Random Thoughts

MANATEE COUNTY, Fla. -- Two girls at a Florida high school were booted from a football game for painting their bodies to show school spirit, even though boys with painted bodies were allowed to stay. Manatee High School student Monica Cummings, 17, and her friend Jessyca Altenbach, 17, painted their entire bodies in school colors for a big game this week. However, both were kicked out of the game in the first quarter. "People think we did it to be rebellious senior teenagers but we did it because we wanted to show school spirit," student Monica Cummings said. "That's all we did it for." School district policy states that it is up to administrators to decide whether something is appropriate or not and in this case, the principal decided that the girls' outfits were not appropriate.

I’ve read this story 10 times and studied the pictures.  And for the life of me I can’t figure out why these chicks got kicked out of the game?   Was it for being ugly?   That’s the only possibly explanation I can come up with?   Although they don’t seem that gross to me.  Regardless if the administration is trying to send a message that only hot chicks should be allowed to wear bikinis and paint their entire bodies than I for one say Bravo. 

Is there any doubt this man chick would dominate the shit of of Biel in bed? Look at those fucking hands. Biel couldn't get away from her if her life depended on it. Anybody know who this monster lesbian is?

I tried writing this yesterday, but the exact quotes weren't available in print until now. But Ravens LB/self-aggrandizing nitwit Ray Lewis is calling out Patriots all-purpose superstar Adalius Thomas.

Lewis is ripped because Thomas made these wildly inflammatory comments in the new SI:

“I’m coming in from Baltimore. People there wanted the limelight, people sought out the limelight, starting with the head coach. It was a star-studded system. Here, it’s about as different as you can get. Everybody here shies away from being the star guy. Nobody on this team beats his chest. They just all go about their business. And win.”

Here's what Lewis said in response:

"[W]hen you take a shot at men who you claimed you loved to go to war with, I call those (types of guys) cowards. Because if you’ve got something to say privately, you don’t have to go to a newspaper. If you have something to say to a man, speak it.” He then went on to point out that Thomas has been to two Pro Bowls, while Lewis has been to eight, so "you can take what he's done and I quadruple it."

So to recap, Thomas says Baltimore is a team built on a star system, and the Patriots aren't. Lewis argues the point by comparing his individual awards to Thomas'. And Lewis is all cheesed off that Thomas would say this to "newspaper" (SI) instead of hopping a flight to Reagan International, renting a car, and driving to Baltimore to say it Lewis' face. This would be the same Ray Lewis that two days ago ripped Brian Billick in the newspapers for his play calling against Buffalo.

Ray Lewis is a fraud. And Thomas will show him how "cowards" say things "privately" when they meet on December 3. Thomas' over/under on YouTube plays in that game just went up to 7.

Hammer Don’t Hurt Em!  What happened to Topanga?  Somebody grab that Twinkie out of her hands.  Forget the Freshman 15 it looks like she put on the Freshman 5,000.   Somebody help her.   There’s nothing worse in life than wasted talent. 

PS – What the fuck is Lance Bass talking about?

ABC.com -- For about an hour last August, Gary Hoffman was a very lucky man. Hoffman was playing the nickel slot machines at the Sandia Resort and Casino on an Indian reservation in New Mexico when he appeared to hit the jackpot: the machine said he won nearly $1.6 million.  Hoffman says in a lawsuit filed earlier this year that Sandia refused to pay, claiming that the machine malfunctioned. Instead, he said, they gave him about $385 and a few free meals at the casino. 

$1.6 million on a nickel slot?!  Good luck with the lawsuit buddy.  That's 30 million nickels! Listen, this guy should just be happy he got the $385 and the free meal.  I’m sure the food at the Sandia Resort in Bumfuck, New Mexico is pretty good.  Clearly this man (see above) is a full-blown degenerate and he of all people should know that anytime you walk out of a casino with any money on you at all is a miracle.  Sure there’s a slight difference between $1.6 million and $385, but in the grand scheme of things, let’s face it, this guy was going to give it all back anyway.  It didn’t matter how much money it was.  I’d say the over/under was a year and half before he was flat-broke, back at the "Mystical Mermaid" machine calling cocktail waitresses “Honey” and urinating all over the seat.

VS.

Vs.

God I love old people.   I just hope I never become one of them.   But I don’t want to die either so I’m not sure how that’s going to reconcile those two things.   Anyway the first video that caught my attention was the old man who fell up the escalator.  It just struck me as hilarious so I tried to find a couple other good old people videos to compare it to.   Surprisingly there isn’t a ton of old people mishaps on the web.    Probably because old people don’t know how to use the Internet yet.   Regardless, based on my minimal research I think these are just about the top three old people videos out there.   My favorite is still the escalator guy because it just seems so impossible to fall up an escalator.   It’s a once in a life time type of occurrence.   The other two videos are pretty standard fare in terms of old people mishaps.   You got grandpa taking a digger trying to race his grandson which I’m guessing happens at least 75% of the time in these situations.  And I’m also thinking 95% of old people fights end with a guy knocking himself out trying to throw a punch.   Cleary the best thing to do when your old and in a fight is just let the other guy punch himself out.  So the winner has to be the escalator guy just on the rarity of the situation.

We try our very best at Barstool Sports to keep our content unique. Yeah, we do post the same stories and pictures that has already been posted on a billion other blogs, but we put own unique spin on it to keep it fresh. Now having said that the following post is taken verbatim from Deadspin. But I felt it was so good that I had to share it with the Stoolies. A reader sent them the following email.

(And yes we need this type of shit from the Stoolies. If you see anything funny, unique or weird in Boston we want to know about it. These are the types of stories that people like to read about the most and we can't write about them if we don't know about them. Kudos to Deadspin on getting this...)

Longtime UK fan but in all my years at Commonwealth Stadium, I've never seen this. Here's the deal. 8:00 mark, 1st quarter, UK up a touchdown. Most people celebrate with high-fives and rocksplosions. But the couple in front of me...not so much. They celebrate by straight up finger-banging. that's how we roll in the bluegrass. My girlfriend alerted me first of this hot public action. Then the chick to my left elbowed me pointing with disgust at the table-turning in the pants. (Apparently women can hear other women's belt buckle coming undone.) Then, basically, me and 32 others in the section watched with shock-and-awe for the next 3 minutes as this M.I.L.F. got her shit on.

And the crazy thing is that this chick seems like she's got a pretty tight body. Throw out the plastic pink watch and she seems dare I say classy? I'd pay at least 1,000 bucks (in hats) to see her face.

Well Super Thursday is finally here.   In my humble opinion this is the biggest sports night in the history of Boston.   Yeah, I know lots of people despise BC, but you can’t deny that tonight’s game is huge.   Virginia Tech is clearly the toughest game left on BC’s schedule.  If they can squeeze by the Hokies,  they have a legitimate chance at playing in the National Title game.  I almost passed out just writing that sentence.   And then obviously we have Game 2 of the World Series which speaks for itself.   Honestly has their ever been two more important games played on the same night like this?  If so I can’t remember.   I’m real curious to see what the Superfans are planning on doing to handle the situation.   Are they going to go to out and risk having to watch the BC game on a six inch TV in the corner of the bar near the bathroom?   Or are they staying at home on clicker patrol?   There is no handbook on how to deal with a situation like this since it’s never happened before.   Anyway, I think a fair question is which game will be closer tonight, the Sox or BC?   Personally I think both games will be close.  But I guess I wouldn’t be shocked if the Sox blew out the Rockies based on what I saw last night.  And I would be stunned if the BC game doesn’t come down to the wire.   So my vote is that the football game will be closer.  Here are my predictions; And if anybody nails the differential in both games with both winners I'll send you a free shirt of my choice. Put your guesses in the comment section. More than 1 guess is an automatic elimination.

BC – 27 -24

Sox 48 -3    

SAN ANTONIO -- A girl's high school volleyball team was shocked to find a bloody deer carcass on their bus after a game against a rival.  Members of the Comfort High School Whitetail Deer volleyball team came across the remains of a dead deer after playing a game against Blanco High School.  A sister of a Comfort High School student said she believes students from Blanco High School placed the carcass on the bus as a prank. "That is very inappropriate, I just couldn't believe it," Laura Lozano said. "(My sister) was just so surprised that they would do something like that." Lozano said the rivalry between the two schools is deeply seated.

First of all thank god for Inspector Cluso. (AKA the sister of the Comfort High Student)   Because I’m pretty sure this would have been one of the great unsolved mysterious of our generation if she didn’t piece together the clues and figure out that it was their rival high school who planted the dead deer on the bus.  I mean I know I didn’t see the connection there.  Regardless this story is awesome and actually restores my faith in humanity.   I was beginning to think all kids cared about these days were the X games, their Iphones, and rock and roll.   It’s good to see some of our Nations youth is still focused on things that matter like intimidation and dominating your opponent.   Bottom-line is I don’t want to live in a world where the dead mascot in the bus trick has gone out of style. 

Giving the Rockies the respect they've earned, granting that it's only one game and we've all seen teams in different sports come back after a blow out game in a seven game series and bounce right back, and offering all the right qualifiers and yada yada yada, last night Uncle Buck and I were asking each other this question: Is Colorado the baseball version of the 1985 Patriots?

Both teams, while maybe not calling them "Cinderella," could at least be considered improbable championship contenders. The Patriots were the lowest seed in the AFC playoffs that year. No one outside of El Presidente talked about the Rockies winning the pennant (I still have no idea where he got that from). Both teams were the runt of the sports litter in their home towns. Both got hot at exactly the right time. Both were the champions of a decidedly weaker league/conference. And both came to the final round as completely anonymous underdogs against a team that was a household brand name, familiar even to the most casual fan.

And like the Super Bowl XX Patriots, last night the Rockies looked completely overwhelmed by the 10,000 megawatt spotlight when they got to on the big stage. On the Bears first play from scrimmage, Walter Payton fumbled and the Pats recovered. On 3rd down, Lin Dawson dropped a sure TD pass and the Pats had to settle for a FG. They wouldn't score again until it was 46-3. Last night Josh Beckett started the game with 14 straight fastballs and probably could've thrown 86 more without them putting one in play. And by the time he came out of the game, Jeff Francis looked like Tony Eason around the time John Hannah went to Ray Berry and said "If he goes back on the field, I won't."

Just so UB and I can't be accused of jinxing this thing, we're not saying Colorado can't come back and make this a series. But last night they sure looked like a team that was ready to fall behind by six touchdowns.

Reader Email

Hello BSS,

I recall an El Pres posting from a few days back regarding the lovely and talented Jeannie Zelasko.  I believe there might have been a rating involved here.  Never saw the outcome but I did have the pleasure of meeting her in person last night.  I was at the Capital Grille with a client and around 8:30 a large party comes in and takes up the table to my right.  I notice a small smug looking fellow that I instantly recognized but couldn't put a name to the face.  Behind him was a real live transvestite.  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, it was Ken Rosenthal and Jeannie Z followed by Kevin Kennedy, Chris Myers and Eric Byrnes amongst others.  

Now I'm not here to start any rumors, but I will say this much - despite the fact that the table sat 10, Jeannie and Eric might as well have had a candle between the two of them.  Laughing it up, touching and gazing at each other the entire meal.  Also, if she is a 4 on TV, she is a 1.5 in person.  No Thank You.

Regards,

Chris

Interesting.   I thought for sure you were going to say Jeannie was hotter in person but I guess I was wrong.   A 1.5 in person huh?  Not good.  Not good at all.  Regardless after watching the pregame show yesterday I’d say it is 110%certain that Eric Byrnes is plowing Jeannie Zelasko.   I mean they were flirting during the pre game show! It looked like Eric Byrnes couldn't get eliminated from the playoffs fast enough so he could snuggle up to Jeannie. It’s not even a rumor.  It’s a fact.  Eric Byrnes is banging the shit out of Jeannie Zelasko.    You heard it hear first.

Also, if I were a Dback's fan (not sure those exist) I'd be pissed if Eric Byrnes was doing these games. You just got eliminated like 5 seconds ago. Maybe this isn't the best time to tell everybody how great Colorado is.

Much more Leila here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com