God's chosen people have a chosen team- the Red Sox.

In the newest edition of American Jewish Life, Bradford R. Pilcher breaks down why any self-respecting Jew should turn against the Yankees and root for the Red Sox. Pilcher claims that four of the five seminal Jewish baseball moments involve the Red Sox. Only one involves the Yankees which ipso facto means that the Yankees are antiSemitic.

What are the five most important Jewish baseball moments? Shul is in session-

1. Sandy Koufax's refusal to pitch on Yom Kippur
2. Ron Bloomberg of the Yankees becomes the first major leaguer to play as a DH
3. Former Red Sox catcher Moe Berg goes on the radio and is funny
4. The Red Sox field a lineup with three Jewish players- Gabe Kapler, Adam Stern and Kevin Youkilis
5. Denis Leary and Lenny Clarke make fun of Mel Gibson on NESN

Yup, Jewish baseball history. From Sandy Koufax taking a pass on the Day of Atonement to Lenny Clarke making Jerry Remy cough up some of the black tar lodged in his lungs. Jewish baseball fever- catch it!

But Pilcher doesn't simply view the Red Sox as more worthy of Hebrew hearts. He also sees a sinister, decades-long pattern of the Yankees organization screwing over Jewish ballplayers. Like that bastard Lou Gehrig who took an All Star slot from Hank Greenberg. An innocuous slight? Hardly as Pilcher points out:

I’m not going to say a bad thing about Lou Gehrig. The man’s death was a tragedy. But his full name was Ludwig Heinrich Gehrig. He’s not a National Socialist, but it’s not the last time a Jew got the short end from a guy named Heinrich. I’m just saying.

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times- the Yankees are a murderous band of neoNazis bent on world domination and the destruction of Israel. It's clear as day people. Thank G-d that righteous gentiles like Denis Leary and Lenny Clarke are around to battle the pinstriped forces of evil.