Random Thoughts

So if you were me how much would you charge Bud for the first photo?  I mean does it get any better than that for them?   You can’t buy this type of publicity.    And who says Manny doesn’t have fun at the All Star game?    Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall for a Manny and Hideki Okajima conversation?    Manny is just strange enough where he probably somehow speaks fluent Japanese.

As a side note I feel like if Papelbon lost a big hand in poker he may punch you in the face.  Especially since he’s still making peanuts relatively speaking.

Finally these photos just prove that there are Stoolies everywhere.  Nobody is safe.  Not even the Red Sox on their private charter to the all star game.  Thanks to Jeff for sending us these shots.  These pics are worthy of a free Barstool Hat.   If we can continue to get more stuff like this we’ll be a world power in no time so keep it coming! 

Just like with all great celebrities there are conflicting reports on whether Mr. Butch is dead or alive. Personally I'm sticking with dead because our source claims to have overheard a police conversation at Marty's Liquors. And while we're still discussing Mr. Butch here is another question to ponder. Is this really him in the above picture? Somebody sent it to us, but that doesn't look like Boston does it?

UB is not a fan of the ESPY Awards. Maybe it's the idea of giving awards to athletes who already compete for championships, or maybe it's because ESPN couldn't come up with a better name than ESPY for the award show...Either way, the show was filmed last night. If there is a silver lining to a show that was hosted by LeBron James, maybe it's that it gives us guys the chance to see some of the more attractive female athletes all dolled up. Of course, some should never try and dress up, because when they do you get Not Safe For Anyone moments like the exposed nipple of Venus Williams. It has not been confirmed that the exposed privates are the reason for Dan Patrick's announced departure from ESPN for some syndicated gig, but you have to believe that he will try to get that Perfect Show in before he signs off on Aug. 17th. Remember when he had that near miss a few seasons back:

Though the Awards show doesn't air until Sunday, you gotta hope that there are some better performances than this weak ass fight outside the joint. Check out the douchebag in the tan shirt. After some shoving he delivers the slowest KO punch in the history of street fights. He then follows that up with some slaps and chest-shoving...

Anyway, here's a few athletes and stars at the ESPY Awards:

Danica Patrick

Jamie-Lynn Sigler (for some reason)

Maria Sharapova

Carmen Electra and Kendra Wilkinson

Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn and his girlfriend Brooke

This is a Stool exclusive.  Mr. Butch is dead.    Yup, he died in a freak Vespa accident earlier today.   Apparently he drove his Vespa into a telephone pole or something to that effect.  This is not a joke.   We have an inside source who phoned this into us earlier today.   What Mr. Butch was doing on a Vespa I’ll never know?    This may be a future featured episode on Unsolved Mysteries.  Who gave Mr. Butch the Vespa?    Regardless it’s a sad day in Boston.   So do me a favor when you’re drinking tonight and tip a 40 for Mr. Butch.  And if you're in the mood to cry turn on some Tracy Chapman and visit the www.mrbutchshow.com

As a tribute to Mr. Butch please send us your best Mr. Butch story to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

PS - If our source was wrong about this I will kill her...

Okay, now these photos have been out there for a couple of days now, but yesterday UB was more useless than a ticket taker at a Jerry Thornton comedy show. Therefore, UB presents these perky puppies to Stoolsville today. Miss Hogan doesn't really do too much for me, since all that face needs is the blond fu manchu 'stache and suddenly it's the Hulkster. That being said, she does appear to have increased her bust size in recent months:

1 for real, 10 for fake

(Thanks to Sparkylylefan for pix)

This may be my favorite video we’ve ever posted on the Stool..  I almost cried when it was over.   It was that good.    I really don’t know what I can say about it either.  I mean how do you sum up something that was so brilliant from beginning to end?  Even Shakespeare couldn’t do this thing justice.    In fact it was so great that I almost thought it was fake half way through it.    I’m hesitant to say what my favorite parts were because I’m sure I’m going to leave out a ton of stuff, but I’ll give it the college try.

The opening scene

The opening scene is perfect.  Nothing grabs attention like Fbombs and a coach beating the living shit out of his players wondering why they’re not working in the locker room.   And if you pay really close attention there is one player hiding behind the lockers dressed in a wife beater and helmet.  You can’t make that shit up.   Also I like the kid who gets pummeled on the far left.   He saw it coming a million miles away and braced his head against the wall.

They Stole Our Clicker

The moment I realized this video was truly special was when the coach started talking about how the other team broke into their living room and stole the clicker and had the balls to turn the channel.   All while their momma is sitting in the stands. 

Tdiddy silk screen His Own Tshirts

Don’t know why, just thought this was funny.

Brawl between Tdiddy and Coach

I mean you just don’t see a full out brawl between the head coach and the star player everyday of the week.   But Tdiddy left the head coach no choice.  You can’t keep daring an assistant to drop kick you without the head coach getting involved.   Kudos to the assistant though for telling people not to break up the fight.  Way to step up.

Gardening Gloves

Why is the coach wearing gardening gloves in the final scene?  I’ll think about giving a free Barstool hat to whoever can explain it to me.

P.S. -If you want to read the backstory on Year of the Bull here it is. I think it's safe to say that TDiddy is not a Baller for Life.

Thanks to eazy e for the link

So I think I almost got myself beaten up at our Barstool Beach Party the other night.   In a nutshell here is what happened.   My sister was at the party and came up to me as she was leaving and said she met “Broke Angry Black Man” from the blog.   Now for all you Barstool rookies out there, basically we have a section where people can leave comments, but you need to create a log in name to use the system.   There is one guy who has been reading us forever and goes by the name of “Broke Angry Black".

So anyway my sister said that he was at the party and pointed him out to me as she was leaving.    She described him as the tall black guy who was wearing a straw hat.   Now for anybody who was at the party we had a pretty typical racial breakdown for Boston.  92% white people 8% black people.   In other words there weren’t a ton of tall black dudes wandering around in straw hats.   Therefore when I saw a guy matching my sister’s exact description walking around I just assumed it was Broke Angry Black Man.   So I sauntered over to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said “Broke Angry Black Man.”  Small problem- it wasn’t him.   

Now I’m no expert on racial relations, but I’m pretty sure that 5”10” white men don’t go up to strange black men and call them Broke Angry Black Man out of the blue.    Thankfully this guy didn’t pummel me into the ground because it would have been real embarrassing to get beat up at my own party.   I guess the moral of the story is don’t go up to strange black guys and call them Broke Angry Black Man unless your at least 87% sure it’s the real Broke Angry Black Man. Luckily this story has a happy ending.   I didn’t die. 

The Miss New Jersey photos are out and, sad to say they are pretty lame. Amy Polumbo released the photos this morning, to try and remove any power from her "blackmailers." Something smells fishy here, and it's not from the shot with her legs spread. Wouldn't it make perfect sense for a beauty pageant queen, in today's society, to fake a photo scandal only to release tame shots that are not anywhere near the hijinks Stoolies are used to from the girls at Barstool parties? If this is really all that she had to worry about being released then this might be the biggest non story of the week. (Today Show interview with photos here)

"It's not in a lady-like manner," Polumbo said on the Today show. "But I am not a robot. I am human being." Of the blackmail incident, she added: "I feel sick to my stomach."

This story has almost given me a heart attack like 20 times already.  Every time I see this headline I keeping thinking Larry Bird died.   Also, maybe I’m an idiot but I had no idea who Lady Bird was to begin with.  Apparently her full name is Lady Bird Johnson and she’s the former First Lady, blah, blah, blah.      Bottom line is that it’s shoddy journalism to trick people into thinking Larry Legend died.   If anybody pulled this shit at the Stool I’d fire them so fast they wouldn’t even know what happened.   

More Alley here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com