Random Thoughts

TACOMA, Wash. -- A Pierce County woman apparently tied a record for the amount of alcohol in her blood when the Washington State Patrol toxicology lab measured a blood-alcohol content of 0.50 two hours after she was arrested for investigation of drunken driving.

Ann Marie Gordon, manager of the lab in Seattle, said the reading -- more than six times the legal limit of 0.08 -- tied the highest level ever found by technicians at the patrol's lab. A King County driver also registered 0.50 on a blood test in 2000.

"It certainly would kill many people", she said.

0.50.... 0.50! The woman in the picture didn't even hit that.

If you keep reading the article it points out the woman was 45... of course she was a coug. I could've told you that just by reading the headline. I mean it's obvious what happened here... the woman was driving around in her Subaru wagon cranking "Magic Man" out the windows after having a few pops at the local tavern. But 0.50 is still ridiculous.. it must have been the live version. It's just too bad she couldn't have had that "one last beer" to break the record.

And as a side note, last Saturday afternoon at an Irish bar down in Newport I personally witnessed a cougar pound 2 shots of Goldschlagger during what she claimed was her half-hour break from work. It was impressive to say the least. She also claimed to have been an ex-Patriot cheerleader.... in 1985.

Hey if you have nothing to do tonight feel free to swing by Daisy Buchanan's for the Meet the Model promo where you can meet last week's cover girl who is an absolute smoke show. But if you're a weird creepy stalker dude, I'd prefer you not show up.

TMZ - - Former "OC" star Mischa Barton is going lesbian (again) for her new movie, and this is the girl she's going to be locking lips with. Line forms to the left! Shantel VanSanten is a former contestant on the short-lived NBC reality show "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search." Shantel was one of the first contestants eliminated, but she seems to have landed on her feet. The film tells the story of two girls who meet at a t.A.T.u concert (Remember them? The faux-lesbian Russian band?) and fall in love. Nudity ensues. Sounds like something Vivid would produce.

Introducing Shantel:

Mischa, you've met:

How can anyone not be a Mischa Barton fan at this point? She's like a pay-for-gay star. Everything she does has some sort of lesbian plot. Of course most of her previous work has been limited to kissing, so we can only hope she steps it up a notch or two this time around. As for her selection for co-star this time around we have Shantel VanSanten, a former Sports Illustrated model search contestant whose previous film credits include "Savage Spirit" and "Three Wise Guys." Look at her photo above, she seems more than qualified. There has to be some disappointment that both chicks are on the flat side, but we'll take what we can get...

Check out Shantel's Model Page on SI.com (On site, click on her below)

(Thanks to Matt for the link)

Listen everybody knows Misty May's ass single-handedly saved NBC in the 2004 Olympics. Quick, tell me one other thing (besides Kerri Walsh) you remember about the Athens' Summer Games...? See? She had the porn star name to go along with it, too. In fact, one letter off on her first name, and you have a porn star. (Google it yourself) The bottom line is that asses, ironically, are what put asses in the seats now a days. In the 80's, it used to be breasts, but not so much anymore... at least in the world of Pro/Olympic Beach Volleyball. Look out next summer, Beijing hasn't seen asses like these since Confucius was hustling the locals in strip, rock-paper-scissors.

Boston.com - ATLANTA --Contrary to popular opinion, men are more likely to look at a female's face before other areas when looking at pictures of naked women, according to a study by Emory University researchers.

Chalk this one up as another totally useless study.  I mean did we really need Emory University to tell us that the face matters?  I mean you don’t see UB posting pictures of chicks with disgusting faces and hot bodies do you?   Everybody knows that the body doesn’t mean shit if you have an ugly head attached.   It’s like having a great running back with no offensive line.  It doesn’t matter.   Anyway, this brings up an interesting question.  If you had to assign a percentage value to the importance of a chick’s body parts how would you do it?  I included my breakdown below.  I'm guessing if you follow my formula you end up with Kristin Kreuk. Any yes this is required reading for all the millions of female Stoolies out there who want to steal me away from the First Lady.   (Just kidding in case she’s reading)

Face – 40%

Legs – 10%

Ass – 20%

Boobs - 10%

Stomach/Weight – 20%

Reader Email

I was just curious to see if you were keeping watch of all the publicity the 6 house has been getting. It is so unfair the way the city has been treating this incident. Obviously I couldn’t begin to express my deepest sympathies to the family of Adam Rich. My every prayer is extended to this family. However, I have been working at The 6 House for the past 3 years and I could not be more disgraced with this negative image that has been associated with them. It could of and has happened at other places and they are still open. The news has been linking us to the old triple o's and whitey bulger, which is ridiculous.   I fully understand the pessimistic past of the bar that existed before The 6 House opened. Not once have I or any customer ever felt unsafe while being in The 6 House. The only similarity between Triple O’s and The 6 House is the location. The illegal behavior associated with Triple O’s dissolved when the building went down. We need to focus on the people responsible for this ruthless act rather than The 6 House. This is so unfair how the city of Boston has been treating this incident.

Barbara

Now in the interest of full disclosure let me just say that I'm obviously friends with Barbara and she's hot so whatever she says goes.

But having said that, I totally agree with her. Now I'm not from Southie, but I had no clue about the history of the 6House. And to be honest I'm not sure how the history of the place had anything to do with what happened there a few days ago. I've been in there plenty of times and never noticed it to be a dangerous place in the least. Shit happens. A dude got shot in the parking lot of Waterworks a few weeks ago. People get shot in the theater district like every other week. Facts are there are asshole scumbags who go out at night in Boston. The damage has probably already been done to the 6House with all this negative publicity, but blaming them for what happened is like blaming Suffolk Downs when your horse comes in last.

(I apologize in advance for that last analogy. I was stuck for 20 minutes trying to think of something and just drew a blank. It may be my lowest moment in the history of the Stool)

Boston College head coach Jeff Jagodzinski pulled off a first year recruiting coup with the signing of Josh Haden, Rivals.com's 10th ranked running back in the Class of 2008. Haden picked the Heights over Florida which is, well, to be honest, it's really, really surprising. It's not everyday that a big-time recruit snubs the defending National Champions to play at BC. And if I was a Superfan, I would be very, very excited for the Jags era.

Haden said that BC's more traditional one back offense was a big factor in his decision, particularly when compared to Urban Meyer's everyone-and-their-mother-gets-to-run-the-ball offense. And he also credited BC with some kickass text messaging recruiting:

"They always came after me hard," said the 5-foot-8, 191-pounder. "A lot of other schools offered and recruited me, but not as hard as BC did. Coach Day was always texting me and we built up a good relationship. And they had other coaches text me as well - coach Sirmans, coach Logan, coach Jags, everyone. They never seemed to doubt they would have a chance."

And to think that El Presidente doubted the BC staff's text messaging recruiting strategy.

(Here is a better video. Unless you're a big fan of random blobs of color that may or may not be human beings. If that's the case, the YouTube video is for you.)

Globe - - A measure by Stephen J. Murphy proposes that the city require -- or at least encourage -- bars to make available thin plastic membranes, about the size of a coaster, that are designed to seal the mouth of a glass. The aim is to deter predators looking to put drugs into the drinks of intended victims. Proponents add that the devices also prevent spills during nightclub dancing.

Another day, another proposed bar law. Another day, another proposed bar law. UB has really had enough. This one is just silly...A lid for my drink? "Thin plastic membranes?" Is Stephen Murphy insane?

First of all the possibility of getting roofied is just part of the deal when going to a bar. It's like taking away peanuts at a baseball game. You just can't do it.

Also imagine the arrogance of the chicks who choose to use a lid on their cup?Basically what they're saying is that they think they're so hot that you have no chance to hook up with them unless you roofie them. I think that's being a little presumptuous don't you? The good news is that you'll know what chicks have low self esteem by those who choose not to protect their drink. It should be like taking candy from a baby at that point.

UB would love this clip to be real, but he's gotta call bullshit on this one. How would the audio be so clear on a surveillance cam, unless the guy had a mic to record his own rants then got the tape later. That being said, if the hotel was in on this, what hotel is out there going, "Sure we'll let you use our lobby to film a video that will be passed around on blogs..."

(Thanks to Mr. Happy Go Lucky for the clip)

I really wish I posted this random thought before the Rockies took two in a row from the Yankees because now it looks like I’m caught in a fad.  But I’ve been telling anybody who will listen to me for the past 3 weeks that the Rocks are going to win the National League this year.   Yes, I bet them both nights against the Yankees and took them in the series and I’m taking them again today.  But the real value is in the future odds.  I haven’t had a pick like this since I told people to take Washington in college hoops before the season started.  Right now Colorado is 30-1 to win the National League.  That’s crazy talk!    I’m telling you right now they are the best team in the NL.    All the people in the Red Sox front office that read the Stool are silently nodding their head in agreement as they read this.  Colorado’s pitching is much better than in years past and they have a good bullpen and a nasty closer.   If you like money than do yourself a favor and bet on Colorado to win the National League right now.   This is your reward for reading the Stool.   You won’t find these types of hot tips anywhere else in the world.  And then once they win it, feel free to buy a couple of Barstool Hats.   You heard it hear first.  Colorado Rockies are your 2007 National League Champs.

Post Chronicle - - 'Sensational' Sherri Martel, a WWE Hall of Famer, was found dead on Friday, June 15th, at her mother's home in Birmingham, Alabama, according to her husband of ten years, Robert Schrull.  Sherri was only 49 years old. In the early 1980's, Sherri began her career in the AWA.  In 1985, she defeated Candi Devine to become the AWA Women's Champion.  Over the next year, the rivalry between the two continued, with the championship bouncing back and forth on several occasions.

Damn, down goes another. Sherri Martel has become the latest former wrestling star to die young, joining Miss Elizabeth as one of the most high profile female performers of all time to die over the last few years. Now that UB has observed the week of mourning, he can now look back at the contribution that Sherri made to sports entertainment. First off, during the WWF's highest point of "family" wrestling entertainment, Sherri was running around with her massive cleavage, wearing thongs and garter-belts in a body that really had no business wearing them. She never had the looks of an Elizabeth or the body of a Sable, which made her the perfect bad guy manager. She would be picked up for a suplex, her skirt would drop and fans would cringe, hoping not to see too much. She linked up with Randy Savage after his Wrestlemania V turn and even managed Ric Flair in the mid 90s WCW. She was an accomplished female wrestler, but will always be remembered for her screeching interviews, big hair and being the only woman that fans didn't mind getting her ass kicked by Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, or whomever.

Details of her death are sketchy at this point...

“I’m a little bit nervous.  I don’t want to draw too much attention to myself because I know girls are very catty and jealous.”

- Trishelle from Real World Vegas Reunion last night after the entire house got an invitation to the premiere party for the movie Ninja Cheerleaders which she is in.

Umm, Trishelle I hate to break it to you but we’re not talking about Citizen Kane here.  It’s Ninja Cheerleaders.  I’m pretty sure the other castmates will be able to handle it.

Bostonherald.com - Urban mechanic Mayor Thomas Menino has turned urban plumber, demanding that parks workers get city fountains and spray pools working after Herald spot-checks found them bone-dry and rusted.

 Proclaiming himself a “nut for fountains,” the mayor told parks officials he wants water flowing to the facilities by next Wednesday.

Hmm, who knew Menino was a "nut for fountains"?Got to love how this has become the #1 priority in Boston. People are getting stabbed to death at the 6House and all the Mayor cares about is getting the fountains flowing by sundown.  The good news is that maybe this will take his mind off my newsracks for a couple weeks.   

This appears to be a normal plane landing until right before it touches down, feet above the heads of beach-goers. The runway is located in St.Maarten. Imagine you are on vacation, staying at that hotel in the distance. You decide to take a nice walk on the beach with your girl, when WOOOOOOSH this fucking 747 nearly takes your head off...

CNNSI.com - Within the confines of a large white tent set up beside the Playboy Mansion's pool and a stone's throw from the infamous grotto, 200 prospective draft picks sat looking at the stage and the six general managers of the original franchises (Chicago, Dallas, Carolina, Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York) The league wasted little time burning new ground during the draft as Kat Hunter, the lone female GM, selected Vanessa Arteaga, a 20-year-old female from Modesta, Calif., to the San Francisco Optx with the first overall pick in the draft. Much like the other 60 players drafted, Arteaga will earn a base salary of $30,000 with the possibility of earning up over $100,000 at the end of the two-month season with incentives and bonuses. Counter-Strike: Source, Dead or Alive 4, Project Gotham Racing 3 or FIFA 07, the four titles that will be used during the league's first season.

Man was I born too late or what?   As much as I hate to brag, I was clearly the Michael Jordan of video games for our generation.  If you’re between the ages of 25-35 you probably heard about me and you didn’t even know it.   I was like Kaiser Sose from the Usual Suspects.  People didn’t even know whether I was real or not.  But when you heard the Final Countdown soundtrack blare over the boom box you knew your time had come.  It didn’t matter whether we were playing Tecmo Bowl, NHL or Baseball Stars, I was pretty much lights out.    You didn’t try and beat me you just tried to survive.     But I’m 8 years removed from my glory days now.  Hell I don’t even recognize any of the games on the video game circuit except FIFA.  Not to mention the fact it seems pretty ridiculous that any pro video league would include any non sports games.   And what kind of statement is it about today’s youth that a chick was the first pick in a video game draft?  Sure she looks like a movie star, but the world of video games in no place for pretty faces.   These new kids nowadays are so soft it makes me sick.   Unless this chick is giving head to the team owner, it's a disgrace that she's the best video game player in the world. Bottom line, you give me a month of training and I bet I could beat any of these punks in any sports game of their choice.   And that includes the hot chick. I'll even bet sexual favors on it.

Got to love those crazy Germans. I think the Fanny Pack probably saved this guys life.

Boston.com - Relentless undertows, stinging jellyfish -- the beach can be a dangerous place. Now a Harvard medical resident wants sunbathers to pay attention to yet another threat: collapsing sand holes that he says have killed dozens of young people in the past two decades, several of them in New England. The victim, usually a boy, remains submerged for several minutes as bystanders panic and rescuers, afraid to use a shovel because they might hit the person, struggle to reach them by hand.

Now I’m not a monster.  I don’t like making fun of people dying and shit like that.   But sorry if I’m not shaking in my boots about getting killed in a freak sand castle accident.  Yeah, I know males are more susceptible to this disease, but I refuse to be intimidated.   Bottomline is I’m not changing my beach behavior for anything or anybody.   If that means I die by falling into a former sand castle hole than so be it.  You live by the sword you die by the sword.

See much more of Julianne here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com