If I was a catty gay guy, and despite knowing the lyrics to Defying Gravity, I'm 99.8% sure that I'm not, I would probably refer to Beth Ditto as a "fat slob that needs to shave her pits and stop soaking her Big Mac's in lard." But since I'm an enlightened heterosexual male and appreciate that all women, regardless of size or personal hygiene, are goddesses, I would never sink to the gays' shameful level.

According to Beth, who stands a Puckett-esque 5 feet and 210 pounds- that's 210 pounds of jaw-dropping, sultry femininity, the reason that women feel self-conscious about their bodies is because of all the gay guys in the fashion industry.

"If there's anyone to blame for size zero, it's not women. Blame gay men who work in the fashion industry and want these women as dolls," Beth said in the newest issue of NME.

Sing it, sister!

It's about time that gay men took responsibility for their long history of objectifying women. Here at Barstool Sports, we celebrate all women, be it the skinny girls with big boobs or the really skinny girls with really big boobs. We're FeminYsts with a capital FY for "Fuck yeah, we're feminysts!"

So, if you're a parent and your daughter is reading Pink Is The New Blog or those women-hating gays in the Weekly Dig or listening to Elton John or watching Top Gun, do the right thing. Don't expose your daughter to the harmful effects of the gays. Give her a Hustler or Playboy. Let her watch some Cinemax. Expose her to confidence-building role models like Jenna Jameson and Hugh Hefner.

The gays are after your impressionable daughter. Save her before she becomes all toned and healthy.