Last night featured possibly the best episode of "Heroes" to date. It had everything you could ask for in an hour of TV: time travel, alternate futures, violence, Hayden Panetierre past the age of consent, and that time-honored TV staple, a cop conducting an investigation by walking into a Vegas strip joint.

The good news? Ali Larter was one of the strippers. The bad news? She was wearing more clothes than she would if she were living under the Taliban. Strippers don't wear that much in Point Barrows. So I thought it might be a good idea to start the day by correcting this injustice.

(Ed. note: UB is still off. In his absence, handling his "Wake Up..." feature is an awesome, frightening responsibility. It's like Sam carrying the One Ring when Frodo was taken by the orcs. The rest of us will do the best we can, but this thing is rightfully his burden to carry.)