Random Thoughts
Cheerleading Mishaps Are Always Fun
A couple people forwarded me this new cheerleading video yesterday. I got to be honest I kind of thought it was a yawner. I think the reason I wasn’t impressed is because I remembered a similar video that we posted awhile ago that made this one look like chop liver. So naturally I wasted 20 minutes of my life trying to find it. As it turns out I think it only exists in this Cheerleader mishap compilation video. In any event, wait for the 32 second mark for what I’m talking about. I think it’s safe to say we don’t even have to put this to a vote. It’s like comparing apples and oranges.
How Long Is Too Long To Save A Seat?: You Make the Call!
So I’m at an undisclosed Somerville bar on Saturday night for Game 3 and needless to say the place was packed with local drunks, Sox fans and blue collar lesbians. Anyway, unfortunately there was no where to sit so instead me and my buddy found the next best option - standing in the corner against the Mass. Lotto Scratch Ticket machine.
This was fine. Until we noticed a middle-aged couple sitting at a table with 3 chairs. It was the two of them with the 3rd seat occupied by… their jackets. I know, completely unacceptable in a packed bar during Game 3 of the World Series.
Now it was only the bottom of the 1st so I decided to give them a few innings. Finally, at the end of the 5th inning with the extra chair still occupied by jackets I had to say something to the woman as the guy who could’ve easily kicked my ass got up to have a smoke.
Me, pointing to the jacket chair: “Is there anybody sitting there?”
Middle-aged woman, probably hot in 1975: “Yes there is.”
Me, still pointing: “There’s somebody sitting there?”
Her, blatantly lying: “Yes.”
Me: “Those jackets have been there for 5 innings…”
Her: “There’s somebody sitting there.”
Maybe another night I would’ve continued the pointless conversation but I decided to walk away. I mean we’ve all saved seats before, but until the 6th inning? It’s an official game at that point! Turns out Mr. and Mrs. Douchebag weren't even saving seats, they just had their jackets there until they left in the 8th inning. Unbelievable.
Anyway, vote below 1-10 based on the number of innings you think it’s socially acceptable to utilize the "jacket chair" in a packed bar with tons of people standing right next to you with the Red Sox in Game 3 of the World Series on a Saturday night in Boston.
I voted a 1, now you make the call!
Kim Kardashian in Playboy
Our favorite guess that ass candidate Kim Kardashian was in Playboy this month. Now you’re never going to catch me complaining about sluts who want to pose naked, but this kind of seems like a waste right? I mean are we supposed to be excited about seeing naked pictures of somebody who has already starred in their own porno? As a rule once you do porn anything less than porn just won’t suffice. Don’t get me wrong I’ll still post the naked pictures of her because that’s my job, but I’m not psyched about it.
Which Sox Jerseys Produce the Sluttiest Chicks?
This is one of those "Question for the Ages" -- which Red Sox jerseys produce the sluttiest chicks? Not necessarily the hottest, but when you spot a girl wearing a Sox jersey - what name on the back screams "I'll hook up with anybody."
Here's my updated rankings based on what I've seen the past few weeks:
1. Papelbon - these broads are crazy, just like him.
2. Ortiz - the cutest chicks wear Ortiz jerseys, not as slutty, but still come through in the clutch. Clutch = 2 a.m. on a Saturday.
3. Pedroia/Ellsbury - we're talking the younger generation here so be careful. Also if you get a handjob from a girl who's left-handed, is it considered "crafty"?
4. Beckett - "sneaky" promiscuous, especially in October.
5. Pedro/Nomar - can't let go of the past + alcohol = sloppy drunk
6. Dice K - they've got the extra muscle down there but beware the "Great Wall".
7. Ramirez - slightly older crowd here, these girls are more respectable (yawn).
8. Varitek - probably gay but you've still got a shot.
9. Schilling - like drawing blood from a stone, too conservative.
10. Lowell - divorced twice, good luck.
if you see a mirabelli jersey...its like shooting fish in a barrel
chip that one wasnt real funny.
Sucking a lot of tips? What does that even mean?
Plenty of hot non gay girls wearing Varitek shirts, Manzo stop talking about the red sox when you know nothing and aren't a fan
3. Pedroia/Ellsbury - we're talking the younger generation here so be careful. Also if you get a handjob from a girl who's left-handed, is it considered "crafty"?
Hysterical...
CaptainNX533:
What the hell does being a fan of the Red Sox have to do with the above post?
Chirp- that was pretty lame, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who didn't understand that lame post. Thanks for contributing.
Buckner---no problem getting between her legs...Oh, too soon?
since the Sox won the world series, can we stop using the word "sneaky"?
Manzo- I enjoyed that post man. I think that's easily a top 3 contribution. I have to admit, it was even better coming from a Yanks fan too.
Just got back from the rally on my lunch break and Papelbon t-shirt chicks are the hottest, followed by Beckett.
If you can get through all the make-up and hairspray and Marlboro light 100s cigaratte smoke. They wear Ugg boots that went out five years ago too. It's pretty funny.
I'm 34 so I'm an old bastard but what's up with the younger twenty-something generation of guys. All I saw at the rally was a mutant strain of half eminem/half-townie.
No problem Sully glad I could get a chance little man.
What's the verdict on Coco shirts? I'd ask about Lugo too, but I can't say I've ever seen a chick wearing one of those. I've seen plenty of chicks wearing the shirts that say "Coco" or "Crisp" on the back.
Russell, cities don't have townies like college towns do. But your point is well taken.
You forgot Crisp, well everyone forgot about Crisp lately.
S
The only one I disagree with is Varitek.I continue to be dumbfounded by how many hot chicks wear VTek jerseys. Someone needs to explain that to me.
N
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A
K
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love how eddie haskell was 'crafty' and 'sneaky' getting that post in between mine.
Don Jeans - are you the same guy that complains when a wake up with comes at 3pm as opposed to 8am?
ChirpDouglas, you're just upset because I caught your mom wearing a Rod Beck shirt in bed last night. Tell her the Oil Can Boyd tramp stamp is a bit much though, ok?
Manzo, props on the Breeders Cup Curlin pick. Nailed it. I may be the only one, but I love the horse racing articles. Degenerates unite!
I'd have Beckett second, sluts in the 'know' pick Josh. The cougars go for Vtek.
I saw a "Love me Ortiz me " shirt on a chick yesterday and lets just say she was fucking beautiful.But you guys would've only given her a 6.2
Stay Classy
This broad/wilderbeast in the pitcure above should have a Matt Light shirt on
Stay classy
Be careful of the Beckett t-shirts. You'll be waiting at CVS for your Valtrex Rx the rest of your life.
Damon - She has completely lost touch with reality and probably says things like "the C on jason variteks jersey stands for catcher right?" and therefore is extremely easy.
Gagne - she is retarded and hairy (I SEEN IT!)
DJ- any luck on the mumbles video?
Doesn't "Gagne" mean "gag" or "choke" in French?
If so, I'd go with the chicks wearing the Greenwell shirts. They probably have hot, slutty daughters at this point too.
You Beantown guys are cracking me up...who would think of a Jersey Name to Sult index like you guys... Keep it up...this friggin city is in a deep depression...can't seem to win a game in any sport...
Aren't "townies" from Charlestown?
Sully-Little upset Papelbon left his pants on under his kilt during the parade? I know how badly you wanted to play his bag pipe.
Maybe next year little guy. Maybe next year.
Just, at least you didn't trade your #1 center for 3 role players.
HAHA. I know a gay chick who WORSHIPS 'Tek.
They took the power to make trades away from me a long time ago when I first let Shannon Sharpe go to Baltimore so he could win another Superbowl... Hell...they don't even consult me anymore... The Avs won't even answer my calls...
Aren't "townies" from Charlestown?
— robbyd, Oct 30 2007, 2:50 pm
Yes, it is the Townies (capital T). But I think Russ meant townie as in native, like you referred to the natives in your college town. Or not.
Manzo, props on the Breeders Cup Curlin pick. Nailed it. I may be the only one, but I love the horse racing articles. Degenerates unite!
— Saltytreasure, Oct 30 2007, 2:38 pm
thanks.. curlin was laughing at the other horses when he ran by them...
ChirpDouglas EVERYONE!! The pip squeek comes through with more homo erotic jokes that make absolutely no sense.
Ha, I own a Schilling shirt. Along with a Pokey Reese and Trot Nixon. I have no idea what this means, but I doubt it's good.
Chip Douglas in The Cable Guy > ChipDouglas in the blog
Pokey Reese...hmmmmmmmm.
sully, i can't find it. he probably threatened all the news stations with censorship if they released footage.
Beckett jersey = Banged Josh to get it.
Tek jersey = a good "catcher"
Dice K jersey = Import. Very durable and reliable.
you bought a Pokey Reese jersey? why?
that video was fucking nasty bum....you should be killed
Bumbum thats solid.
Bum-please dont ever post that shit again....
that video was fucking nasty bum....you should be killed
— ncarroll77, Oct 30 2007, 3:15 pm
Bum-please dont ever post that shit again....
— Eddie Haskell
HAHAHAHAHA
Hey BumBum, go eat shit!
"The only one I disagree with is Varitek.I continue to be dumbfounded by how many hot chicks wear VTek jerseys. Someone needs to explain that to me."
he's the captain. captains pull serious trim. period.
Anyone else feel like chocolate ice cream?
Brian Daubach is clearly the winner here and i'm surprised none of you mentioned him.
No one remembers the shirts "daubach's my daddy"?
The Soft Serve line at JJ's in Cohasset is going to be around the corner
Closed for the winter.
CRAP! I mean SHIT! You get the point...
The Soft Serve line at JJ's in Cohasset is going to be around the corner
— BumBum, Oct 30 2007, 3:29 pm
THAT IS GOD DAMN FUNNY
Varitek is ranked too low on this scale. In my experience, V-tek jersey girls tend to sport a more morally casual attitude.
I agree.. great call on Curlin but your touting of the Euro Trash horses cost you some points.. that one horse (simply perfect "11" horse) took 3 other horses (precious kitten one of them) completely out of the race by not being able to turn left.
Manzo I completely ignored your Breeders Cup Classic Selection in Curlin. Cost me in the Pick 4 big time as I had the three prior winners. Also cost me in the tri as I boxed every conceivable combination over the 3 long shots and somehow didn't put Curlin in any of them.
Horrible.
In the second to final race, English Channel was a layup. Anyone who went with the chalk (Dylan Thomas) deserved to be shot as he went off at 4/5.
I think Papi is too high on the list. That's the lazy chicks choice. Chicks seek out the Pap, Beckett and Ellsbury shirts. They know what they are doing with the t-shirt on and off.
the turf was typical, i tried to beat the favorite and did, but picked the wrong horse. i had $3 WPS bet on shamdinan so that paid well. the classic was tremendous, had curlin to win plus the exacta. missed the tri.
also i immediately tried to withdraw funds from my tvg account and it said "withdraw funds option not available at this time."
pricks.
The only answer is Gabe Kapler.
Seriously, an average at-best 4th outfielder who was a good looking dude and played no real pivotal role for the team outside of the first week he comes back to the team when he hits .800 with 2 homeruns.
And he was a top tshirt seller for women the whole time he was here.
I opened up a NYRA card at Saratoga this summer (free $50 on your account for signing up) and now I get an email everyday alerting me to Pick 6's that are worth $80,000 that are still alive.
Talking about roping someone in..
11. Youkilis = that chick is a man, baby!
id have to agree on the kapler thing...no clue about sports and just looking for a hog or 2 or 3.....
Reaadmiral, Cambridge is more of a city, we really didn't bother ourselves with the students, usually we just called them idiots.
The whole 'townie' thing can get confusing, esp disussing online. You'd be suprised at how many people never heard of C-town but they all know Southie.
Pommeranian
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Craziest College Football Ending Ever?
I know we're late with this video. We kind of had other things to discuss yesterday like clinching a World Series. Anyway you can always measure a great play by how many dead defenders are left on the field after it’s over. I think I counted four dead Millsap’s by the time this play was all said and done. Really the Majors have nobody to blame but themselves for this disaster. They were actually doing a pretty good job defending it for the first 100 laterals until it appears that they decided collectively as a team that they’d had enough and just stopped trying. Next thing you Trinity takes it to the house and the sell out crowd is going nuts.
PS – My favorite part of the video may have been the close up on the bleachers at the end which had less people than a Swampscott Pop Warner game. Did the cameraman really think it would be pandemonium or something?
EDIT: Video now up and running!
Pats Cheerleaders In Halloween Costumes
I fucking love Halloween! It's a known fact that all chicks love dressing like sluts and Halloween lets them do so without feeling like a ho bag. Clearly the best costume of the Pats cheerleaders is the Girl Scout. I mean that skirt doesn't even begin to cover her ass. Awesome. And just as an FYI to the millions and millions of chicks who are reading this blog; El Pres is an ass man. So if you're looking to win the $1,000.00 sexiest costume prize at our Wicked Halloween Party tomorrow night, keep that in back of your mind when designing your outfit or lack thereof.
- Thanks to Robby C for the photos
As a reminder Barstool Wicked Halloween is tomorrow Night! You MUST be on our guest list to get in. We'll probably make one more post about it today and then that's it. RSVP to wickedhalloween@barstoolsports.com. Party starts at 8pm at Hurricane O'Reillys. And if you're a dude don't waste my time asking for like 5 invites for five of your dude buddies. Every guy needs to email us individually from now on. Girls can do whatever the fuck they want to do just as long as they show up.
The Rolling Rally Vs. The Paper Route....Who Ya Got?
VS.
Forget about the Colts vs. Pats on Monday because today is the real showdown for the ages in Boston. It’s the Astrovan vs. the Duck Boats. El Pres vs. Menino. The rolling rally vs. the paper route. Yup, in a surprise to nobody at the Stool, Mayor Menino has scheduled the Rolling Rally to go head to head against my paper route today. Now lots of lesser smut peddlers would just throw in the towel today and not even try to get the paper out. But not me. I had a long conversation with the Astrovan last night and we decided as a team that we weren’t going to let the city dictate how we run our company. I almost cried. God bless the old bear. I mean if our bloggers had just had 1/10 of the heart that my Astrovan has the Stool would be in 43 countries by now. In any event if you’re watching the parade today on TV and you see people getting crushed by an Astrovan with a broken door you’ll know it is just El Pres making sure everybody gets their copy of the Stool. And if for some reason your local newsrack is empty tonight when you go to grab a copy please feel free to tip a forty for me and say a prayer because there is a 20% chance we don’t make it out of Government Center alive.
Sully how's your night job as mens room valet going at the gay bars? making/sucking a lot of tips?