Marco Borriello plays for Milan in the Italian soccer league. When he tested positive for performance enhancers, he did what any smart athlete does: he said it was somebody else's fault.

But Marco is light years ahead of our doofusy American athletes. While Barry Bonds is blaming Mark Sweeney and Gary Sheffield is blaming Barry Bonds and Shawne Merriman is blaming team doctors, Borriello blames his astonishingly beautiful Argentine model girlfriend Belen Rodriguez.

Borriello claims that Rodriguez was taking a creme to treat a vaginal infection, and the creme had steroids in it, and he ingested some because well, he's a man, and she's a woman, and there two young kids in love and somethin' somethin'...

Marco Borriello is now the leader in the clubhouse for 2007 Sportman of the Year. How great is this alibi? "Sorry fellas, not my fault...I was muff diving. On my model girlfriend. Couldn't help myself." Even if it's chemically impossible, all any guy in the league office can say is "Good for you" and vote for no disciplinary action.

Some NSFW pictures are here, here, here and a whole calendar's worth is here.None of these should dissuade any guy from risking a postitive steroid test, infection or no infection.

I got this from Fark, who linked it from Rumorwhore. So if you want to say you read it on Deadspin or Withleather or something, just shaddup.