Random Thoughts

When Johnny Damon walked in, UB literally said "You've got to be fucking kidding..." out loud...

NBC - A volunteer waitress and a widowed great-grandmother who tends bar at the Lake Elsinore Elks Lodge are due in court later this month after pleading not guilty to misdemeanor charges of operating an illegal gambling operation.

Margaret Hamblin, 73, and 39-year-old Cari Gardner, who donates her time as a waitress at the lodge, face up to one year in jail and a $5,000 fine for allegedly running a $50 football pool at the facility, the Press-Enterprise reported.

The charges stem from a Nov. 20 investigation by state Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control agents into an anonymous tip that lodge members bet on NFL games.

Behind the bar, the armed agents found an envelope with $5 from each of the 10 members taking part in the pool. The person who came closest to guessing the combined score of the Jacksonville Jaguars and the New York Giants was to pocket the contents, according to the Press-Enterprise.

"It was just regular 'Monday Night Football,' " said Hamblin, who has tended bar for 40 years, six of them at the lodge.”We were sitting at the bar, and the gang wanted to do something," she said, according to the newspaper.

Timothy Clark, who heads the department's Riverside district, which issued the citations, said football pools "are a violation of the law, and we will take whatever we feel is appropriate action to ensure compliance by our licensees,"

I know what everybody is thinking here.  The cops are being a little bit ridiculous right?   I mean it was a 5 dollar pool and the lady who ran this gambling ring was a 73 year old lady named Margaret.  Did they really have to raid the place?   Well I say yes!   It starts with a little Monday Night Football pool and the next thing you know she’s shaking people down at bingo and running white cards out of her retirement home.    Somebody needed to make an example out of this old bag before it was too late.   Thank god for the good people of the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control.  I don't think it's a stretch to call them heros.

Clearly the most intriguing part of this story is the person who tipped off the authorities.  This has to be the biggest loser on the face of the planet.  Sure, I’ve thought about placing an anonymous tip to the authorities about my bookie before, but I was down 20 large at the time, not 50 bucks.    As a side note, I wonder what the agents said when they found the envelope filled with cash/50 bucks?  Were they like “jackpot?”   

Wonder what was on Jerry Jones' mind when he made the decision to name the blah Wade Phillips as the head coach of the Cowboys? Had to be Wade's daughter, Tracy, a sorta model/actress. Even money says that somehow a Tracy-Jerry tryst is included in Wade's contract.

And she has to be adopted.

Thanks to Dwain.

My question with this is what kind of person came up with this idea? I mean how do you ever get this far? Oh wait the guy driving the four wheeler is wearing jean shorts? Never mind. It all kind of makes sense now.

P.S. - What state do you think this took place in? I'm guessing West Virginia 10 out of 10 times and twice on Sundays.

The videos just keep flowing from the Kim Kardashian sex video.    UB posted the NSFW trailer the other day and today there are two more clips floating around the web.    These new videos have forced me to once again consult my imaginary internet rule book to figure out whether I’m allowed to post this shit on the blog.  Here is what the rulebook says.

Section 48B – Posting porn on the blog

-“Porn can be posted directly on the blog if the chick getting drilled is a certified “A” list celebrity.  Example: Angelina Jolie, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba.

 - Porn can not be posted directly on the board if the chick getting slammed is an “F” list celebrity who nobody would know who the hell she is unless she made the porn tape in the first place.  Example:  Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian.

 EXCEPTION -  Barstool Sports reserves the right to post F List celebrity porn when the celebrity in question is an absolute smoke show.  Example – Stacey Keebler, Kristin Kreux.

* rules do not apply to UB

Ok, so there you have it.  It looks like you’ll need to click on this link to see the latest Kim Kardashian porn scenes. I wish I could have put it on the blog, but rules are rules.

He's the man in charge of the mayhem. The one in the stripes, sometimes with a whistle. If they are noticed too much they become villains. Referees are an important part of sports. Supposedly unbiased , but sometimes swayed...Here is your Uncle Buck's list of the Top 10 Referees of all time...

10. Joey Morella - Pro Wrestling

The real life son of wrestler/commentator Gorilla Monsoon was one of the top referees in the WWF during the 80s & 90s before he died tragically in a car accident in 1994 at the age of 30.

9. Ed Hochuli - Football

Easily the most recognized ref in NFL history, Ed has become famous for his muscled 1st down calls, which he emphasizes with an extra tight ref jersey. Bill Belichick once said he wished Hochuli's crew could ref every game the Patriots played...

8. Richard Steele - Boxing

Steele was Boxing's #1 ref in the mid 80s, including championship fights with Thomas Hearns, Marvin Hagler, Mike Tyson, Sugar Ray Leonard, Julio Cesar Chavez and many more... Steele's career fell apart in 1990 when he was the referee for Julio Cesar Chavez vs. Meldrick Taylor 1. Taylor seemed to have the fight in hand going into the final round, leading easily on 2 of the 3 scorecards, when Chavez started to mount a major comeback. Chavez hurt Taylor with only seconds left, knocking him down. Steele gave Taylor the standing 8 count and asked if he could continue. Steele was not satisfied with his response and called the fight a TKO...WITH 2 SECONDS LEFT:

After the fight Steele was wrapped up in controversy for not allowing it to continue so close to the end. Another cautious decision a few fights later and he was reduced to this:

7. (TIE) "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin - Pro Wrestling

The former World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion was part of one of UB's favorite wrestling angles of all times. After joining the WWF in the late 80s, Garvin wrestled Greg "The Hammer" Valentine in a series of matches that finished with a "loser must retire" match. Valentine won but Garvin got his revenge, coming back as a referee. Of course Garvin was only assigned to matches with Valentine, and would constantly catch "The Hammer" cheating and DQ him...Finally the ref was reinstated for a final showdown with Valentine, which he won, before fading into obscurity in the organization. (NOTE: He also had the greatest finisher of all time: The Garvin Stomp...)

7. (TIE) "Dangerous" Danny Davis - Pro Wrestling

Danny Davis entered the WWF back in 1982 as a referee and doubled as "Mr. X," a masked wrestler. A few years later he assisted the Hart Foundation in defeating the British Bulldogs for the Tag Team titles and later became a full time wrestler in the Jimmy Hart family.

7. (TIE) Torrie Wilson - Pro Wrestling

Only saw her as a referee a few times in WCW and the WWE...But man did she look good doing it:

One more of Torrie, for the Stoolies:

6. Walt Coleman - Football

14 Words: "After reviewing the play, the quarterback's arm was going forward, it's an incomplete pass..."

5. Lou Fillipo - Boxing

Any other ref would have shit his pants when both fighters hit the canvas at the same time...Not Lou. He makes the double 10 count and saves what would have been a very embarrassing situation for professional boxing...He also has his own action figure:

4. Earl Hebner/Dave Hebner - Pro Wrestling

Easily the most recognized refs in Pro Wrestling, the twin brothers were a big part of the WWF/WWE in the 80s and 90s. Dave was more of a behind the scenes guy, while Earl was normally the main event ref. Until the original screw job in 1988 when Hulk Hogan was wrestling Andre the Giant on NBC's The Main Event:

Dave (or was it Earl) had been paid off by The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase to take the title off Hogan and award it to Andre (who then sold it to DiBiase). Earl came running out of the back following the match, showing that there were in fact 2 refs and exposing the plot. Hogan cleared house of both of them and a tournament was set for Wrestlemania IV.

Earl was also a major player in the Montreal Screw Job of Bret Hart in the 1997 Survivor Series...The brothers were fired from the WWE in 2005 allegedly for selling WWE merchandise without permission.

3. "Big" John McCarthy - Ultimate Fighting

"Big" John is considered by many to be the "Octagon's ninth side." He has served as referee for nearly every fight in the Ultimate Fighting Championship from UFC 2 until UFC 31.

2. Mills Lane - Boxing

After Richard Steele's decline in the early 90s, Mills Lane stepped into the national spotlight as Boxing's most recognized referee. Often calling the biggest world championship fights, while being introduced with his trademark finger to the side of the nose... Went on to star as a clay version of himself on MTV, followed by a TV judge:

1. This Guy:

Reader Email

I got this email today from my brother who’s currently stationed 30 miles north of Baghdad on a 6 month "temporary assignment" for the Air Force.  Granted, he’s not on the front lines – but it certainly ain’t Nantucket. Anyway, I thought this was pretty good...     

So I was standing in line for dinner tonight and they had eggplant parmesan. Delicious, right? Well this hillbilly Army redneck idiot in front of me says, "I'll have the lasagna." The Bangladeshi guys serving food even knew enough to tell him that it wasn't lasagna. He asked again, "Lasagna please," with a stupid Gomer Pyle looking expression on his face.  I'm gettin angrier at this guy by the second. I look at him and say, "That's not lasagna." He says, "Yes it is." I said, "No, it's eggplant." He says, "It's the same thing. It's eggplant lasagna." I said, "What the hell are you talking about?" He said again, "It's the same thing."      At this point I gave myself 2 choices, walk away immediately or give him a close up of the eggplant "lasagna" right in his face.  He asked once more for the "eggplant lasagna" and I calmly proceeded to a different food serving area... I think I made the best decision under the circumstances.   While I'm thinking of stupid people, here's something I overheard yesterday..."He has like 40 jerseys. One for every day of the month."       

-manzo  

Nice to see that Anna will, in death, conduct herself with the same dignity that was her hallmark in life:

AP Newsbreak: Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband may be baby's father

LOS ANGELES - The husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor had a decade-long affair with Anna Nicole Smith and may be her daughter's father, he told The Associated Press on Friday.

The claim, by Prince Frederick von Anhalt, comes amid a paternity suit over Smith's 5-month-old daughter, Dannielynn. The birth certificate lists Dannielynn's father as attorney Howard K. Stern, but former boyfriend Larry Birkhead is waging a legal challenge, saying he is the father.

"If you go back from September, she wasn't with one of those guys, she was with me," von Anhalt told The Associated Press. He said he would file a lawsuit if Dannielynn is turned over to Stern or Birkhead.

Are all bizarre celebrities connected somehow? I mean, are they organized? Do they attend meetings, go over rules of behavior, maybe have a newletter or an online chatroom where they can discuss different ways to mess up their personal lives?

Anna hasn't even hit room temperature yet, and we've already got speculation that the babies father could be Smith's lawyer, a former boyfriend, or even [shudder] her own dead son. Now Zsa Zsa's husband, a 62 year old prince? How do these two even get together in the first place? Did they go into a private chat on FamousFreakShows.com and say:

"Fred: I'm phony royalty married to a broad who's only famous for being famous. You're a self-destructive tabloid staple. We have to have sex. It's part of the deal."

"Anna: I'm sold. How soon can you get here?"

With a half a billion dollars inheritance at stake here, I doubt we've hear the last of guys coming forward to hope they hit the DNA lottery. Hell let's start some wild speculation right here and hope the rumor spreads. Other potential babydaddies:

• Flava Flav
• Ryan Seacrest
• Robert Goulet
• Regis Philbin
• Dustin Diamond
• The Cartoon Network hoax guy with the dredlocks
• Bill Belichick
• Pete Manzo.

I have to confess I'm taking the untimely passing of Anna Nicole Smith kinda hard. This is a loss that effects us all. She had already done so much good in her short life, and she had so much still to offer. We are, all of us, poorer in her absence.

I haven't felt this way since we lost Princess Diana and Mother Teresa in the same week. I can't believe it happened last night and Elton John still hasn't released a reworked "Candle in the Wind."

There's been a lot of speculation about the cause of this tragedy. Let them guess. Let the medical examiners run their tests. I know the real cause, and it won't show up in any autopsy. Anne died of a broken heart.

Those of who knew Anna, who loved her know she was never the same after the death of her loving husband, J. Howard Marshall. They were two people, one heart. Without him, she couldn't be whole.

Well, their bodies live no more, but a love like theirs? It's eternal. Rest in peace, Anna. You and J. Howard are together again.

This is a great re-cut of the episode of the Simpson's where Homer takes on Drederick Tatum a-la Peter McNeeley and Mike Tyson. Of course watching this prompted UB to pull up the epic battle between The Hurricane and The Most Dangerous Man on the Planet...

(If you have a chance, check out McNeeley's website. Photos posted from the fight look like he kicked Tyson's ass...)

Candidate #4- Alice Walker who turns 63 today.

The book on Walker:

• Pulitzer Prize winner
• coined term "womanist"
• blind in one eye
• had Lyme disease
• has no bikini pictures floating around the Internet
• favorite color- purple

Candidate #3- Amber Valletta who turns 33 today.

The book on Amber:

• vegetarian
• husband played volleyball for the US at Sydney Olympics
• has three half-sisters and two half-brothers
• had role in Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story

Candidate #2- Ziyi Zhang who turns 28 today.

The book on Zhang:

• Forbes ranks her as the 2nd most popular Chinese celebrity after Yao Ming
• trained dancer
• mother is a kindergarten teacher
• starring in new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie

Candidate #1- Mena Suvari who turns 28 today

The book on Mena:

• showed boobs in American Beauty
• born in Rhode Island
• three older brothers all went to the Citadel
• married to wrinkled dude 18 years her senior

Last night episode of Survivor, the premiere of Fiji, was about as bad a start as the show has ever had...Unlike previous seasons, all of the cast aways were dumped as one big group and had to build a island palace worthy of The Howells from Gilligan's Island...

Pretty soon we meet the token Boston guy "Rocky" or James or "Boston" or whatever you want to call him. Apparently his nickname is Rocky because he looks like a younger thin Sly...In fact his gay CBS Bio pic looks like Sly from his days working as a Porn Extra in the now infamous "Italian Stallion" film. This guy is annoying as fuck. He really thinks he's Rocky Balboa. He's not. He's a bartender who lives in LA, but is originally from Boston. Does any one in Stoolsville know this guy? He's got "BOSTON" tattooed on his arm and everything.

After a challenge, in which the cast is divided into their two tribes, the winners got to go back to the island mansion (complete with couch and a shower) while the losers went to a beach with a pot and a machete. Then came the worst thing to happen in Survivor in maybe all 14 seasons of the show...They eliminated the ONLY HOT GIRL 1st...

Over the history of the show the producers of SURVIVOR have done a good job getting some hot girls on there. Many of them have been in Playboy, one even had a sex tape out. Jessica was this season's breakout babe, but for some reason she got booted...(If you don't think she's hot, check out the rest of the cast here)

It looks like it's all down hill for this once great show...RIP Jessica, we hardly knew ye...or ye ass...

Here's Anna Nicole Smith being rushed into an ambulance. And then she died. I really don't know what else I can add about this clip.

The lingering question about Anna's death is whether or not it was a suicide. I didn't hear this myself but a friend just told me that Kiss 108's Matty (among others) speculated on the air that Anna killed herself because the actual father of her newborn daughter is...her son Daniel who also died a few months ago under equally suspicious circumstances. Just hours after his new "sister" was born.

But in the end, at least we can all rest easy knowing that now the Donald Trump v. Rosie O'Donnell feud can get back on track. No doubt The Donald has a field day with this clip of Rosie trashing Anna Nicole just hours before her death. Nice timing, Rosie.

Random thoughts from last night’s 5-2 loss to the Hurricanes….and I was just about to buckle in and start driving the bandwagon.

* The Bruins blew this game in the second period, not when they left Rey Whitney alone for four minutes but when they let the “Whalers” off the hook by not scoring on the power play (0 for 5 on the night). The Bruins weapon is Marc Savard but they can’t seem to get him the puck on the PP. As Savard goes on the PP, the Bruins go and they didn’t last night.

* It’s Hockey 101, rather it’s defensive hockey 101. In your own zone, PICK UP A MAN! The first two goals of Rey Whitney’s natural hat trick were a direct result of guys standing around with their dicks, um, sticks in their hands.

* I like Tim Thomas. The guy plays his heart out. He gets pissed and slams his stick off the pipes at least once a night but he’s not a #1 goaltender. Plus, every now and again, he can let in a “softie” which he did on Whitney’s third goal to take the wind out of the Bruins sails.

* The Great Bochenski strikes again, and again. I guess the only bright light of the night has to be Bochenski notching two goals, giving him three in two games. He seems to have a knack around the net. Now, get him on a line with Savard while he’s hot.

* Let’s not forget the Canes provide us with Mrs.Bret Hedican, otherwise known as Kristi Yamaguchi. I have always been on the fence with her. She’s like the girl in Seinfeld that looks good sometimes and bad sometimes. Perhaps our resident figure skating expert can comment on her triple moo-cow, or whatever it is. Can we get some thoughts on Mrs. Hedican please?

* Another alarming sight at the Garden last night (besides Lenny Clarke in his mink) was the amount of empty seats, I guess based on the product that was out there last night, it makes sense.

* This was a game the Bruins needed. They trailed the eighth place Canes by nine points coming in and had four games in hand. It may have gotten them on a roll as they have a nice three game home stand, before heading out on the road for six. What could have been, they can try again on Saturday against the streaking Islanders.