are of parties with the crowd just over my kid's age.
— Oldstoolie, Jan 02 2008, 2:56 pm
I hear ya OS
You and I must be the senior citizens of the stool
or "Centurions" as Spock used to say
"O" was definitely sick - brought sand to the beach on that trip, but it was only once.
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Dancing Weather Girl on the CW
I refuse to believe this news telecast was on the CW. They are way too professional for this. Regardless, this is why I love America. From now on all weathermen should be hot weather chicks who shake their ass while giving the weather. In fact let’s take this one step further. All new stations should start employing dance Fridays where all the female employees just start grinding all over each other for a segment while delivering the news. It’s an absolute no brainer. And no I don’t think this is sexist at all. It’s just giving the people what they want.
"Gino Mania" Is Taking Over Boston
First of all, I don’t believe Doc Rivers for a second that he has no idea who Gino is. I mean ESPN, Channel 5 and the Boston Herald have all done stories on Gino. The entire Celtics team is in love with the guy and practicing his dance moves in the locker room. But Doc has no idea who he is? Do me a favor and tell me you don't like my firm, tell me you don't like my idea, tell me you don't like my fuckin neck tie, but don't tell me you’ve never seen Gino. Anyway, I’ve gotten a bunch of emails telling me that the Stool needs to start selling a Gino shirt. There are already a couple out there, but what do people think of this idea? Should we make it Gino time at the Stool? Because something tells me when the playoffs start in April it’s going to be Gino mania in Boston.
Little Girl Says Dad Died In Iraq to Win Hannah Montana Tickets
GARLAND, Texas - An essay that won a 6-year-old girl four tickets to a Hannah Montana concert began with the powerful line: "My daddy died this year in Iraq." While gripping, it wasn’t true — and now the girl may lose her tickets after her mom acknowledged to contest organizers it was all a lie. The girl won a makeover that included a blonde Hannah Montana wig, as well as the grand prize: airfare for four to Albany, N.Y., and four tickets to the sold-out Hannah Montana concert on Jan. 9. The mother had told company officials that the girl’s father died April 17 in a roadside bombing in Iraq, company spokeswoman Robyn Caulfield said. "We did the essay and that’s what we did to win," Priscilla Ceballos, the mother, said in an interview with Dallas TV station KDFW. "We did whatever we could do to win." Contest organizers are reviewing the matter, and is considering taking away the girl’s tickets.
The contest organizers are considering taking away the girl’s tickets? Umm, not only should her tickets be taken away but the mother should be shipped off to Iraq on the next plane out of the United States and used as a rag doll for all the soldiers stationed there. Listen ordinarily I’d say there is nothing wrong with lying about a death in the family to further personal gain. It’s kind of the American Way. Like the mother said, you play to win the game. But you got to do it Johnny Fairplay style. You got to make up a lie that doesn’t really effect anybody but yourself. Say that your dad got caught in quick sand and suffocated to death or that he got eaten by an alligator while playing golf. But whatever you do you can’t say he died in Iraq. It’s just a total slap in the face to all soldiers who are serving our country. I mean maybe I could let it slide if this was for four tickets to Jimmy Buffett in Anguilla, but Hannah Montana in Albany? Just totally unacceptable.
Question of the Day: Who's More Perfect, The Pats or Mr. Perfect?
Vs.
All this talk the last 24-72 hours about the Pats perfect season, I can't help but think of the only other professional athlete who can even be mentioned in the same breath. That's right, "Mr. Perfect". Now before you vote, let's take a look at the tale of the tape:
The Pats - won all 16 games they played in the regular season joining the '72 Dolphins as the only undefeated teams in NFL history, broke the all time record for points in a season, touchdown passes and point differential.
Mr. Perfect - WWE Heavyweight champ, WWE Intercontinental champ, perfect in every way. As evidenced by the above Youtube - once stopped a Mike Modano slap shot, bowled a perfect game and threw a 70 yard pass... to himself! Other accomplishments include chess, golf, horseshoes, darts and ping-pong perfection; swatting gum with his bare hand after spitting it out of his mouth, diving perfectly into the pool and calling a homerun in softball before the ball was pitched.
"Unbelievable? No, perfect..."
So it's time to vote on who's more perfect. Vote 1 for the Pats, Vote 10 for Mr. Perfect. Remember, 16-0 is pretty good, but nobody on the Patriots ever made a backwards free throw.
Wonder how she's gonna get through those pearly gates...
in unrelated news, http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/287719