Random Thoughts

UB is so mad that he can't even focus his anger on one person, so let's spread it out a little...Fuck the following people:

• Eric Gagne - Two quick outs then he shits his pants and gives up 3 walks and two hits. If he's smart he'll stay in Canada.
• Terry Francoma - When Gagne walked the tying run to 2nd why the fuck is Papelbon not making his way into the game? It was a 2-1 lead, he should have at least been getting loose for the 9th. Every other manager in baseball is able to stall, but Tito. He just froze. Even after walking the bases loaded and then walking in a run, Paps still never came in. And why the fuck is he experimenting with Gagne at this point anyway? A 1 run game with a 3.5 game lead? Are you fucking kidding me Terry!?!?!
• Theo Epstein - UB didn't see it at the time, in fact no one saw it at the time. When Theo picked up Gagne, everyone patted him on the back. Meanwhile, his move has single handedly fucked everything they worked on prior. Sticking Gagne in between Okajima and Paps not only screwed up Gagne's head but has now ruined Okajima. Maybe he should go back on WAAF and start talking about JD Drew because he sure wouldn't want to talk about Gagne at this point.
• JD Drew - Nice fucking effort on that line drive dip-shit.
• Tom Caron - Sorry Tommy but if you tell me one more fucking time that the Red Sox magic number for the playoffs is 5 and getting smaller, UB is going to kick down the NESN door and beat you over the head with Jim Rice's dick.
• Jerry Thornton - Ever since Jerry posted that the Sox beat the Yankoffs in the first game of the series over the weekend, the Sox have lost 3 games in the standings. El Prez was right, Jerry jinxed us.

Shannyn Sossamon

Mandy Amano

Lisa Gleave

VOTE NOW for Wednesday's Wake Up!!!

Once again, Tuesday rears its miserable head. Sure the fact that the Patriots are on the verge of marching through the NFL like Sherman through Georgia mitigates things somewhat. But the Red Sox are determined to turn a laugher of season into white knuckle time no matter how much I wish otherwise. It's like dating two girls and having one go all psycho while the other one is putting out like no one ever has before.

So it's a difficult, confusing, exhilirating, wretched, bizarre time to be a Boston sports fan. Time for the comfort that can only come from watching a smarmy, self-important little college puke getting tasered by cops for disrupting a Q&A with Senator Kerry.. Pure joy. The only question is what's funnier here: the kid yelling "Don't tase me, bro!" or the sounds of him yelling when the cops proceed to do exactly that. He sounds like he's doing the "Death of Mary, Queen of Scots" scene from Monty Python.

No, the best moment is the kid hogtied with cuffs behind his back, the crowd calmly watching like the whole thing is a Fanueil Hall street performance and he starts screaming "Somebody do something!!!" Yeah, we're right on it.

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Wall Street Journal - The TaxProf blog, which gets its second salute from the Law Blog today, tackled an interesting question: Whether Bill Belichick (pictured), head coach of the New England Patriots, can deduct the $500,000 fine — the biggest ever for an NFL coach — he received after violating league rules by videotaping defensive signals from New York Jets coaches in the Pats’ regular-season opener earlier this month. (The team was fined $250,000.) The answer: Yes. The blog excerpted an email discussion by 12 tax law professors who, after 10,000 words on the matter, including testy exchanges over the interpretation of some old tax cases, mostly agreed that the fine is deductible under section 162 of the internal revenue code, “trade or business expenses.”

First of all only a bunch of tax geeks would need to include a picture of Bill Belichick to clarify who he is.  Dude, that’s like saying Elvis (pictured above).   Secondly is there any doubt that Bill Belichick was at least 7 of the 12 tax law professors referenced in this email discussion?   The guy is everywhere.  He’s omnipresent.   In any event we can cross the $500,000 fine off the list of penalties.  Now I’m waiting with baited breath to see he turns our lost draft pick into some sort of draft day bonanza.   And to be honest I’m still not ruling out that Belichick orchestrated this whole thing just to help get the Pats focused this year.   He’s that brilliant.  

Aol.com - BEIJING (Sept. 17) - A man in southern China appears to have died of exhaustion after a three-day Internet gaming binge , state media said Monday. The 30-year-old man fainted at a cybercafe in the city of Guangzhou on Saturday afternoon after he had been playing games online for three days, the Beijing News reported. The report said that about 100 other Web surfers "left the cafe in fear after witnessing the man's death."


I don’t pretend to be the smartest man in the world.  But this seems like a pretty silly way to die.   Listen we’ve all been there.   We’ve all been so engrossed in video games or gambling that we don’t want to move.  Hell back in 1987 I almost lost a thumb due to the worst case of Nintendo Thumb you’ll ever want to see.  But I was never in danger of dying.  Because there is no rule that says you can’t eat while you play. The worst case scenario for an addicted online gamer should be they shit themselves.  And as far as I know nobody has ever died from marinating in their own crap. 

I got to be honest. I didn't realize there was a breast milk shortage.

Boston.com -- Governor Deval Patrick today outlined his plan to license three resort casinos in Massachusetts that he said would create 20,000 permanent jobs and generate $400 million in new annual revenues that would be dedicated to fixing crumbling roads and bridges and offering a $215 property tax credit for homeowners.

The three casinos -- in Southeastern Massachusetts, Western Massachusetts, and metropolitan Boston -- would be regulated by the "most rigorous and robust" gaming commission in the country, which would be funded by an assessment on every slot machine and table game, according to the administration. Each casino would also have to give 2.5 percent of its gross revenue to a new Public Health Trust Fund, which would combat gambling addiction and fund battles against other societal ills, including domestic violence and child abuse.

First of all let me get this straight, we're building not one, not two, but 3 casinos in this state and taking part of the profits to fight gambling addiction? Isn't that like Taco Bell giving money to the Plumbers Union?

Whatever the case, the bottom line is that yes, Patrick has all but assured himself the Degenerate Vote in 2010, however #2, trust me as someone who grew up in the early Foxwoods Era in CT, don't get fooled into thinking these casinos are gonna help save the polar ice caps. They may sound great on paper, but rarely do they ever work out. I refuse to research the numbers but Foxwoods and Mohegan ended up costing the people of CT more money than it made them. And I'm just not talking about the $5 fee every f*cking half-hour at the No-Limit tables. The only people I know of who are up money in that state the last 15 years are the Pequots, the Mohegans, Jim Calhoun and Geno Auriemma.

Now obviously I support the 3 Mass. casinos for purely selfish reasons, I can even see a Barstool Casino Night where everyone pisses away their salaries at the craps table while Rabit the Barstool mascot rolls the dice. I'm just saying it will probably have a negative overall impact.

Okay time to vote. Vote 1 for a casino-free Mass., vote 10 for Viva Las Bay State.

I know we’re starting to beat a dead horse with this Belichick thing, but I keep being amazed at just how jealous other cities are of the Pats.  Just look at the standings in the NY Post.   Ha!   What did somebody in the gossip section come up with this idea?   I guess this officially ends the farce that the NY Post is a real newspaper.   I’d believe something I read in the Alien Times before anything I saw in the Post.  Honestly, have you noticed that the only people still complaining about this cheating fiasco are fat idiot sports columnists who hate Belichick and players who the Pats have pummeled in the past?  Yeah I’m talking to you Hines Ward and Ladainian Tomlinson.  Notice how almost no coaches have come forward and ripped Belichick and most ex coaches have defended him.   That’s obviously because all coaches steal signals in one form or another.  They know that this has been blown WAY out of proportion and the only reason it even became an issue is because Eric Mangini is a vagina and complained about it after getting his dick stomped on by the Pats.   And the beauty of it is that the Jets got accused of cheating the very next week.  

Yahoo.com - Ravens coach Brian Billick accused the New York Jets of using an "illegal" ploy to draw Baltimore offside during Sunday's game. Billick said Monday that the Jets' defense shouted out signals to intentionally throw off the Baltimore offense. Billick claimed the tactic led to the three illegal procedure penalties against the Ravens. "You have to look at the nature of the penalties. First off, the fact that we had 11 penalties and they only had two and we dominated the game," Billick said. "I have a hard time understanding that the team that was playing so well and dominating had so many penalties and the other team had only two."

So I guess in all fairness the NY Post should now put an asterisk next to the Jets 0-2 record as well.    Although I guess when you subtract 0 wins from 0 wins you're still left with 0 wins. Ha! Ha! Ha! The poor ,poor Jets!

Huge win for BC on Saturday Night against Georgia Tech.   And while we’re only 3 games into the season the Superfans have established themselves as the clear favorite in the ACC.     Now unfortunately for BC the two toughest games left on their schedule are both road games as they have to travel to Vtech and Clemson.  A double problem is that those are two of the toughest places to play in the country. Having said that I think BC is clearly head and shoulders above everybody else in the conference.    And as much as I made fun of Jeff Jagodzinski when BC hired him his new wide open offense is just what the Superfans needed with Matt Ryan at the helm.  Anyway, here is my top 10 right now…

1. Florida (They ended last season as #1.  I’m not sure why they’re still not #1.   Especially after beating UT by 30.  To be the champ you got to beat the champ.
2. USC – Impressive in their white washing of Nebraska whatever that means.
3. LSU – Everybody is sucking LSU’s dick because that’s what everybody does with SEC teams.  LSU is clearly very good but they haven’t played anybody yet which is worthy of the ball washing they get every week.
4. Oklahoma – OU is another team who is crushing everybody.   They raised eyebrows with that demolition job on Miami, but Miami sucks.   So again I’m not sold that these guys are as good as their ranking indicates.
5. Ohio State –Jim Tressel is one of the top coaches in the country as he consistently changes the style of play based on his personnel.   I could easily see them running the table again in the Big 10.  .
6. Oregon – I had a hard time deciding whether to put the Superfans here or Oregon.  I decided on Oregon simply based on the fact they went into Michigan and held them to one TD.  Yeah, Michigan may suck but their offense doesn’t. 
7. BC – I honestly think BC can play with everybody on this list except maybe Florida and USC.    It’s a typical looking Superfan team. Big and strong and physical.   Mix in the star QB and they have all the makings of a BCS bowl team.
8. Rutgers – Rutgers is the most complete team in the Big East.  I’d love to see a BC vs. Rutgers BCS game.   It may actually be my personal dream matchup.  
9. Cal – I don’t love Cal.     Granted they smoked Tennessee but everybody smokes Tennessee.
10. West Virginia – West Virginia is like a better version of Louisville.  Yeah, they have a great offense that will score on anybody.  But I still don’t trust their defense.  That’s why I think Rutgers is better than them.  Just more balanced.

I’m sure everybody has heard this new OJ tape already.  In a nutshell OJ confronted some sports memorabilia dealer who he claims stole all his shit and was trying to sell it.  To be honest, I could care less about the details.   I’m more curious what the sports dealer was thinking when OJ was threatening his ass.   I mean you can say whatever you want about committing a double murder, but the bottom line is that it brings a certain street credibility with it.  I mean if OJ says he’s going to fuck you up and "this shit ain’t over" you kind of got to believe him.   That’s got to be the best part of being a murderer right?  You can make everybody shit their pants when you get in their face.  It’s like being huge without having to work out.  That and chicks apparently dig murderers.

Much more Marissa here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com