This Patriots offseason has gotten to the point where it's simply re-goddamn-diculous. Whoever they want, they get. They're strolling through the nightclub of NFL free agency, scoping out the one they want to hit on, pointing at them, and they simply follow them out of the club. "You're with me, Leather" and out they go into the Pats limo.

The latest pickup is Kelley Washington. Is he a superstar in the making? Not by any stretch. What I remember about him coming out of Tennessee in 2003 was that he was a bit of a curiousity; big at 6'3", but not real fast. He was projected to go anywhere from the mid first round to possibly even Day 2. He ended up going to Cincy with the first pick of the third round to give No. 1 pick Carson Palmer a big target to throw to. Since then Washington's career has been unremarkable due to mediocre numbers (22 catches in '03, 31 in '04), and injury (20 games missed in '05 and '06).

Ordinarily, Washington would be considered a consolation prize, the scraps left over after the top free agent wideouts were off the market. But the top WRs were Donte Stallworth and Wes Welker, so the Pats are feeding on their own scraps. The NFL equivalent of licking your plate clean. And to make this signing even more fun, the Dolphins were trying to sign Washington to replace Welker.

This is approaching "Embarassment of Riches" level giddiness.

Believe it or not, the talk shows continue to talk about Deion Branch like somehow trading him instead of signing him was a horrible, horrible mistake. Branch got a $7 million bonus from Seattle. His base salary last year was $2.1 mil. To sign Branch the Seahawks had to let go of All Pro guard Steve Hutchinson and WR Darrell Jackson (the same Darrell Jackson whose contract story inadvertently got Ron Borges suspended). Meanwhile, here's what the Pats 2007 signees will get:

• Adalius Thomas: $3.4 million
• Kyle Brady: $2.3 million
• Wes Welker: $1.7 million
• Sammy Morris: $1.83 million
• Stallworth: $3.6 million
• Washington: $300,000 bonus

All of which leaves the Pats $7.7 million under the cap, 13th best in the NFL. And with two first rounders. But on some level, I'm hoping they stop here. Any more of this and I'm going to have to call the doctor about treatment for a permanent erection.