ABC.com -- For about an hour last August, Gary Hoffman was a very lucky man. Hoffman was playing the nickel slot machines at the Sandia Resort and Casino on an Indian reservation in New Mexico when he appeared to hit the jackpot: the machine said he won nearly $1.6 million.  Hoffman says in a lawsuit filed earlier this year that Sandia refused to pay, claiming that the machine malfunctioned. Instead, he said, they gave him about $385 and a few free meals at the casino. 

$1.6 million on a nickel slot?!  Good luck with the lawsuit buddy.  That's 30 million nickels! Listen, this guy should just be happy he got the $385 and the free meal.  I’m sure the food at the Sandia Resort in Bumfuck, New Mexico is pretty good.  Clearly this man (see above) is a full-blown degenerate and he of all people should know that anytime you walk out of a casino with any money on you at all is a miracle.  Sure there’s a slight difference between $1.6 million and $385, but in the grand scheme of things, let’s face it, this guy was going to give it all back anyway.  It didn’t matter how much money it was.  I’d say the over/under was a year and half before he was flat-broke, back at the "Mystical Mermaid" machine calling cocktail waitresses “Honey” and urinating all over the seat.