Random Thoughts

Kristin Kreuk

Erica Durance

Laura Vandervoort (new Superwoman chick)

Henton, 20, was arrested Monday night in a prostitution sting and charged with soliciting an undercover female police officer. He pleaded not guilty yesterday morning, then posted $250 bond and was released in the afternoon.

In court, a handcuffed Henton said nothing and hung his head. Judge Amy Salerno, though, had plenty to say.

Calling Henton "an ambassador of Ohio State University," Salerno told him that "I and many fans and graduates of Ohio State University are very disappointed to see you here today in my courtroom. Salerno earned a law degree from OSU.

Those comments had to have been made by a judge that doesn't have any children. And has never HAD a CHILD that's had their heartbroken and come HOME upset... after the hooker he solicited turned out to be an undercover policewoman. Here's all that kid did: he goes to class. He's respectful to the MEDIA. He's respectful to the PUBLIC!...And he's a good kid, who gets horny like all kids. He's not a professional athlete ,and sometimes he has to pay $20 for an orgasm. That judge obviously doesn't have a child. Well I do. And if your child goes down the street, and someone makes fun of him, because he solicits prostitutes, or says he's a whore-chaser, and he comes home crying to his mom...then you'll understand. You want to come after someone, come after ME! Criticize ME if I don't have the common sense to ask "Are you a police officer" before we start talking the price of a BJ. I'm a MAN! I'm 40!.

As a side note: the Columbus campus of The Ohio St. alone has 26,000 female students. This kid is QB. He can't get laid for free? Makes me wanna puke.

[And as a post script, here are the wisest words of advice you may ever get in your lifetime: "If you see teeth, think 'COP'."]

The Wiki guy and the lesbians about half way through make this a charming sequel...Here's the original if you forgot...

Do sox fans care about the SI jinx or is that only for people like Dan Shaughnessy to worry about? Vote 1 for you don't care at all. 10 for you wish this didn't happen.

Click Here For the Answer (And if you can't guess it than you haven't been paying attention for the past year)

Hutchinson, KS -- A 44-year-old woman made her first appearance in court Friday on charges of disorderly conduct and criminal trespass stemming from her arrest at the Kansas State Fair.

Donna Myers, of Hutchinson, appeared before Judge Randy McEwen on Friday. According to court documents, Kansas Highway Patrol troopers twice escorted Myers from the fairgrounds Sept. 14, with troopers noting she was "drunk and disorderly."

According to an arrest report from the Highway Patrol, Myers "stated she jumped the fence and just wanted to see Loverboy," a band performing at the fair.

First of all, 44 is too old to hop the fence.  I know it's the Kansas State Fair, but you can’t be hopping fences passed like 19.  After that you have to duck underneath the ropes like a boxer or just go around.  Regardless, I did a little research for this blog and found the Kansas State Fair website. As fate would have it, Loverboy was NOT scheduled to perform.

According to the website,

Alice Cooper cancelled his appearance at the 2007 Kansas State Fair. Fair officials have secured the classic rock bands Loverboy and Night Ranger to replace Cooper...

So who knows if the cougar would’ve hopped the fence to see Alice Cooper.  Probably not.  Loverboy and Night Ranger is just a different animal.  I'm not sure cougars in Kansas go crazy for Cooper. And as far as what song Loverboy was playing when she hopped the fence - had to be "Turn Me Loose". Very anti-establishment...

BONUS COVERAGE: This "Lovin' Every Minute Of It" video is so ridiculous I don’t even know where to start.  From the meaningless phone call at the beginning to the walk-down-the-hall fist pump, I’m not sure it gets any better than this. And if you don't remember the 80's, this was cool back then.

Double thumbs up - "All right!"

Man this is a tough one.   I kind of got a hunch that Ivanka is an absolute wildcat in the sack.  She just seems like one of those rich kids who always had to play the role of Ms. Goody Two shoes even though her life was really fucked up.  Therefore, if you loosen her up, maybe do a little coke, she’ll tear your dick apart. I’m telling you she definitely takes out her aggression from her parents divorce by fucking the shit out of people.   As far as Melania goes, I’ve never been able to get a read on her.   She’s like the last person on earth I’d want to play poker against.   I’d even kind of be afraid to bang her.   I feel like she could sneaky be a vampire that sucks your blood out while you’re screwing her and leaves you dry, withered and dead on the bed and then Trump walks in and laughs at you.   Therefore, I think for me the choice is Ivanka. I guess it wasn’t that hard after all.  Vote 1 for Invanka and 10 for Melania.

Helen Simpson, 33, from Nottingham, was wearing a low-cut, black evening dress when a woman staff member told her to cover up or leave.

"She said I was wearing too low a top, which people found offensive," Simpson said. "`I was highly embarrassed – humiliated, absolutely humiliated. I feel like I've been discriminated against for having big breasts....You don't see women with too small boobs being criticised, do you?"

I have to admit, this is a very difficult situation. It's hard to be fair to all sides here. Helen has a God-given right to display her improbably large sweater pies. The casino has a right to conduct business without its clientele being subjected to those veiney, sloppy, train wrecks. At the same time, chubby chasers like to gamble too, and the house is infringing on their rights to ogle Helen's ridiculous balcony while they fritter away their kid's college funds at the Baccarat table. On still another note, Ms. Simpson is right; large breasted women do have it tough; it's time we as a soceity started paying attention to them. And she's correct in calling for widespread criticism of small-breasted women. Shame on them. And give Helen credit for doing the right thing. When you want to make the case that you suffered cleavage-related embarassment in front of a small group of people, it's always best to release the twins in the newspaper for the whole world to see. In all, this situation is a quandary inside a dilemma wrapped in a predicament.

But I'm all about compromise. I say expose Helen's boobs, cover her face. Glad I could resolve the situation to the benefit of all.

I know what you’re thinking.  How is it possible that Barstool Sports hasn’t sponsored KY wrestling at the Roxy yet?   I mean we’ve done everything else right?  Well don’t worry, after seeing this video I did some internet research to see what could be done to rectify this situation.  Unfortunately I couldn’t find any local KY Jelly promoters.   Not even Jello Wrestling promoters for that matter.    It’s actually kind of sad.  I mean what kind of country are we living in where an honest smut peddler like myself can’t even find a local Jello Wrestling promoter to set up matches like these.   Sad day indeed.   I may need to put Manzo in charge of our newly formed KY Wrestling division effective immediately.

Nice to see the Bruins going back to the Harry Sinden playbook. And not very deep into it. Page 2, right after "Blame the Best Players" and right before "Curry Favor with the Hockey Writers; Get Them to Blame the Best Players" says "Bringing Back a Legend to Engender Goodwill with the Fanbase is Easier and Cheaper Than Building a Winner."

When I still cared, they did this with my boyhood hero Gerry Cheevers. Later it was Terry O'Reilly, and I temporarily forgot I'd lost interest. Briefly it was Mike Milbury but by then the Bruins were just a rumor with me. Guys in their early 30's grew up loving Cam Neely...not a bad choice incidentally, but now it's those guys turn to watch their hero rendered impotent by the institutional mismanagement and inbred bungling stupidity on Causeway St.

Note to Seabass: Page 3 says "Get Writers to Say Failure is Legend's Fault; Fire Him." Somewhere Ray Bourque is waiting by the phone.

The first photo of our #1 draft pick in 2029 reveals a lot about what we have in store. First off, it looks like JET is gonna be a righty. This is good, as dominance from the left side may have resulted in a career as a pitcher. Second, he's got all his fingers, meaning there will be plenty of room for all those rings he will win us down the road. Lastly, he appears to have great down-field vision. This is key because even though his mom has a nice milk producing rack, he's clearly hungry for a bigger, better meal:

FOX NEWS - - The NFL apparently thinks its players are concerned more about sideline scoring than their coaches' game plan. The league reportedly sent a memo to all 32 teams ordering them not to allow their cheerleaders to warm up — or do anything distracting — in front of the visiting team's bench. CBS NFL analyst Charlie Casserly broke the story last weekend, saying there were concerns around the league that some teams specifically ordered their cheerleaders to perform in front of visiting teams in hopes of distracting them from pre-game instruction.

El Prez's Take: Roger Goodell is a mad man. Who is he to say where Cheerleaders can and can’t warm up before a game?  If Belichick tells Quinn (hot Pats cheerleader pictured above) to bend over and flaunt her perfect ass in somebody’s face who is he to stop that?   That’s just gamesmanship.   It’s becoming painfully clear to me that Goodell is bent on destroying the NFL.    What’s next?  Only fat chicks are allowed into the game?  No making noise in the crowd?  No pregame tailgating because the smell may waft its way into the stadium?  This is a joke.  He’s treating football like it’s the SAT’s.    No distractions.   No calculators.   No getting up to take a shit. No waving hot asses in people’s faces.   Somebody please stop the insanity before it’s too late.

PS – Quinn really does have one of the top 5 asses I’ve ever seen in person.  She was in a lingerie contest that I judged. I was going to do a full blown profile on her until I read she was married.  That kind of killed my initiative.   If Roger Goodell really wants to do some good he should ban cheerleaders from being married.  Now that would be a cause I could get behind.

To try and make things right in the cheerleading world, here's UB's tribute to great moments in cheerleading...

Much more of Kat here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com