Random Thoughts

The Cheerleaders get an F for effort in this video.   They didn’t even come close to catching this chick.  In fact, I’m betting that the chick who got dropped probably fucked one of the other cheerleader’s boyfriends or something.   Because the fix was in on this one from the start.

I know this is El Presidente territory here with the reality shows but I've been watching "Rock of Love" on VH1 starring Bret Michaels and a house full of whores, and I think this Mia chick (see left) has one of the best bodies on TV right now -- reality or otherwise. She has to. You can't really tell from the picture so we're only allowing fans of the show to vote. And if UB or anyone has any NSFW pics, please post them. I read she drives a tractor if that helps.

As far as the actual show, last night I'm pretty sure America saw the first reality 4-some in TV history. It was Michaels and 3 of the girls, one of whom he booted at the end of the show, one of the others supposedly banged Vanilla Ice on "The Surreal Life", but that's still unconfirmed. The other was just your run-of-the-mill reality slut looking to "rock Bret's world".

The other highlight was one of the craziest people in the country - "Rodeo", having approximately 12 nervous breakdowns during the show over her kid who she misses back home. At one point the veins in her forehead almost punched Bret in the face. Michaels booted her too, which was a smart move but could hurt the ratings.

Anyway time to rate Mia from "Rock of Love". Again if you haven't seen the show just take my word a vote a 10.

Aolfanhouse.com - Yi's Jianlian's agents would prefer that he play in cities with large Chinese population. It will benefit both CBA and Yi; it will help promotion. And it will guarantee him better restaurants and perhaps better looking Chinese girlfriend."

First of all I admire Yi Jianlian for coming right out and laying his cards on the table.  I’m sick of pro athletes making up all sorts of ridiculous excuses as to why they don’t want to play in one city or another.   Not enough respect shown in negotiations, not enough commitment to winning, racist city blah, blah, blah.   Everybody knows it just boils down to money, chicks and good restaurants just like Jianlian said.   Now having said all that I feel like Boston owes Milwaukee an apology.     For a long time there it was rumored the Celts were going to draft Yi.   I’m sure he flew into Boston and Danny Ainge took him to the Super 88 for lunch and then drove him up and down Comm. Ave so he could check out all the fine Asian ass floating around at BU.    After all, if you’re into Asian broads, BU is like the Mecca of the universe.  Although you’d think that a guy like Yi Jianlian would be looking to nail some white chicks after being surrounded by Asians his whole life right?    Maybe there is something to what our old cover model Jillian said about Asian girls having and extra muscle in their box that makes them tighter?   Hmm, something to think about for sure…

I’ve been meaning to do this latest idea for a couple months now. From time to time we’ve written about different pizza joints in MA and without fail people always chime in on their favorite places. Well it’s time to find out who has the best pizza in the Commonwealth of MA.  Yup, everyday for the next month we’re going to try and post a new pizza place and let people vote on the quality of the pie.   At the end of the month we’ll crown the winner and either have a Pizza Party there depending on where it is (El Pres doesn’t travel well) or just send them some award to signify their victory.  Maybe a free Barstool hat?   And this isn’t going to be one of those Improper Bostonian Best of Boston sham’s either where Upper Crust automatically wins because they run bazillion full page ads in their magazine.  Nope, luckily for us no pizza places advertise with the Stool, so there will be no buying this title.   This will be the most honest unbiased pizza poll in the history of civilization and what better group of people to determine the winner than the Stoolies.   So let the games begin with the aforementioned Upper Crust.   And by the way please send all nominees to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com.    Also please write a short description so everybody knows what you’re talking about.

Upper Crust

I’m a fan of the Upper Crust.  Granted you got to save up for a couple weeks to buy a large pizza, but it’s worth it.    And we’re not voting on price so that doesn’t factor into the decision.  My only negative is that I don’t like huge chunks of tomatoes that they put in there.   Also, they don’t advertise with us so that subconsciously knocks them down two points in my book.  It’s also kind of why I had them go first in this poll.   Anybody who knows anything about voting knows it’s tough to win when you go first.  Bottom-line is that I’m not going to make it easy on anybody who advertises with our competitors and not us.   On the bright side the owner did email me one time asking me for the phone number of a past cover girl.  Kind of takes a lot of balls to do that without buying a full page ad in the process don’t you think?   Anyway enough talk.  Rate the Upper Crust.

Click here for the answer

Boston.com - "So I (Tom Werner) wanted to play a practical joke on Larry," he revealed in an exclusive e-mail yesterday. "John Henry was in on it with me. I told John to get Larry down to the field at 12:30. I put on the Wally suit (it was about 200 degrees in the suit), I walked out on the field and, after shaking a bunch of kids' hands -- isn't that what I'm supposed to do? -- I walked up to John and shook his hand. "Then I walked up to Larry and tousled his hair. He had that look on him which said, 'What the hell are you doing?' "I then took three rubber baseballs that I had in my hand and fired them at his head. Now he was getting extremely irritated. "I then went up to him, started to push him, and tousled his hair again. He said, 'What is going on with you?' "I put up my mitts and pretended to fight him. Now he was really getting angry." "I said to him, 'Larry, it's me! Tom!' "I don't think Larry was as amused about the practical joke as John or me," Werner acknowledged yesterday.  "Boy, he was about to say to Wally, 'You are so [expletive] fired.' ""All I will say," Lucchino wrote in an e-mail last night, "is that the final chapter of this dastardly deception has yet to be written."

So you’re trying to tell me that One Eyed Bandit had no clue this stunt was going on?   Does he think we’re stupid or something?   This was obviously his idea from the word go.  It’s all part of his master plan to himself look more human.  It’s like when Arod pushed that little kid into oncoming traffic on Newbury Street and then grabbed him right before he got run over and called himself a hero.   Listen Gorden Edes may fall for this hook line and sinker but not us.   You’re going to have to wake up a lot earlier in the morning to pull one over on the Stool.

Dlisted.com - A while ago there was a rumor that Osama Bin Laden was in love with Whitney Houston and wanted to kill Bobby and make Whitney one of his wives. Well, Bobby is touring in Australia and he has beefed up his security. Bobby said, "I figure if Bin Laden wants me, and everybody is looking for him, it probably won't happen. But if he wants to try and find me for something so stupid, he can do what he wants. I have to leave it in the hands of my higher power. "Come on, if anybody [else was] threatened by Al Qaeda, they'd take it seriously."

Rule #1 of Barstool Sports is that we don’t discuss politics.   But how stupid is George Bush?   I mean how does Dlisted.com know what Osama Bin Laden’s weakness is and our President doesn’t?   I mean Bobby Brown seems pretty convinced that Bin Laden is going to come out of hiding and kill him so he can get to Whitney.  But I’m not buying it.  He’s not going to risk it all to kill Bobby Brown.   But dangling Whitney in front of him is a whole different story.   Bin Laden will have no choice but to show himself.   It’s so freaking simple it’s a joke.     Who would have thought that Barstool Sports could win the war on terror by ourselves?   Strange but true.   God Bless America.  God Bless Barstool Sports.

VS.

Nothing like a little bathroom humor showdown to get things going on a Monday morning.   It’s the Lady Jacks Off headline vs. Who Farted (Hoof Hearted) horse race.   Unfortunately for the Lady Jacks I don’t even think this one is close.    You just can’t compete vs. a guy screaming Who Farted down the stretch.    Plus I’m not sure the people in Northern Arizona even think the Lady Jack Off headline is funny.   I mean people had to notice that before it went to print and didn’t think twice about it.    Winner – Hoof Hearted.    Vote 1 for Lady Jack Offs.  Vote 10 for Hoof Hearted

What the fuck was the Mariner Moose thinking yesterday?    He tried to assassinate Coco Crisp and then act like nothing happened.   Listen, Moose don’t pull that confused look on me like you don’t know what just happened.   You know exactly what you did.   You saw Crisp coming out of the dugout and you made a run at him.   Do you even think the Moose has a license for that ATV?   Last time I saw him he couldn’t handle roller skates.  All I can say is that he is lucky Coco Crisp was a good sport about the whole thing and didn’t get injured.   Because John Farrell is just looking for an excuse to kick somebody’s ass.

Much more of Summer here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com