Random Thoughts
Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day (Tiffany)
Tiffany from Fall River (I guess there is good shit in Fall River after all)
(To See More Tiffany Pics Click Here)
And a free Barstool hat for anyone that noticed the first girl was the same girl from yesterday.
Reader Email: Does This Guy Know His Ball Is Hanging Out?
Reader Email
I don't know the deal with posting pics like this, but I think it is amazing. I am friends with the blonde girl in the back and she showed me this on her myspace. This guy just jumped in the picture at the last minute and they do not know him. Look close....
JJ
JJ we appreciate the email, but I'm not sure you needed to put the "look close" disclaimer in there. This dude's ball basically slapped me in the face when I opened the picture. In any event, I haven't decided whether I think this guy knew his balls were flying all over the place or not. I mean how could you not know right?
Vote 1 for this guy was clueless to his balls being on the loose and 10 for it was a joke
Barstool Sports 2007 Advent Calendar
'Tis the season to be jolly...Even though it's a few days into December, UB is proud to unveil to 2007 Barstool Sports Advent Calendar!! Each day UB will release something new to Ho Ho Ho about as we count down to Christmas...
Sledding Mishap Showdown....Who Ya Got?
Vs.
Vs.
Vs.
In honor of the first real snowfall of the year we got a sledding mishap showdown. And as shocking as it may seem I’m going with the reporter in a blowout. While it may not have had the same sizzle as all the other videos, I just can’t get enough of it. I was in tears by the 8th time I watched it. He just dove right on his face. In terms of poor sledding technique it just doesn’t get any worse than that. Anyway here are my final standings;
1. Reporter Faceplant
2. Lady Smashes Into Car
3. Guy Smashes Into Groin
4. Guy Smashes Through Window
Knee Jerk Reactions to Week 13: Pats vs Baltimore
Things to consider while wondering if Ray Lewis put the names of the two people he killed on his eyeblack back in 2000:
*Sometimes you find yourself typing a sentence you never thought you would: "Eric Alexander saved the game."
*For all the key moments, the turning point of the game came with 12 minutes to go. On the second Baltimore possession of the 2nd half, the Pats defense had probably their worst exhibition of tackling since probably last year's loss to Miami. Baltimore was blowing them off the line and shredding them between the tackles. It was at that point that the Pats brought Rodney Harrison as the 8th man in the box and the Ravens possession from that point on went: INT, punt, punt, Alexander's heroics, end of game.
*On the drive prior to that, McGahee's TD was set up by, Le'Ron McClain who had a superb kick out block on Adalius Thomas while Jonathan Ogden digested Jarvis Green. The play created a broadcast television first: live, mutual, simultaneous orgasms by Tony Kornheiser and Ron Jaworski. And if you listened close, you could hear Shula saying he wished he'd taken his Cialis so he could be Pivot Man in the circle jerk.
*Is there anything more tired than Ray Lewis' pregame chest-thumping woofing routine? Maybe that went over big with America's simpleton population when the team was on a role back in 2000, but when you're 4-7, it just gets sort of played out and sad. But he's married to it so he can't get rid of it. The paying customers don't care how tired it is, the consider it part of the ticket price. It's Lewis' "Margaritaville."
*I'm not saying Lewis' stats get padded, but he got credit for an assist when the ref made the sack in the Bud Light commercial.
*You know it's a blustery night when the reporter chicks are covering $200 hairdo's with bigass wool hats and thick scarves. I guess America's sideline cupcakes want more Wendy Nix, less Windy Necks.
*Nice to see the end of another gutsy year by Steve "Die Hard" McNair, who had a season ending shoulder injury on the coin flip.
*The Ravens will no doubt spend the next 72 hours bitching because that's what they do. They bark and yap more than Fight Night at Bad Newz. But there wasn't one call down the stretch the refs didn't get right. Particularly the call for holding Ben Watson in the end zone, where Jamaine Winborne had him in a submission arm bar from the 7 yard line in. The question Baltimore needs to ask, because I'm asking it, is "What took you so long?" On Brady's INT, Corey Ivy held Wes Welker like it was a cold night on "Brokeback Mountain."
Boyfriend Insecurity 101
So this week the Stool is putting together a casting call for ESPN. Legit. No joke. We’re inviting the best of the best in terms of girls we’ve worked with to come in for it. Well this past Thursday Night after our Ms. Barstool Sports at McFadden’s I went with the Miller guys over to An Tain. And wouldn’t you know it, a couple Celtics dancers were in there. One of them appeared to be a perfect fit for what ESPN was looking for. So I went over to the girl and introduced myself and told her what we were doing to see if she had any interest. She said she totally did and gave me her cell phone number to call her the next day. So that’s exactly what I did. I called up and left her a message reintroducing myself and explaining the casting call. Well I just got hung up from one of the one of the weirder conversations you can ever have. I wish I had it on tape, but I’m pretty sure this is how it went without any exaggeration;
Phone Rings;
Me: Dave Portnoy (that’s how I answer my business line)
Unknown Dude: Who’s this?
Me: What?
Unknown Dude: Who’s this?
Me: Who's this?
Unknown Dude: Who's this?
Me: This is Dave. Who is this?
Unknown Dude: Were you calling Jen?
Me: Jen?
Unknown Dude: Yeah, you called Jen earlier right?
Me: Jen…..Oh, Celtics Jen?
Unknown Dude: So you admit you called her.
Me: Yeah, I called her this afternoon.
Unkown Dude: What’s your last name?
Me: Huh?
Unknown Dude: Who are you?
Me: Who are you?
Unknown Dude: Who are you?
Me: I’m Dave
Unknown Dude: Is this your personal line?
Me: It’s my cell phone why?
Unknown Dude: What’s your last name? Why you calling Jen?
Me: Who are you?
Unknown Dude: I’m Jen’s boyfriend. Why you calling Jen?
Me: Umm, for an ESPN casting call.
Unknown Dude: Oh. She doesn’t want to do it. (click)
Hmm, you think this guy is just a tad bit insecure that his girlfriend is a Celtics dancer? I may not know much about relationships but when a guy calls back a random dude on a cell phone trying to pick a fight, the relationship probably has some pretty serious trust issues. Maybe being a Celtics dancer isn’t the best career path for Jennafa. That’s just a guess. Regardless, I’d love to see these two on the Amazing Race.
PS – In her Celtics bio it says one of her career goals is acting. Strange then to turn down the opportunity of a life time don’t you think?
Its really spelled Jennafa! Thats precious.
There are some crazy insecure boyfriends out there. Watch your back, Pres. This motherfucker sounds batshit crazy.
She is smokin.
What's the casting call for?
Call her again. Fuck him. Call her again and tape the conversation when he calls you back. What a crazy shithead.
1)Her name is really spelled Jennafa (Classic phonetics in Eastie)
2)Her Proudest Moment: Being chosen for the Celtics Dance Team (that's her PROUDEST moment?)
3)Her Community Cause: Performing at Eastie Pride Day! (Most people say volunteering for Cancer awareness or Habitat, but not this Mother Theresa)
I finally saw the C's dancers in person this weekend. They were impressive. Kudos to the wardrobe person.
An Tain's on Thursday nights with dollar drafts is my favorite weeknight activity. Show up at 5:30, get loaded, go to the Bruins game, and go back to An Tain's. I highly recommend it.
Wow thats pretty bad, if I didn't feel bad enough for Jen already because she clearly has a douche boyfriend I would say post her number so every stoolie can call to drive this guy so insane his head explodes.
what a dumb fuck...let today be 'Make Fun of Jennafa's Jealous DumbFuck Boyfriend Day'...If you can't handle having a hot girlfriend go hang out with Mohammad at Wellesley!
plus she kind of looks like Betty Boop, no?
sounds like you got a big-time guido on your hands
Call him back and tape it. This has the potential to be better than the John Dennis voice mail.
That's probably the same response you'll be getting from ESPN.
elpres: "Hi this is barstool sports"
ESPN: "Who?" click.
Eastie is the Latin America of Boston. I feel bad for all the Itals still there, having to deal with MS-13 now. An off-duty jake got stabbed up the other night by a group of hispanics who told him that 'gringos weren't welcome' at the place he was picking up food. But police aren't sure if it was racially motivated. Typical.
Post her phone number... have a million guys call.
this chick is pretty hot. jennifa and santarpios are probably the only 2 redeeming qualities of east boston
is it just me or is she ugly? move on to the next wannabe "actress" on the celts dance team.
Yea the saddest part of this whole ordeal is he's probably beating the shit out of her for giving her number out.
Prez-
Before calling her again, you might want to rent "Death of a Centerfold", story of Dorothy Stratten. Lays out worst case senario for hot girl/jealous boyfriend.
What a complete Meathead Shit-stick this guy is ... maybe we can get Lucky the Celtics mascot to somehow incorporate him in one of his flying acrobatic dunks and "mistakenly" kick him square in the face ...
Be nice to her Sully, she had to suffer and only slept 65% of the day when she performed at Eastie Pride!
oh there you are, niteislander ...
the picture above wasn't too "aggressive"?
Prez-
You basically have a duty to call this girl again, for a few reasons. First, she's hot, appears to be what ESPN is looking for (which can only help your relationship with ESPN), and shouldn't have a shot at furthering her career ruined because of a dumbass boyfriend. Second, you're absolutely correct, this guy is a tool, and she'll probably drop him soon. Therefore, if she's hanging out with stoolies at parties, events, etc, one of us can try to nail a newly singled Celtics dancer. As our leader, you have to make this happen.
The only acting she'll be doing is in "night vision" mode on the hand held camera.
I know Celtics dancer Michelle's boyfriend. He's the man. And basket2486 puked in his car once. Screw this bitch and get Michelle to do the ESPN casting thing.
picture was fine blumpkin thanks for the concern.
this chick is pretty hot. jennifa and santarpios are probably the only 2 redeeming qualities of east boston
— Sloppy Seconds, Dec 04 2007, 11:26 am
Good call Sloppy Seconds ... Santarpios is ridiculously good!
For reason I picture this guy to look like "jersey shore guy"
Something similar happened to me. My rugrat had an away game for pop warner football and one of the moms didn't know how to get there and wanted to follow me. I gave her my cell phone number and a year or so later a got a nastygram. Dude said basically:
"I don't know who the fuck you are but I found you phone number in my wife's pocketbook. My number !@#$%^& and you better call me back"
Pres- are you sure this is not the guy?
http://coedmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/09/guido-tutorial.jpg
This chick is FUGLY!!! Her huge head is either photoshopped onto a good body or she suffers from that giant head disease. FUGLY!!
Reminds of the MTV True Life "I am marrying a Guido" episode.
"You gonna come off to me like that on my wedding day? I will find you and fu*cking gut you like the fish you are!"
Something like that...Kudos to whomever can locate the You Tube clip.
Best MTV episode of all time.
This guy has every right to be paranoid. Right in her bio she says she's gonna be get plowed by a Celtic this time next year (probably Scallabrine). . .
Celtics Player:
I don't have one yet, but will make sure I have one next year.
She dates Boston Hero? Any explanation from him for this weekends explosion or did El Pres oblige him and delete him from the site?
I'll be looking for Jennafa's black eye on Friday. Jen, if you need a place to stay call me.
It sound like Jennafa and her boyfriend are a match made in rocks-for-brains heaven. Advertising that you sleep 75% of the day is always a good career move.
Pommeranian- Viacom took it off youtube but I'm sure some wannabe Tommy Cheeseballs is down in Abington looking to kill Pres:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cpfa333iIks
Salty- too many 'Bud Meals' will do that
Call the bf and apologize for staining the rug -- you didn't know she was a squirter.
Strike 1: Favorite restaurant is Strega. Strega??? Yikes. (Strega and popped collars don't mix.)
Strike 2: Sleeps 75% of the day. Should switch that to "banging" for the popularity vote.
Strike 3: Favorite performer = JLo. Uggh. She looks Asian to me. I thought she was going to say Jackie Chan.
we all know this guy...you know, the one whose shoulder you graze as you are making your way to the bar and because he's with a bunch of his dork friends he responds immediately with...
"what the fuck is up chief"
You tell him to settle down and he blows up like you just skull fucked his mother right in front of him. You both get kicked out of the bar which now makes you mad because you didn't do anything. Once you are both outside and his boys aren't there he is nowhere to be found when you you want to now tell him what the fuck is up chief...
you know...that guy.
Sleeping 3/4 of the day is a sure sign of depression. This chick hates her life.
Bingo, Soog.
Get another Celtic girl and then maybe this one will realize she missed out and she is dating a insecure meatball. Sounds like a characteristic of a 30K a year millionaire.
I also liked the fact that her response to the 4 people she'd have dinner with was to actually have breakfast....
I love the fact you basically called this guy and girl out for being a douche for everyone to read. I'll taunt her at the next C's game.
Wow. She missed out. She wants to act really bad huh? Well fuck her, it's her fault for being lazy (sleeping 75% of the day) and being retarded (dating this guy). Don't give her a second chance, find a new Celtics dancer and give her the opportunity. Her parents are probably dumb as hell too for naming her Jennafa.
Am I the only one who thinks she sounds like a stripper or a heeoker in this part?
Dream Job:
Maybe acting. I am the toy store clerk in an upcoming Disney movie. I enjoying entertaining!! I love to see the expressions on people's faces when they really enjoy something, and I'm the one that helped put it there...
I mean granted, it's probably innocent, but i'd be interested in anything she could do for me that she thinks I might enjoy. "I'll be showing her my O-Face." Come one, you thought it too...
heeoker = hooker, my bad
Pres- i have a feeling that the news of Jennafa's one incher bf is going to spread like wildfire:
http://perkisabeast.com/blog/2007/12/04/beed-stallone-beware-jennafas-got-a-bf/
Eagle 1, you sick bastard.
Group tickets for Stoolie's to the next C's home game (Fri vs Toronto) ... we all go and taunt Jennafa 'til she quits the squad and decides to finally give in to her shit-stick boyfriend's requests to let him pimp her out ...
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It's Official- God Loves Boston Sports Fans. Johan Santana To The Sox Looks Like A Go.
God works in mysterious ways. Most Red Sox fans would have thought loony-
toon, decrepit George Steinbrenner stepping down favored the Yankees but the Almighty was looking out for the Sox. Out goes George and in comes his dimwitted son Hank who decided the only way to acquire superstar Johan Santana was to deliver wannabe tough guy public ultimatums to the Twins.
God love him. Because of Hank's desperate need to be taken seriously and Yankees management's decision that it's better to have P Ian Kennedy in pinstripes for the next five years than it would be to have Santana, the Sox, according to ESPN's Buster Olney, are poised to land yet another ace.
What are the Sox giving up for Santana? Looks like Jon Lester, Coco Crisp and minor leaguers Jed Lowrie and Justin Masterson or Jacoby Ellsbury, Lowrie and Masterson. Ummm...yeah, that works for me.
For sports fans around the country, after watching the Patriots win on Monday Night Football and waking up to the news that the Sox are going to land Santana, you might as well just accept the fact that God hates you, hates your professional sports team and hates your championship parade industry.
An Tain