Random Thoughts

I actually wasn’t going to post this video because I didn’t think it was that funny.  That was until Brady Quinn and Ryan Tucker started texting in the middle of the performance.  What kind of shit is that?    I don’t think I’ve seen that before.  Talk about a slap in the face.   If you’re Poison you need to kick these guys off stage the second they take out their cell phones.    There is no texting in rock and roll.   

Thanks to sportscrack.com for sending us the link. PS - Those guys said they are fans of the Stool so buy a shirt from them or something.

Whoa.

So I'm talking to this guy the other night (not guy in pic) and he says to me, "Yeah, I went out again last night... I've been on 'a bender' since last Thursday." Now this was on a Wednesday, so by my count that's only 6 nights in a row, and I'm still not sold the guy was truly on a bender.

I mean you can't just go around saying you're on a bender when you're not on a bender. My Buddy Who Went on a Bender After His Girlfriend Broke Up With Him drank every night till he puked for 58 straight days. And the reason I remember the number is because we made a big deal when he passed Joe D. Now that, to me, is a bender.

Anyway, time to ask America's 2nd source for information after Wikipedia - The Barstool Sports Blog.

Unfortunately our ratings system only goes up to 10, so I'd like to hear from readers on how many days an actual bender consists of. I always thought it had to be at least the same amount of time as the NCAA Tournament (3 weeks) because gambling benders count too.

EDIT: We're using the ratings system. Vote 1-10 based on the number of WEEKS you can consider to be 'a bender'.

EBAY.com - You are bidding on a 1 year contract for a personal assistant (PA)Please include what you are looking for in a personal assistant.  My name is David J. Owen, I am currently a Food and Beverage Supervisor for a large hotel chain in Greenville, SC.  I have 10 years hospitality experience, and 1 year experience as a PA( See resume below).  The reason I am not currently employed as a PA is because my previous employer moved to California.I currently reside in Greenville, SC.  I am willing to relocate to any location in SC, southern NC, parts of TN, and most of GA.  All other inquires will still be taken seriously, but must be on a temporary basis, or be willing to offer a larger sign-on-bonus.

If you are interested in any of the following please do NOT apply; your bids/inquiries will be deleted:
1)Sexual "Favors"
2)Or any sexual conduct of any kind
3)Criminal acts including the harassments of individuals
3)Any work that may require licensing from state of residence, unless willing to pay for state certification
4)Any work provided outside the hours of 8am-7pm without "additional compensation", lists will be fair amounts included in contract.
5)Taking care of invalids or other elderly people that may not be able to care for themselves, unless on a temporary basis

Dear Mr Owen,

I’m not going to bullshit you.   I’m interested.   I am the CEO of a major metropolitan newspaper in Boston.   I know you said you didn’t want to move, but I think I can make it worth your while with a handsome signing bonus.    Rest assured your job description will not include “sexual favors” or dealing with old people.   Old people are for suckers and frankly we have no time for them here at Barstool Sports. Instead I will be counting on you to drive my Astrovan and do my paper route.  You will also be in charge of paying all my parking violations on time.   Finally and maybe most important I want you to find out who is fucking with my news racks around North Station.  There is some hippy who keeps vandalizing our racks in that area and I want to catch them in the act.  This may require you to camp out all night outside North Station, but I’ll pay for the overtime.   When you catch the person I want you to kneecap them so they can never walk again.   And no I don't consider this a criminal act. This is simply frontier justice. If this sounds like something you can handle, I’d love to bring you aboard.   And frankly $150,000 seems like a bargain.   The only request I make is that you burn that shirt that you are wearing in this photo.    I’m assuming it is a joke because I can’t fathom why you’d pick this particular shirt of all shirts to highlight yourself in.    If this shirt is not a joke I’m afraid the deal is off because you’re clearly nuts.

Best Regards,

El Pres

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LATimes.com - Former UCLA men’s basketball coach Steve Lavin is scheduled to marry Mary Jarou on August 17 at the elegant Montage Resort & Spa in Laguna Beach. Then comes today’s e-mail to his wedding guests, verified by an invitee who received it:

"Update from the Jarou/Lavin wedding headquarters in Newport Beach. "Unexpectedly we have received a stunning 95% RSVP on sent out wedding invitations. As a result, our wedding guest list has far exceeded the maximum capacity for a traditional ceremony and reception at The Montage Resort."After giving serious consideration to alternative plans we have decided the best option at this late stage is to head to Europe to create a magical wedding day."Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconveniences this change in our wedding plans may have caused you."We are sorry that we will not be able to share our big day with family and friends. We will be sure to send you photos of our wedding upon our return from Europe.

" Please confirm that you received this email.

"Thanks in advance for your understanding.

"Warm regards,
Steve & Mary"

As a rule I generally hate guys who I consider greasy used car salesman.    But Steve Lavin is the exception that proves the rule.   I love Lavin.    Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could bowl him, but I just can’t get enough of the guy.   For some reason he always cracks me up.   And this story just strikes me as Steve Lavin 101.    “A stunning 95% RSVP rate.”    It’s almost like he’s bragging and apologizing at the same time.    And you got to love how he tries to smooth it over by saying he’ll send photos to everybody.      Umm, not sure that’s going to cover the cost of the plane ticket that everybody already bought, but whatever.  

And then the coup de grace is the “Please confirm that you received this email.”      In other words, don’t blame us if you show up and we’re not here.

Only Steve Lavin could get away with a stunt like this.

On a totally unrelated note, what is the protocol on wedding invitations?   How many people do you invite and how many do you expect?  If a 95% RSVP rate is stunning, what is normal?

Kudos to Boi from troy for finding this

These videos are gold on days after we have a major party. No writing. No thinking. Just good clean fun.

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