Random Thoughts

Things to consider while wondering what species of critter died in your mouth last night:

*It's not a new expression, but it's one of those sports cliches that's been around but then starts making its way into common usage like "walk off homer", "shut down corner" or "dribble penetration." This year's football cliche is "imposing their will," as in "The Patriots are imposing their will on the rest of the NFL...er, National Football League week after week." A couple of the Redskins DB's used it to Pam Oliver and said their plan to stop the New England passing attack was to "impose their will" and "make them pay" for catching the ball. Instead, the 'Skins would've been better off composing their Wills.

*Granted the game was a lot of drinks and a lot of celebrating ago, but did the Pats cheerleaders at one point dress in schoolgirl uniforms, or was it my imagination, fueled by beer, Jack Daniels and a lack of morals? I think it was real. Every time you think you couldn't love this organization any more than you already do...

*I've got all the respect in the world for Joe Gibbs. Honestly I do. And Gregg Williams is supposed to be one of the great defensive minds in football. So how is it that Mike Vrabel goes out for a pass into the end zone completely uncovered? Don't they have cable in DC? Did Belichick alter the coaches tapes the league sends out to edit out all of Vrabel's TD's? He's caught what? like ten, plus two in the postseason, but still the entire Washington defense ignored him like he was a Chevy Malibu.

*That TD was a simple play action that the entire Redskins D bit on. The Pats went three TE's, I formation, Vrabel in motion right. Junior Seau was the FB and Heath Evans was the HB. Seau ran to C-G hole to the strong side, and drew Rocky McIntosh. Evans went off tackle to the same side, and Marcus Washington bit on his fake. No one even considered the pass.

*You know the game is a blowout when by the 2nd quarter you're screaming at the Foxbot "C'mon do something! Turn into a car! Anything!!!"

*Jason Campbell is a serviceable NFL QB. But he's going to really have to step it up in order to justify that Lando Calrissian moustache. Those things only belong on the lips of the very best.

To read the rest of this hungover mediocrity, click here...

Well leave it to the Red Sox to overshadow the future of the Yankees.  They couldn’t have waited another night to win the World Series??

First of all there can’t be 2 bigger pricks in all of baseball than Arod and Scott Boras.  We already knew that.  The problem was the future of the Yankees was on the line and the Red Sox had to go and do something crazy like win the World Series.  It just seems kind of selfish. 

Add in the latest news of Girardi in for Torre and today was supposed to be a day about the Yankees. Regardless, with Arod gone now from New York, the Yankees' chances for post-season success just increased 10 fold.  The question now is will they have enough to qualify for the post-season without him? 

Of course.  Especially if they trade Phil Hughes and Melky Cabrera for Johan Santana, then sign Mike Lowell to replace Arod and either Torii Hunter or Andruw Jones to play centerfield.

And as far as the Red Sox, this was just their year. 

Then it almost wasn’t.  Then it was again.  Clearly they were the best team and deserved to win the Division, the ALCS and World Series.  But take it from Yankee fans, a high payroll doesn’t guarantee you anything, so don’t take last night for granted.  Fans in 1919 were talking dynasty too, along with keeping down the Germans, and we all know how that worked out.

Nice job though... 2 World Series in 4 years, huh?

Not bad.

With all that is going on in Boston right now it would be easy to forget about BC. But don't worry Superfans, we got your back. I know that you guys are #2 in the nation regardless of the fact that Lee Corso doesn't even know what conference you play in. Ha! Ha!

PS - Do you think he meant to say UConn at #5?

If you want to see Peter Gammons announce his intention to commit murder, watch SportsCenter.

It takes a lot for Gammons to criticize any baseball player; he somehow seems to find the silver lining no matter how abysmal the athlete. He just respects the players and the game too much to rip the guys on the field. Is he a little too fanboyish sometimes? Probably for some people's tastes but it's Gammons. The guy has earned the right to look at every player with a little glass half full optimism.

So when he does come out and criticizes a player, you know he fucking hates the guy. And Gammons fucking hates ARod. Despises him. Loathes him. Abhors him. If ARod was on fire, Gammons wouldn't piss on him to save his life.

When asked about ARod and Scott Boras' decision to opt out of his contract with the Yankees and announce it during Game 4 of the World Series, Gammons said something like this (and I'm paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to actually rewind the DVR):

"It's fitting that ARod would announce during the World Series because it's so obvious that he's such a clubhouse cancer that he's never gonna win one. Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury have rings and ARod never will. ARod is an asshole and I hope he dies from ARod's Disease, a new and horribly agonizing death that only he gets that makes Lou Gehrig's Disease look like a runny nose."

There are a million Red Sox riot videos floating around the Internet today. If you see any that you think are really good or any good pictures please send them our way. For now we'll just stick with banana man. (Although truth be told I'm not sold that Banana Man isn't really Mustard Man"

Thanks to Bon for sending it along

I know that the big story of the day is obviously the Sox winning the World Series.  But we’d be remiss not to at least mention what the Pats did to the Redskins yesterday.  In case you somehow missed it, the Pats beat Washington by 9,000 pts.  And with yet another blowout victory it has become very apparent the Pats will not be content to just go 19-0 this year.  Oh no.   Belichick has decided that they need to break every single season record in the book and leave no doubt that they are the greatest team in the history of the NFL.  And good luck to anybody who wants to try and stop them.  I mean the Pats aren’t just beating people; they are raping and pillaging them.   It’s unreal to watch.    They not only kill you, but once you’re dead they shoot you 50 more times in the head just to prove a point.   The only thing I can compare it to is when a bad guy in the WWE has already won his match and is just sitting in the middle of the ring smashing his opponent with a medal chair long after the match is over and there is nobody around to stop it.   I mean it’s ruthless.   And I love it!   Everybody and their grandmother are whining about the Pats running up the score on people.   Well if you don’t like it than get better, quit or forfeit.  Because I’m pretty sure we’re not the only team in the league with guys who are getting paid to win.   Sorry if I don't feel bad for the millionaires on the other side of the ball. This isn’t Pee Wee football.     It’s not our job to worry about hurt feelings. Belichick had Joe Gibbs so flustered yesterday that Gibbs was actually calling Timeouts and kicking onsides kicks down 50 with a minute to go.  I’ve never ever seen that before.  And then when the final whistle blew he just put his tail between his legs and sprinted for the locker room.  Maybe this type of shit happened at Nebraska in the mid 90’s, but not in the NFL.   It is simply unprecedented what we are witnessing. This isn't about a team trying to just win a championship.  This is about a team trying to put together the single greatest season in the history of mankind. A season that will live on long after all of us are gone from this earth.

Text on Back Says - “Hardware - There is no better feeling than a ring on your finger.   The Sox have twice as many rings as the Yanks this century.  While NY fans continue to live in the past, the Sox continue to dominate the present.”

Rate the awesomeness of this shirt which is now on sale at the Barstool Store. And for anybody who has never seen the original Got Rings shirt you can check it out here. I've been waiting to unleash this shirt idea for months...

Here at the 'Stool, we have one standing rule: "Never write when you're still drunk from the night before." Or it might be "Always write when you're still drunk..." I forget. But no matter.

It might be the wisdom that only comes at the tail end of a 12 hour drunk, but I'm throwing sound, reasonable judgement out the window and wondering publicly if this Red Sox team is on the verge of becoming a Dynasty.

Consider that they took over first place on April 15th and went box-to-wire with the best record in baseball. They faced a banged-up but talented Anaheim team and steamrolled them. They faced the best pitching staff in baseball in the ALCS and did the impossible: took a series that went the full seven games and made it into a rout. They faced the hottest team in the history of October baseball and turned them into bit players. The "Visitors" to the Sox' George Washington Carver High Peanuts.

They've now one twice in four years. They were one Grady Little brainfart away from another World Series trip. The core of their pitching staff: Beckett, Dice-K, Lester, Buchholz, Papelbon and Delcarmen, will all be under the age of 28 next year. Pedroia was a rookie this year. Ellsbury will be one next year. Youkilis is still years away from having free agency leverage. The guys they want to keep (and I hope they want to keep Lowell) they have the resources to keep. They guys they want to let walk, they have the means to replace. They're riding white horses through PleasureTown and they're about to do Veronica Corningstone on the rainbow.

This is what the beginning of a Dynasty looks like.

October 27th, 2007
Sox Fans Out In Force
Posted by Jeff Horrigan at 3:33 pm

Red Sox fans are already gearing up for tonight’s game at Coors Field and every LoDo/Blake Street bar I walked past on my way to the ballpark is already filled with boistrous visitors from New England. One of the most interesting dynamics of the weekend has to be the clash of Sox fans with the massive amount of Cheeseheads in town for the Green Bay Packers-Denver Broncos game on Monday night. I had a nice chat with a pleasant couple from Waukesha, Wisc., (come to think of it, virtually all mobile Cheeseheads are pleasant) before I left my hotel. When they noticed my press pass (I instinctively put it on before I left my room) and saw that I was from Boston, they wanted to ask me questions about the Bostonians they’d encountered in the 24 hours or so since they’ve been in town. Basically, they wanted to know why Boston fans act the way they do when they go on the road, which tends to be somewhat like Conquistadors invading enemy territory. “We like to travel with the Packers to see how people in other parts of the country live,” the man told me. “It seems like these Red Sox fans want to show the people here how THEY live.” His wife then leaned forward and whispered: “A lot of them seem like J-E-R-K-S.” I didn’t have a rebuttal because there really isn’t any way to explain the behavior of many of these Boston “ambassadors”. The conversation was very thought-provoking.

Is Jeff Horrigan an idiot or something?  Why do Bostonians act like Conquistadors when we travel to road games?  Is he serious?  I mean how else would we conquer them?   As far as I know you don’t conquer people by playing kissy face with them.  You conquer people by going into their homeland and shoving your way of life down their throat.   You impose your will on them and make them into your slaves.  You burn their city to the ground and then when there is nothing left to burn you hop on a plane and fly home with a victory in your back pocket.  Isn’t that the whole point of going on a road trip to begin with?  

You beat cancer. You shut out the Rockies in Game 4 of the World Series. And apparently you have a smoking hot girlfriend. Yes, it's good to be Jon Lester.

From the Globe:

The Red Sox and their entitled traveling Nationalists who've been taking over other people's ballparks for three years have officially jumped the shark. ...You may have heard some of them talking after Thursday's scintillating Game 2 World Series win at Fenway: "I hope we win the World Series again. I mean, it's been an eternity since we won. I've waited three long years for this. I just hope they lose a couple this weekend in Colorado so we can win it at home. That would be so much more fun."

Yup, you got it. That's what we're all saying. Sure got us pegged.

This is what Dan Shaughnessy has been reduced to. He's made a career out of selling the stereotype of the dour, pessimistic, Calvinist New England baseball fan to a world that was willing to buy his drivel. Now that everyone, save for only the most mordant old-timer (a dying breed to be sure), understands that the Red Sox are a great, young, successful ballclub and destined to dominate their generation, Shank has to write...something. So he invents this straw man of the clueless, spoiled buffoon who's worried about how the Sox win another title. Get it? You're team is good but you still suck.

This second Sox title is the death knell of the CHB's career. If he can't work this long-suffering-Sox-fan angle, he's out of bullets and he's thrown his gun. What's he going to write about, college hoops? Football? Even he can only pen so many "the coach is a grumpy Gus" columns. Shank is flopping on the deck, his gills gasping for air. His ridiculous "Curse" industry is obsolete. He's a buggy whip maker as the Model T is being rolled out. He's a typewriter manufacturer in the computer age. He's a telemarketer in a Caller ID world. Goodbye, Dan. And good luck in your post-sportswriting career.

Someone is paying $40,000 to send this chubby, man-boobed, receding hairline fucktard to college in Boston. Mom and Pops, it's time to stop paying.

Just look at this dude. He's like a way uglier version of the guy from Superbad and now he's being immortalized on Barstool Sports for being a complete and total douchebag. I would bet Matt Clement's World Series share that this kid isn't from Massachusetts. But since he's obviously tormented by the crippling knowledge that he's going to die a virgin, he decided that the best way to celebrate a Red Sox championship was to throw shit at the cops and act like an asshole.

So, who knows this kid? What's his deal? Are his boobs real? Are those plugs? The world wants to know- who's the chubby, man-boobed fucktard rioter?

Photo courtesy of Ratty. Signed prints available at www.rattyisthekingofallgingers.com.