Random Thoughts

Young Vanna White is arguably the hottest chick I've ever seen in my life. Trust me when I say this video and picture do her no justice. I just watched the clip on ET and almost passed out when Vanna came rushing down to contestants row. I literally got light headed. And in case your wondering Vanna never made it out of the first round so people got to stare at her all show long.

As a side note, I guess this dispels my theory that the Price is Right picks who the names out of a giant hat.

Maybe cancer is overrated?

I’m curious over here – are Red Sox fans rooting for the Pistons?  

Not because of the riots that’ll break out all over Detroit if they blow this series, but I feel like if you’re a Red Sox fan with no gambling interest, there’s no way you want Chicago coming back from down 0-3.  Not that it would take away from the great Red Sox comeback of ‘04, but wouldn’t you rather keep this distinction to as a few teams as possible? 

I would think the answer is “yes”, because if the Bulls do it, then maybe the Sabres can, then the next thing you know, everybody and their uncle is coming back from down 0-3 and it just doesn't seem that special. 

I mean as everybody knows, right now there are only 3 teams in the history of professional sports to accomplish such a feat – the always entertaining 1942 Toronto Maple Leafs, the ’75 Islanders, and the ’04 Red Sox.  I couldn't make it to the first two, but I personally witnessed the most recent of those game 7's and trust me, it wasn't pretty seeing that fat slob Kevin Millar celebrate on the same mound where Andy Hawkins once threw his patented hanging slider.

I don’t even know what to say about this; I’m still kind of in shock.  Last night at an undisclosed cheesy Boston bar, I saw a man dressed up in none other than a Bam Bam Bigelow jersey.  At first I thought it was just me who noticed, but within 5 minutes it seemed like all the entire bar was talking about was “the dude in the Bigelow jersey”. Even more shocking - he was with a chick.  Who was kind of hot.

But why was the fuck was he wearing the jersey?  The only thing I could come up with was that Bigelow died over the winter and this guy was paying some kind of tribute to the man whose finishing move was the “Greetings from Asbury Park”.  But could that really be it?  Listen, I’ve never claimed to be any type of fashion expert, but I can’t possibly imagine the Bam Bam Bigelow “Fire Jersey” making a comeback here in the summer of '07.  Although granted, this wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong.

We've already posted this before, but we can't let Bob Barkers final primetime special tonight go by without at least throwing the old dog a bone.

Is Aki Hoshino better than Julian Tavarez?

Who gives a shit.

The Red Sox bigwigs love making money, love crazy promotions and love having a presence in Japan. Why not suit up Aki Hoshino for a game or two? Japanese media would eat it up. The Sox could sell Hoshino jerseys and sports bras. The Patriots could trade Tom Brady for Bruce Gradkowski and the story would be buried on page 5.

At the very least, she should throw out the first pitch. Fenway would be packed an hour before the game. It's a no-brainer, Steinberg. Make it happen.

Lots of hints in this one. I feel like people should be able to get this one right away. Anyway the answer is.....

VANESSA MINNILLO.

And obviously she's straddling her boyfriend Nick Lachey. Vanessa Minnillo is so hot I may need kill myself. Although she does look like she has a little Eva Longoria going on without makeup...

Photo from from Fanhaus.com

MSNBC - A man caught removing tires from a truck has been charged with stealing the tractor-trailer containing $250,000 worth of Skittles, police said.

Seven pallets of the 28 in the truck are still missing, authorities said. Alan Chavez, 22, has been charged with first-degree felony theft. It was unclear Monday whether he had a lawyer.

Chavez said he had paid someone else $500 for the truck’s rims and tires, police said. The truck has an estimated value of $85,000, and the trailer’s value is $30,000.

I’m totally confused by this story.  How can the skittles be worth double the price of a tractor trailer?  I mean how much does a pack of skittles cost to make?  10 cents?  According to my math, that means there were like a bazillion packs of skittles in the truck.  And who do you sell the skittles to once you steal them?  Is there a black market for skittles that I don’t know about?   I mean even if this guy owned his own candy store he’d have to kidnap an entire neighborhood of kids and force them to buy only skittles for like 4 years straight to come close to reaching 250,000 grand.   Unless he marked them up to 20 bucks a pack, but what kid can afford that?    This reminds me of the episode of the Simpsons when Homer stole the sugar truck.  In theory it’s a good idea, but in reality it just doesn’t work.

Thanks to Chris for the story.

(Thanks to Bon for posing this life altering question)

America's favorite petite punk rocker is on the cover of Blender Magazine (does anyone read Blender?) along with a poorly placed banner. Check out the rest of the spread here...Also there is a bonus candid below...Can't quite make out who she's getting the rectal exam from, though it looks like Jerry Thornton...

Peyton Manning and his wife Ashley are all dressed up for something or other (looks like it could be the White House except for the grade school classroom floors). Anyway, this gives us a good shot of Mrs. Manning in action...Personally, UB would give her a 6, maybe 6.5 as the bottom candid shows she is pretty hot even when not dolled up...

I’ve been meaning to write this next random thought since the moment I watched the end of the Suns vs. Spurs in Game #4.    I’m sure everybody is well aware of what happened by now, but in a nutshell Robert Horry threw a forearm shiver at Steve Nash with time running down in the Suns dramatic come from behind victory.    The cheap shot happened right in front of the Suns bench and Amare Stoudmaire and Boris Diaw both took a few steps onto the court before being restrained by their coaches.   Now despite the fact that neither player got involved in the scuffle, both guys got suspended by the league for leaving the bench.   Robert Horry meanwhile got a two game suspension for the assault.    The end result is that the Spurs gained a huge advantage from Robert Horry taking a huge cheap shot at the Suns best player.    It’s almost like in hockey when a guy baits a superstar into a fight.

Now I understand that the NBA has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to players leaving the bench in these type situations.   And I’m sure the league is thinking what better way to send this message than by suspending Stoudmire and Diaw for the biggest game of the season when they really didn’t do anything wrong?   But this is flat out ridiculous.  At some point you need to use some common sense.    The rule already served its purpose by preventing Stoudmaire, Diaw and the rest of the Suns from getting involved in a situation where they had every right to go bonkers.  And isn’t that why the rule is there in the first place?    I don’t think you should suspend guys for reacting like human beings.   If your teammate gets clocked right in front of you it’s pretty hard just to sit there and act like nothing happened.   If anything these guys should be applauded for the fact that they were restrained quickly and efficiently.    But if you absolutely feel the need to suspend them can’t you just do it for the first game of the regular season next year?   Or even the first two or something?   Because the bottom line is if the Suns lose game 5 and go on to lose the series, the whole NBA season is a joke in my mind and you need to put an asterisk to whoever wins the championship.  

Is it weird to post photos from the  wedding album of Brady Quinn’s sister who married AJ Hawk?   The answer is probably yes and I was planning on ignoring it until I noticed the Village People photos.  Umm, I’ve never seen that before at a wedding.   And what's up with Brady Quinn and grabbing junk? Thanks to Dave for the link, I think...

So I’m doing my paper route yesterday, minding my own business when I notice a guy in Downtown Crossing take the front copy out of a news rack that I just filled two seconds beforehand and promptly throw it in the trash.   So naturally I run up behind the guy and ask him what the hell he is doing.  When I reach him and see his face I realize that he had to be 102 years old if he was a day.  I mean he was ancient.   Anyway, his age didn’t stop me from trying to get in his face and intimidate him as I kept grilling him on why he just vandalized my news rack.   I think I may have even bumped the old geezer a couple times. Finally the old dude musters all his strength and tells me that he already read that issue.  Huh?   How could this be true since I just started my paper route an hour before this incident?  He had to be lying right?  But since when did the elderly start fucking with news racks?      Something just isn’t adding up here?    Regardless, should I feel bad trying to muscle and intimidate somebody who could die at any moment?

Coach Belichick was recently on the red carpet at the Time Magazine 100 Most Influental party, giving us a better look at his new favorite reciever. You may recall her from the NCAA Basketball title game:

UB doesn't know who she is, but at least he knows that isn't his ex-wife...Getty Images :

Football coach Bill Belichick and wife attend the Time Magazine celebration of the 100 most influential people on May 8, 2007 in New York City.

Dumbasses...

If you watched the news reports about the Virginia Tech massacre and thought to yourself "What a complete tragedy. My heart goes out to all the victims and their families. Man, I can't wait to play the video game!" well, your ship has come in.

Because now you and all your buddies can play V-Tech Rampage (3 Levels of Stealth & Murder according to the creators). Because nothing says kicking back and relaxing like trying to match Seung-Hui Cho's murderous rampage from the comfort of your own home.

I'm must going to go out on a limb here and say that the creators of this game are going to hell. Maybe they had been doing some ethnic cleansing in Rwanda or Yugoslavia a few years ago and decided that heaven was a lost cause so why not do V-Tech Rampage.

The game is just creepy. I mean, the creators even used victims' real names in the open of the game. That's just f*cking heartless.

Reader Email:

I sent Dan Shaughnessy the picture that Chisholm took, except I used the title "Excellent picture that could be used in a Red Sox article" so that he would read it and I left contact info off the bottom of the email (its my work email).  So I just got off the phone after a 4 minute 48 second phone call with The Curly Haired Boyfriend himself!!!  DAN SHAUGHNESSY JUST CALLED ME, 3000 miles away, in California, because I sent him a picture of himself watching himself on TV from your website and he is not a happy camper.  He said that he was there to do a benefit for some sick kids upstairs and he just wanted to watch a segment on NESN about his new book.   He then went on to try and guilt trip me by saying that next time he would just have to tell the kids that he couldn't do it.  I think Barstool Sports just saved the lives of some sick children, keep up the good work.

PS - He flat out denied that he would ever write anything about Schilling if he ever caught Curt doing the same thing.  I smell a rat.

PPS - He called Chisholm a chickenshit for taking his picture without him knowing about it.

-Matt

First of all, let me just say this.  If I’m ever on a TV show and happen to be in a bar when the said TV show comes on, I’d push little kids and grand mothers into oncoming traffic to get close to the TV to watch it.  So I actually don’t have any problem with Shaughnessy pulling up a chair to watch himself.    Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was a funny blog and funny picture, but I can’t believe Shank has his panties in a bunch about this.  I mean everybody already knew he was full of himself anyway.  More importantly, who the hell calls back people who send them hate email?   If I did that I’d be on the phone 24/7 dealing with all the feminists and Superfan crybabies who hate my ass. I don’t have time for that type of shit.  I’ve got blogs to write. Regardless, this is a 180 from a guy who said he never heard of us 2 days ago.  I mean one second we don’t exist and the next second he’s calling Chisholm a chicken shit and saying he won’t help sick children anymore because the paparazzi (Chisholm) is stalking him with his camera phone.     Anyway, it sounds like the Stool is getting ready for a showdown, Anchorman style.  

Email #2 From Matt

Stoolies,

I did a little investigative research after my previous email and I guess his book that he was promoting is actually a non fiction book about his son, Sam Shaughnessy, and high school baseball.  I went to check Amazon to see if this was true, and this was an actual review from the website.  Here is the description of the book;

In Senior Year, Dan Shaughnessy focuses his acclaimed sports writing talents on his son’s senior year of high school, a turning point in any young life and certainly in the relationship between father and son. Using that experience, Shaughnessy circles back to his own boyhood and calls upon the many sports greats he’s known over the years—Ted Williams, Roger Clemens, Larry Bird—to capture that uniquely American rite of passage that is sports. Sam Shaughnessy was born a natural hitter and quickly ascended the ranks of youth sports. Now nicknamed the 3-2 Kid for his astonishing ability to hover between success and failure in everything he does, Sam is finally a senior, and it’s all on the line: what college to attend; how to keep his grades up and his head down until graduation; and whether or not his final high school baseball season, will end in disappointment or triumph. 

Here is the actual review on the website (You better sit down); 

"I feel bad about disliking an 18 year old kid, but man that kid was an arrogant, self-centered, and spoiled. To be honest, he really didn't seem like a very good baseball player either. A one tool player in the northeast. Not someone I would I take a chance on-let alone someone with "character issues." I think Mom and Dad in the book liked to be the "cool" parents and let the kids get away with too much. On the flip side, I know I don't know these people but I could not get past how annoying these people are."

HOLY CRAP, can you get any better than this?!?!!?!?!?  Sounds like he raised the boy in his own image.  And it’s good to know that Dad isn't the only one in the family that no one in baseball wants anything to do with.

Here is the link to the site.  Did one of you guys do this?

Ok, here is my reaction to part #2 of this email.    First of all the book review has to be from somebody who just hates Dan Shaughnessy.   But that’s not really here nor there.  More importantly I’ve never seen Sam Shaughnessy play baseball but I can guarantee that he sucks. I mean his dad clearly doesn’t have one ounce of athletic ability in his body.  There is no way his son can be any good.    Also, let’s cut the shit with the “3’-2” nickname.  Nobody calls him that.  That’s just an impossible nickname.    Clearly Shank made it up and everybody who knows his son puked when they read that.   And for anybody who thinks we shouldn’t be making fun of an 18 year old kid, my answer to that is then don’t write a book about him.    

As a side note, I can’t believe Shaughnessy wrote a book about his son’s high school baseball career and I didn’t know that.  It just seems like something I should know.

Who do you want to Wake Up to? Ub@barstoolsports.com