I try to find some reason, some little miracle to make each day worth living. Some days are harder than others. Some days, it's damn near impossible. But if you're patient, a day will come that brings you the unvarnished joy that comes in the form of a Dan Shaughnessy "Picked Up Pieces" column.

Today is such a day. Here's the tally from today's Pulitzer-worthy effort from the Curly Haired Boyfriend:

• Outdated Pop Culture References: 2 ("Evita," "Hannibal Lecter)
• Irrelevant Debate Topic No One But Dan Cares About: 4 (Roger Clemens HofF cap, ARod vs. Barry Bonds popularity, Donald Fehr's steroid policy, Manny and Ortiz pimping on HRs)
• Tired Boston-NY Comparison: 1 (Clemens' newspaper coverage)
• Specious Argument That Something Must Be Irrelevant If Dan is Ignorant of It: 1 (the Kentucky Derby)
• Shameless Promotion of Someone Dan is Friendly With: 4 (Frank Deford, Tim Kurkjian, Tony Pena, George Brett)
• Tedious Example of Living in the Past: 3 (1912 World Series, Bob Gibson, Bob Cousy)
• Admission That He Wonders Something But is Too Lazy to Go to Fenway and Get the Answer Himself: 1 (Wondering who the cop is that punches fists with Papelbon.)

So thanks to Dan, and to the Globe for making today worth living. The next time Shank's powerbook churns out this kind of lazy drivel can't come soon enough.