So today was the annual Briar Group Golf Tournament at Sandy Burr Golf Club in Wayland.   Not only was El Presidente playing in it, but Miller Chill had me book a couple Barstool Girls to hand out beer at the 5^th hole.   The tournament started at 8:30am.   So yesterday I left messages to all the girls just reminding them that they had to be at the golf course at 8:15.   Well I woke up this morning to find out that one of the girls left me the following text message at 1am in the morning;

“At ER w boyfriend – don’t think I’m going to make it tomorrow.”

So here is my question.  How do you respond to somebody when you know they are lying to you?  I mean the ER excuse is obviously fake right?  You might as well be spitting in my eyeball when you don’t even take the time to make up a good lie.   Now based on this information, would I be within my rights just to come out and accuse her of lying?  Or do I have to keep my mouth shut on the 1% chance that she is telling the truth.   For the record, this is how I responded to the girl.  

“Just as a heads up you make me look like a total asshole when you cancel on me this late”

I didn’t feel great about my response.  I don’t think it announced my presence with authority.  In fact, I’m not even sure she’ll realize that my message was code for “I know you’re lying to me”  Or does she already know that I know her excuse is bullshit and she just doesn’t care?   Either way how do you deal with lame ass excuses like my grandmother died and shit like that?  I mean do you have to respect the 1% chance that a lame ass excuse could be real? Or can you just call a spade a spade and rip that person a new asshole?

Random Simpson Reference:

Homer:  Well, the evening began at the Gentleman's Club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully:  Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.
Homer:  We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard.  Ya happy?