Random Thoughts
Barstool Mascot On Stern Update
Somehow Pete Manzo forgot to attach the pictures of Baisa Rabit (Barstool Mascot) from her appearence on the Howard Stern show this morning. Don't worry El Pres to the rescue. And for all those people wondering whether she plugged the Stool, the answer is that she didn't. But I knew going into it that she wasn't going to mention us. And I really can't blame her. Rabit went on the show to plug her own website and she had to let a dude fart in her face for 1 minute just to mention her own thing. Imagine if she snuck in a shout out to the Stool? She probably would have had to let the guy shit in her mouth or something. Sure you can argue that it would have been worth it, but I can't be mad at her. Anyway here is the pictures from the show and description of what happened;
Howardstern.com - Will the Farter came in to announce that a friend of his was selling the domain name, Farts.com, and to play a game. Howard explained that three women who have things to promote were willing to play, so he'll offer them plugs if they let Will fart baby powder into their face for one minute. Howard first asked Rabbit, a Polish model, if she would like to take off her top, so that the powder wouldn't ruin it, and she promptly stripped. Rabbit then lied down and laughed her way through a minute.
"What a Country!" - Barstool Mascot "Rabit" Goes on Stern; Gets Farted On and Rides the Sybian
From Paul on the Barstool message board...
"Some polish chick also named Rabit was on Stern today getting farted on then rode the vibrator machine. She's also 21 years old. The picture of her on howardstern.com doesn't look exactly like her, but it's close enough that I'm wondering if they are the same chick."
You are correct, sir. I just got confirmation from El Presidente that the Polish girl who was on Howard Stern today getting farted on and riding the Sybian was indeed Barstool mascot "Rabit". Honestly, what a country. I'm curious - did she mention The Stool? She had to have, right? No way El Pres lets her go on Stern without plugging the website 50 times. Regardless, this chick certainly has her shit together. No one could argue that. First she makes her U.S. debut at Barstool Bowling last month, next thing you know she's getting farted on and riding a vibrator machine on the top-rated satellite radio show in America. I don't think The Beatles had a better start in this country.
Note: if anyone has video of this, please post it below.
Videos Prove Bear Grylls is a Fraud and I'm Not Taking it Well
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I hate to spoil any part of Hayden Panettierre's 18th birthday (Did we mention she turns 18 today? That we can lust after her now and not worry about ending up on the Sex Offender Registry? Did we? Just making sure.), but you remember the piece El Pres posted a while ago about the reports that while taping "Man vs. Wild", uber-man Bear Grylls sometimes stays at hotels and such? I faced that story like a man. I stuck my fingers in my ears and said "La la la la la la. I'm not list-ening!!! La la la la. I can't he-ear you!!!"
Well it appears there could be some truth to it, as these videos show. In the first one, he's struggling to survive the in the unforgiving terrain of Mt. Kilauea, with a highway a hundred yards away. In the second, he says he's using his backpack as a floation device, but it doesn't take Oliver Stone to see he's clearly wearing a life vest. He might as well have been standing in front of a blue screen with a fake Amazon behind him like in Hasselhoff's "Hooked on a Feelin'" video. Next they'll tell me that was a Gummi sheep's eye ball and the urine he drank was Crystal Light.
I'm speechless. I feel like a kid who opened the wrong door at the mall and found Santa with a bottle of whiskey and an elf's breast in his mouth. I'll never believe in anything, ever again.
Here's some more Hayden to ease the pain.
Gambler Complains Of Urine-Soaked Seat
ELIZABETH, Ind. - A Kentucky man who was playing slot machines at the Caesars Indiana casino claims he sat in a chair soaked with urine left by a gambler who had just exited the seat.
Floyd Kibiloski, 60, of Fern Creek, Ky., filed a complaint with the Indiana Gaming Commission, saying a woman who had been playing the slot machine moments earlier had urinated in the chair at the southern Indiana casino. Kibiloski said that after his pants got soaked by the chair July 21 he was given no help in finding a place to clean up and had to walk to his car to change into an old pair of sweat pants.
Gamblers who become addicted can enter a trancelike state where even basic hygiene habits are ignored, said Carol O'Hare, executive director of the Nevada Council on Problem Gambling. Their reasoning is so impaired by the addiction that they may go for hours and days without eating or showering...
Well I can certainly speak to that last sentence, but I must say - I've been to casinos everywhere from the Bahamas, to Las Vegas, to a riverboat in Burlington, Iowa, and never have I had the misfortune of sitting in a puddle of an old lady's urine. Or a young lady (see above). I mean there has to be rules in society and this is one of them. You can't piss at the slot machines. The only exception I would make if you knew the machine was about to pay off. Some people know this. My buddy's uncle used to fall asleep at the machines out in Vegas muttering to himself, "It's gonna hit... it's gonna hit..." before dozing off on the console. Granted he never hit, but in that case, open up the flood gates. We'll worry about the grounds crew rolling out the tarp in the morning.
Maria Sharapova Sucks In Bed?
The Sun.com - Slimy MAROON 5 frontman ADAM LEVINE has slammed former partner MARIA SHARAPOVA's behaviour between the sheets. Levine said: "She wouldn’t make any noise during sex. "I can't tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she'd be the loud screaming type. "But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it 'ruined her concentration'. "It was so disillusioning that I went on (anxiety disorder drug) Paxil for a month afterwards. "Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny."
This story has been circulating the World Wide Web like wildfire. But I’m calling bullshit on it. I refuse to believe that any chick would actually say “you can’t moan during sex because it ruins her concentration”. That just sounds totally made up. Now I don’t doubt that Sharapova sucks in bed, but there is more to this story than meets the eye. Regardless that’s what Sharapova gets for dating a hippy. In fact, if I’m elected President my first act as your leader will be to make sure all hotties only fuck athletes and smut peddlers. No messing around with hippies. It screws up Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest. But this doesn’t change the fact that I bet Sharapova is a cold fish in the sack. She just doesn’t have that freak factor vibe emanating from her insides like some chicks do.
Patriots Updates Brought to You by Hot Chicks; Featuring Hayden Panettierre
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I can't believe it's Hayden Panettiere's 18th birthday. I mean, who saw this coming? It's not like I've been counting down to this day so I can finally stop pretending. Stop holding back those urges and finally admit, without fear of reprisal, openly, to the whole world, what I've wanted to do with her for so long now.
Talk about the Patriots.
Me: You know Hayden, for the longest time I've had this fantasy where you and I get together, make ourselves comfortable on the couch...
Hayden Panettiere:...Yeah...
Me: ...and talk about the zone blocking offense the Patriots are switching to this season.
HP: Oooh...sounds hot. I love it. Let's get biz-aay...
Tuesday Tirade: Charlie Manuel Edition
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I'll admit, this isn't one of the great, insane rant type tirades. The kind that add cool catch phrases to the lexicon like Lee Elia's "Print IT!!!" or Jim Mora's instant classic "Playoffs? Pa-Pa-Playoffs?" This was more of a 24 hour SportsCenter highlight followed maybe by a brief stay on the "Best Damn Sports Show" circuit. Still, it gets going when you think Manuel is joking, every reporter thinks he's joking, then you realize...he's the only one in the room who isn't laughing. That's when you know grandpa's had too much to drink and quite enough of your horsing around, kids.
But really good, angry, blood-spitting rants should be saved for Tuesdays when you're really cheesed off at the world. And today, with Hayden Panettierre turning into an adult, I can't get mad about anything.
Rate Heidi From The Hills New Song
Dlisted.com -Heidi Montag debuted her new song "Body Language" on Ryan Seacrest's morning show on 102.7 KISS-FM this morning.
Who knew Heidi was a singer? This chick is really trying to elbow LC out of the spotlight huh? It’ll be a sad day when Heidi and Spencer get their own reality show and you know it’s coming next season. Anyway, I got to be honest. I thought the song was okay. I mean I certainly wouldn’t blink if I heard it on the radio and didn’t know who it was. And same goes with Spencer’s rap part. Again if I didn’t know who it was I wouldn’t think twice about it. It sounds like a typical kiss 108 or Jammin song which actually brings up a bigger issue for me. Do you think most singers and actors are talented or just lucky? I’m going with lucky. I mean anybody could record the song that Heidi just recorded. It’s kind of a joke. And the same goes with actors. I feel like any pretty person could be a good actor if you gave them a chance. That’s why I always puke when I hear actors talking about the craft and shit like that. It’s bullshit. Yeah, there are a few really talented singers and actors out there. But the bottom line is the majority of them are frauds. I mean if the likes of Heidi Montag, Jennifer Lopez and Lindsey Lohan can sing and act that means anybody can do it.
Anyway rate Heidi's song not that it matters because we'll find out the real answer eventually because "truth in time tells all". And if you don't know what that means then you don't know Justin Bobby.
Eric Gagne Causes Fan Anger To Boil Over Leading to Arrest...
Bostonherald.com - Fan frustration with Red Sox [ team stats] closer Eric Gagne reached criminal proportions Friday night when a 35-year-old Marion man tossed a water bottle at the pitcher’s mound after the right-hander blew a one-run lead in the ninth. Gianno Lettieri acknowledged his bad behavior, blaming it on his attendance at a series of disappointing Sox games. “I’m the bottle thrower,” Lettieri admitted when he answered the phone. “It’s not funny. It’s stupid. I’m an idiot, but I can’t remember when I’ve been to a win. . . . I brought my daughter to a game in Chicago. We can’t win with Willie Mo. I’m just losing my mind.” After the closer gave up the lead, Lettieri said, he was mad at Gagne and mad at Red Sox Manager Terry Francona. “I was like, ‘Here’s your water, Stupid,’ ” he said. “I wasn’t firing at him. . . . I was actually more pissed at Francona. I mean, Manny (Ramirez) finally comes through and this is what we get. He’s a do-nothing manager, just like ( Yankees skipper Joe) Torre. What does he do besides chew gum?”
I honestly don’t know what to make of Gianno Lettieri. Is he an idiot or just a normal fan who couldn’t take Gagne anymore? I don’t think throwing a bottle on the field is enough to convict the guy. After all, I’ve thrown a water bottle on the field at Fenway before. It was the year the Sox played the Yankees in the ALCS and the umps kept fucking us. I just couldn’t take it anymore. If my memory serves me correct the play that sent me over the edge was Chuck Knoblock missing a tag or something on a double play and the umps calling Offerman out. But the point is I got pissed enough to throw a water bottle on the field so I can see how it can happen. But this guy’s excuse about how the Sox always seem to lose when he shows up is pathetic. And what’s Willie Mo have to do with anything? If you’re just pissed at Gagne maybe I can understand it. But when you start bringing up how the Sox have a losing record when you’re in the crowd that forces me to vote for crazy.
I am more mad about Gagnes fuckup jobs than all the bullshit calls in 99 playoffs, because I didnt have the feeling we were going to win that series anyway. Completely justified to throw the ball at Gagne, but his explanations is where the crazy comes out. What the fuck was he talking about??
One of my college professors was at that game and admitted that the next inning (or maybe same inning) when Nomar got called out on a bullshit call, even he lost it with the rest of the fans.
yeah I have no idea what Wily Mo had to do with anything. he was traded that day or the day before. I like the line, "here's your water stupid".
That picture, of the clown who threw a half-hearted punch at Sheffield then completely pussied out when Sheffield stood up, is a classic example of people acting like asshats at fenway. Throwing water bottles, pizza, spilling beer all over your section and taking cheapshots at players makes you look like a fool and you should be tossed. Better yet, send them to the local jailcell to dry out for the night. You make all Red Sox fans look stupid, this ain't the Bronx.
HA HA HA HA HA!
Wasn't Jose Offerman on the '99 version of the Sox? Imagine if in the deluge of paper cups and popcorn boxes, he had gone all Rambo on the umps? I think he'd have my vote for the Boston Sports Hall of Fame.
Hoo, I gotta write this stuff down. There's a movie script in here somewhere.
That 99 Playoffs series should have been investigated by the FBI.
I'm pretty sure that was Tim Donaghey working first base that game.
But there is no excuse for throwing shit. Especially when you see the turd that did it. No way I have any confidence in him making an accurate bottle toss. That schmuck could have missed Gagne and hit Youk's giant head.
With a name like Gianno it makes me wonder if this guy really knows about baseball at all? Did he just come off the boat from one of those crazy Eurpoean soccer matches?
I don't want to hear any yankoff fans acting all high and mighty on this one. I've seen shit fly in the Bronx before. '04 ALCS Game 7 comes to mind...
I also threw water bottles at that ALCS game prez. That game was painful.
This happened in the section right below where I was sitting...after throwing the bottle the guy started to walk up the ailse towards the ramp between sections 30 & 31...the security guard that was on the field came flying up from behind the guy and tackled him in the walkway...pretty good takedown...he then put him in a hammer lock until more security and cops could show up...
hendry, I know the guy that threw the punch at Sheffield. He's tough and a good guy. Sheffield, on the otherhand, is a piece of shit
I threw beer cans at my TV. does that count.
Good for him for throwing a bottle at Gagne. It's all his fault. I mean, the front office and Francona have nothing to do with the fact he's out there. Yeah...get mad at Gagne.
speaking of wily mo...he's wrecking shit up now that hes back in the nl. back to hitting bombs
Leroy: No doubt that Sheffield is a peice of shit. That said he was trying to field a ball in right and that guy House from Norwood tried to take a pussy-ass swing at him. He claimed later he was trying to knock his hat off (lame), then when Sheffield stood up and confronted him he backed down like a pussy.
Yea maybe he's a "good guy" as you claim, but trying to sucker someone, and that's what it was, and then backing down? He's anything but a "tough" guy as you say.
Sheffield would have mauled that guy
hendry,
trust me Chris House wasn't tring to punch Sheffield in the face or he would have (period). Maybe he was trying to knock his hat off, slap him, distract him or who knows. It doesn't make him a pussy. Maybe he realized that security might come...
anyway, I haven't seen him in years
However, I know him, he's a good guy and I'll say it again, "he's a petty tough guy and was a good football player.
I don't argue with many people out here. Just telling you my opinion. Glad that you saw it on t.v and have him all figured out.
Leroy, you're right, I did see it on TV. I know what I saw and that was House trying to sucker the guy then backing down (you said it yourself, "the guy that threw the punch"). Where I grew up that's a pussy move. Don't write the check if you can't cash it.
And mptree is right, Sheffield would have mauled him.
I'm not trying to argue with you either, and I don't think I have him "all figured out". Maybe he is a good guy as I said before, but I know what I saw. Most tough guy's wouldn't do what he did, period.
I'd hardly call it a sucker punch
that being, Sheffield wasn't jumping the wall to get him either!
I understand why you'd draw your conclusion. I was trying to give some personal insight; not that it matters...
Did House swing at him? Did House back down? I say yes, and you say.....? About Sheffield jumping the wall, I bet your "tough guy" wouldn't have filed suit, would he? And if he did jump the wall you think your boy would have stood a chance? lmao, but I saw House do his best what-did-I-do impression and let the fat guy next to him try to bail him out. And I'm a Red Sox fan who never liked Sheffield.
So your personal insight is what exactly? House is a good guy, a tough guy and a good football player?
I know some pretty tough dudes (most of them MMA type fighters, kickboxing, etc) and none of them would have pulled the crap your so called "tough guy" House pulled. What he did was something a junior high school kid would have done. He's a grown man for christ sakes.
Thank you mptree. I couldn't have said it better.
Hendry,
that's exactly what my fucking insight was....House was a good guy, a good football player and teammate (and he was tough). To clarify, I never saw him friggin fight anyone but he was a damn good football player that I considered to be tough. What the fuck is so hard to understand about that...
mptree,
I wouldn't classify him as "my tough guy". To clarify, I never claimed he was an ulitmate fighting champion just a guy that I played football with for one year that was pretty good.
So WHY would you feel compelled to add the word "tough" to your description of him?
"hendry, I know the guy that threw the punch at Sheffield. He's tough and a good guy. Sheffield, on the otherhand, is a piece of shit"
You could have just said that he's a good guy. Either way, he acts like a toddler in public.
I'm sure that you've played sports with lots of guys; most of us have. Based on this, you get a sense if guys are tough or not. I consider him to be tough. I think we're getting into semantics...
I don't think the Fenway thing was a HUGE deal. He got his tickets reinstated, so the sox apparently have forgiven him.
"he acts like a toddler in public". Perfect.
Leroy, maybe he is a good guy (for the 3rd time) but on that night he was acting like a douche. The Sox reinstated his tickets because they forgave him, well said. Why would you stick up for this guy by saying he's tough? He was being irresponsible that night and acted like a ....well....like a junior high school kid. Him being "tough" was not evident. And for the last time, I don't like the Yankees, or Sheffield or people who act like douchebags. It's people like him who can give Fenway fans a bad rep, just admit it was bush league.
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Cop Offers To Rip Up Vida Guerra's Parking Ticket In Exchange For Naked Picture of Herself
Tmz.com - FHM model Vida Guerra -- famous for her bootylicious backside -- claims she was out Friday night with for dinner with friends. When they returned to her car, they saw a parking enforcement officer writing a ticket. Vida said she was shocked at a remark allegedly made by the officer's partner, L. Salgado. Vida says, "I can't believe the guy said he wouldn't give it to me if he got a naked picture of me." Mayor Pro Tem Jeffrey Prang told TMZ the City "is taking these allegations seriously." He added, "We will have more information once we conclude the investigation. We have the highest expectation of our City workers and contractors and we hold our employees to high standards.
What’s everybody so worked up about here? A naked picture of Vida in exchange for ripping up a ticket seems like a fair trade to me right? I mean it’s not like the cop asked her to give him a blow job or anything. And it’s not like he patted her down or anything like that. He made her a fair offer and she denied it. Negotiations like these happen everyday in every office across America. It’s just part of corporate America. I don’t think this guy should be penalized for trying to proactively find a solution that made both parties happy. It’s the very foundation of what this country is built upon.
Have At It, Boys. Hayden's Legal.
Finally we here at the Stool can stop being accused of corruption of the young and declare that Hayden Panettiere is a hot piece of ass who UB predicts will give us years full of Barstool posts for the masses to consume. In honor of this momentous day, here are 18 Reasons to be Thankful that Hayden is finally 18...
From her first major BSS spread:
To all of those Guess that Ass moments:
We wish you Hayden a happy, happy 18th birthday...
Another dipshit that makes the rest of us look like assholes. I was at the same game pres...'99 playoffs. People were justified to throw shit that game.