Random Thoughts

Channel 4's Bob Lobel and Steve Burton just reported that Bruins rookie Phil Kessel has testicular cancer. Kessel was hospitalized earlier in the day but neither the Bruins nor Kessel and his family gave the reason. Several hours after the Bruins' announcement, ESPN.com reported that Kessel's health issues had nothing to do with anything "nefarious," largely in response to speculation that the rookie was battling drug or alcohol addiction.

Lobel is the first mainstream reporter to, apparently, confirm Kessel's condition. However, bostonrinkrats.com posted the same news several hours ago but the site was widely condemned (and perhaps threatened with legal action) and removed the claim from its site. Most sites and news organizations had held back from speculating publicly on Kessel's condition after the Bruins and the Kessel family asked for privacy.

It will be interesting to see, first, if Lobel is right about Kessel. Lobel has a track record for, well, for speaking out of his ass. Second, the reaction to Lobel's decision to go public with this news after the Kessel family asked for privacy should be intriguing. I can tell you that shortly after the Bruins' initial announcement Barstool had information from two solid NHL sources, one player and one league executive, that Kessel had testicular cancer (no doubt every other Boston sports media outlet had the same info) but we held off posting it because we just felt a little creepy doing so. The Kessel's may have well sought out Lobel. But I figured that we would play it safe (and our audience knows how hard that is for us) and wait for more information before posting anything.

So, should we have posted that Kessel had testicular cancer? Did we puss out?

For the past couple weeks people have been asking me where I found the picture of the Florida Gator Chick. The honest answer is that I have absolutely no idea where I got that picture from. I think somebody sent it to me. Awhile back I asked people to send me photos of any hot girls they could find in sports related paraphernalia. These are what people sent me.

There is finally some optimism about the Red Sox's chances of signing Daisuke Matsuzaka before the December 14th deadline. Jim Allen of The Daily Yomiuri writes on ESPN.com that "the nation of Japan would be devastated" if Matsuzaka was not signed by the Red Sox.

Regardless how far his agent has to go to secure the best deal for his client, make no mistake, this deal will get done. By the end of the week, the Sox will be staking out space for their new No. 18 in the Fenway clubhouse and planning for the swarm of Japanese journalists who will descend on Boston in April.

Allen explains that not only does Matsuzaka desperately want to play in America but that his former team, the Seibu Lions, have basically already spent the $51.1 million posting fee the Red Sox paid to to secure the exclusive right to negotiate with the pitcher:

The Lions have slated 1.6 billion yen ($13.77 million) for additional players' salaries, 700 million yen ($6.02 million) each for upgrading restrooms and the clubhouse and 300 million yen ($2.56 million) each toward replacing their dome's artificial surface and installing field seats.

Should Matsuzaka return to Tokorozawa, all those plans will go down the drain and fans will be left shaking their heads.

Allen ends by raising the possibility that failed negotiations could cause an international incident because Japan will lost $20 million in lost tax revenue and that Matsuzaka will do everything to avoid embarrassing his native country.

It is an interesting perspective on the situation and certainly the most optimistic piece of news about the negotiations in days. Do I trust some sportswriter from The Daily Yomiuri more than the award-winning writers at the Globe and Herald? Yes. Yes, I do. Looks like I'm getting that Matsuzaka jersey for Kwanzaa after all.

This next random thought is one of those times where I think that if I wasn’t the boss I wouldn’t be able to write this because I may get fired or in trouble.  But here is my question. Can you be a gay racist? Up until a few days ago I would have said no. But like always the Real World shows that anything is possible. 

In case you missed it, in the last Real World episode, Davis, who is openly gay, called his roommates the N word. Granted he was piss drunk but I’m one of those guys who believe that if you have the capacity to call somebody that, regardless of whether you’re drunk or not, then you are racist. The thing that really shocked me about the incident was the fact that Davis is gay. I didn’t even know it was possible for a gay person to be racist. I feel like gays would be the most open minded people on the planet.  I mean, if you’re part of a group that lots of people hate to begin with, I’d think you wouldn’t go around throwing racial slurs in people’s faces. But I guess I was wrong.  

As a side note, Davis is a wet dream for a Real World casting director. He is an alcoholic gay male from the South whose parents hate him and apparently he is also racist. You know the casting director was giggling to himself when he decided to drop him in a house with two black guys in Colorado. Gotta love the Real World.

The general consensus among most NBA commentators is that Allen Iverson will be traded by tomorrow, if not later today. Virtually every report has the Celtics have as one of the teams in the running to nab Iverson. ESPN's Marc Stein had this take on the Celtics' chances of landing the 76ers' superstar:

Word is no team is hotter for Iverson than the Celts, just as they were in June at the draft.

Of course, there's probably no team Philly would rather deal with less than Boston. The Sixers want to see as little of Iverson as possible when this is all over, as opposed to seeing him in the same division wearing the colors of a longstanding (and hated) rival.

Philly's problem? Boston might have the most attractive combo of youngsters, draft picks and salary-cap relief. So then what do you do?

The Globe's Shira Springer writes that Celtics have offered Theo Ratliff (and his $11.7 million expiring contract), Sebastian Telfair, Al Jefferson and Delonte West for Iverson. Over the summer when an Iverson-to-Boston trade was first discussed, many sportswriters dismissed the idea because a Celtics team with Iverson still looked like a longshot to win the Eastern Conference.

But now that the Eastern Conference has been exposed as a fraud, does it make sense for the Celtics to trade away several young, decent but not great players for one older great player? From a marketing standpoint, it's a slam dunk. The Celtics get a few years of Iverson, team him up with Pierce and sit back and count the money. And from a basketball standpoint, it means the Celtics are suddenly a serious contender to win the East for the next few years. The Celtics would still have youngsters like Gerald Green, Rajon Rondo and Ryan Gomes and as a championship contender the team could potentially attract a veteran free agent or two.

Or does it make more sense for the Celtics to stick with their young players, finish out the season, probably miss the playoffs and take their chances in one of the deepest drafts in years?

If the Celtics can make the trade for Iverson while still holding onto Green, I think it's a no-brainer. You make the deal. Are the Celtics going to be better in two years with or without Iverson? Would a mid-30's Iverson do more for the Celtics than the mid-20's trio of Telfair, West and Jefferson (who has looked pretty good lately)? I think he would. Pull the trigger, Danny.

USA Today - Nextel Cup champion Jimmie Johnson broke his left wrist when he fell out of a golf cart during a celebrity tournament, his team said Sunday.

"I was in a golf cart and the driver took a sharp turn," Johnson said in a statement. "I wasn't holding on tight enough, landed awkwardly on the ground and heard a little pop. It was a fluke deal, but fortunately we're in the offseason and I don't plan to miss any additional time."

Does anybody still want to say these guys are athletes?  How the hell do you fall out of a golf cart?  If you have even a spec of athletic ability you can grab onto something and regain your balance.    Listen, I’ve played a lot of golf in my life time.   And I have some of the biggest lug head buddies you’d ever want to meet in your life.   But I’ve never seen anybody fall out of a golf cart before.   Sure, I’ve seen golf carts tip over and I’ve seen golf carts smash into each other and shit like that, but never anybody falling out.  How is that even possible? And Jimmie Johnson is the best driver on the Nascar circuit?     Please.

Hmm, it appears that I may have been wrong about the Superfans. They don’t suck after all.  At least not at basketball. BC had another impressive win yesterday beating Maryland fairly easily at The Heights. I haven’t decided how good I think they really are yet. But they are obviously a Top 20 team and the loss to Vermont was clearly a fluke job. I think part of the problem when evaluating the Superfans is that it’s tough to take Jared Dudley seriously.    Apparently Gary Williams said he was the best player in the ACC. And while I guess I have no problem with that statement, I think even the most ardent Superfan would have to admit that he is the worst looking superstar in the history of college hoops.  

I feel like if I saw him on the street I’d bet my life that I could beat him in a game of one on one. (Aside from the fact he’s 6'7”). He just looks like a loser. Not only is he real ugly, but his posture sucks. He looks like the Hunchback of Notre Dame out there. And he never does anything in a game that makes you shake your head and say wow. I mean he can’t really jump. He doesn’t seem that quick. He’s not a great outside shooter. It seems like all he does is clean up with garbage points and do the little things that you don’t notice.   Not to mention the fact the way he celebrates is JV. There is just nothing spectacular about him except his numbers, but I guess that’s all that matters.  

Obviously, Barstool Sports is all about the 2006 Asian Games. What red-blooded American sports fan isn't? So, most of our readers probably have already seen this highlight of Arash Borhani (who has apparently taken Iranian football by storm according to the Persian Football News) taunting the Chinese team during the epic China-Iran quarterfinal. The country that America may someday go to war against defeated the other country that America may someday go to war against 2-2 (8-7 on penalty kicks).

This is some world class taunting and it warms my heart. It doesn't matter if you're from America or Iran; everyone loves some shameless in-game taunting. Nothing brings people together like a total lack of sportsmanship.

Kate Winslett bashed local home girl Kate Bosworth to the BBC the other day. This is what she said;

“It’s so disturbing, because young girls are impressionable from 11 up to 19 or 20, even. Women are very impressionable at those ages. They’re trying to figure out who they are, and they want to be loved, and what I resent is that there is an image of perfection that is getting thinner and thinner, and it’s truly upsetting to me.”

Listen, I could give a rat’s ass about Kate Bosworth creating a negative image for 11-19 year old girls.    But that doesn’t mean that Winslett is wrong about Kate Bosworth.   I used to have a huge crush on her until she went all anorexic on my ass.    It’s one of the saddest declines in the history of modern civilization.  We need to fatten her ass up.    My question is what makes her think she looks better now than she did in her Blue Crush days?     As a side note if anybody can find me the Cruel Summer Remix from Blue Crush you’ll get 10 extra Stoolie points.  I love that song.

I posted this thing on Saturday because I thought it was too funny to wait. But since the majority of Stoolies don't check the blog on the weekend I figured I should repost it just in case. Inside the NFL is celebrating their 30th anniversary by showing lots of clips and bloopers from the past 30 years. This was clearly the best of the bunch. I love Nick Buoniconti's reaction. And trust me it was real. I saw them talking about it after. As a side note, a special thanks to the First Lady for teaching me how to put barstoolsports.com on the youtube video.

Things to consider while wondering if the Patriots have noticed they've got this thing, this little habit where sometimes, once in a while, they tend to fumble the ball a little? And that maybe it's time to work on that...

*Hey offensive line, how's this for a "metaphor?" If his Visa card gave Tom Brady the kind of protection he got from you guys, someone would've stolen his identity, maxed him out, and put him on the FBI's kiddie porn watch list and Homeland Security would be connecting him to Al Qaeda.

*Maybe it's time to lose the beards, fellas. If I played like that, I'd be shaving my head to pay homage to Jason Taylor. Hell, I'd let Taylor shave it for me, then put a prison tattoo on me that says "Taylor's Cell Bitch." I mean, he sure treated you like it. "The Girls" might have gotten to Andy Dufresne, but at least he put up a fight.

*This was a division game on the road, and you hardly ever win those. So I'm trying not to overreact. The right side of my brain is like Buzz Lightyear when he and Sherriff Woody are lost at the gas station saying "This is no time to panic." But the left side is Woody saying "This is the perfect time to panic!" It's the way they got beaten that bothers me the most:

• They knew the Dolphins like to come hard at the QB and were completely unable to handle it.
• They knew fumbles have been killing them, and they left the ball on the ground 4 times, losing 3.
• Again, even though they were running the ball effectively, Josh McDaniels insisted they keep chucking it, almost getting Brady killed in the process.
• After the double pass TD play was called back, the defense, which fought hard all day, took the field so completely demoralized that it bordered on giving up.

*Without a doubt the best player on the Patriots this year isn't the franchise player, it's not the perennial All Pro defensive end, and it's not the rookie phenom...it's Ty Warren. For what seems like the tenth week in a row, he stuffed every running attempt and gets better at pressuring the QB week by week, even though LJ Shelton and Vernon Carey were doubling him all day. It's getting to the point that teams might start running away from his side, and take their chances with Richard Seymour.

*No word from Ron Borges and Kevin Mannix about what they think of trading Bledsoe for a draft pick (that became Warren) now.

*The torture of sitting through this game was only made worse by having to endure the inane prattling of the gawdawful Randy Cross. I can tolerate him calling Ben Watson "Daniel Graham." I can put up with him calling every guy on the Pats roster "Dan" (Doug Gabriel, introduce yourself to the folks), but when you've got a player named Yeremiah Bell, can you just NOT make a "Yeremiah was a bullfrog" reference? Is that too much to ask? Do you think the poor bastard hasn't been listening to it his whole life? My parents almost named me "Jeremiah" before that song came out, and if they had, "bullfrog" jokes from nitwits like Cross would've had me climbing a tower with a rifle a long time ago. And it was Three Dog Night, not Creedence Clearwater, dumbass.

*If I were the king of the world, I'll tell you what I'd do: I'd make it illegal for a newspaper columnist to write about the kicker or the punter. I'm sick of guys who don't like or understand football doing articles about these guys. What they do isn't interesting, and all we need to know about them is what their numbers are, period. Having said that, I now brace myself for the onslaught of the hacks dusting off their "What are the Pats gonna do about Ken Walter?" stories from 2004. Walter was awful, just awful yesterday. Worse than the O-line even.

*I think we can officially declare Watson a decent, not a great tight end. I'm sorry he got hurt on the play, but let's not let it obscure the fact that he had already dropped the ball before he got hit. I like the expression "He heard the footprints;" it applies here. It would've been a hell of a catch, but it's the kind the great ones make. Gonzalez, Gates, Shockey, Winslow...all would've made the play then taken the hit. Troy Brown's half his size and he's been doing it for 27 years. I think Watson is the tight end of the future, and always will be.

*I have to confess: I spend a lot of time on this team, and I still can't distinguish one defensive back from another. With the exception of Assante Samuel, who's sort of iconic, they're all just interchangeable parts to me; second and third stringers and nicklebacks they picked up on waivers. I still have to look at the roster every time one of them makes a play so I can keep Artrell Hawkins straight from Willie Andrews or Chad Scott from Ellis Hobbs. Did anyone else know that Ray Mickens was #38?

*I like Mike Wright but when Vince Wilfork went out, Miami attacked the middle of the line,and Rex Hadnot (does he ever abbreviate that with "Hadn't," Randy Cross undoubtedly wants to know), who was getting is ass kicked by VW all day, was consistently able to take Wright out of his gaps.

*I would've fired McDaniels at halftime and given Ivan Fears or Dante Scarnecchia a battlefield promotion. How can you have your offense so thoroughly unprepared? Matt Light and Nick Kaczur were each left one-on-one against Taylor, and we've known they can't handle him for six years now. And when Dillon has more rushing yards than Brady has passing yards, and he's done it on 16 carries, do you think maybe a 17th or 18th carry might be a good idea?

*Maybe it's just that I'm in a bad mood, but the caveman commercial just isn't funny. I don't even know what it's an ad for, but I just want who's ever in charge of these things to know, it's not working. Have your spokesman be a hot girl instead.