Here's what Gary Mathews Jr. said in the LA Times about Red Sox fans:

"They're loud, they're drunk, they're obnoxious.

"It's different from New York. Yankee fans are passionate about their teams, but they're a little more couth. They have a little more class than Boston fans. At least in New York they appreciate guys who play the game hard and play the game right and they let you know it.

"In Boston, they just smack you for three straight days. They're just dogging you there the whole time. It's a different place."

Mathews was saying this after being asked why the Angels of Orange County of Los Angeles of Anaheim of California are 4-15 at Fenway since 2003.

And you know what? He's got a point. Say, Gary? On behalf of Sox fans everywhere, I apologize for our boorish behavior. We are nothing but a bunch of mouth-breathing, savage troglodytes. You're right. We're lower on the evolutionary ladder even than Yankee fans. And I speak for Sox fans everywhere when I say that beginning with your double header on Friday, we're turning over a new leaf.

Forget the obvious home field advantage we provide. From now on, we're all about fairness. Politeness and etiquette are now the hallmarks of our creed. Sure we could get on your case about this. We could point out that you're a career .264 hitter who's been dumped nine times in your nine year career. We could get on your case about the fact that you're up to you've got more Growth Hormone in your system than a herd of beef cattle. Which you denied until you were caught red handed. Then you apologized, not for being a cheating mofo but instead gave the ol' "If I've caused any distractions" non-apology apology. We could do all that, but we won't.

Starting this weekend we'll show just as much class and restraint as those Yankee fans you love so much. And we apologize if we've caused you any distractions.

(As a postscript, I'll concede the point about us being drunk.)