Random Thoughts

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

A motion filed last week by his attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.

“The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass,” Anderson wrote.

What the f-ck? Aren't we just arguing semantics here? I mean if you're raping a dead deer then you should automatically be killed right? I mean this is an absolute no brainer in my mind. I actually don't know how our forefather's didn't put that clause in the Constitution.

"Raping dead deer will result in automatic death"

It should be in there. I'm not even joking. This guy has to be killed before it's too late. I can picture him getting in trouble with the law a few years down the road and the police looking at his record to see if there was anything that should have tipped them off. "Well he did rape that dead deer on the side of the road back in 2006." I mean c'mon. Anybody this crazy needs to be put down.

Thanks to Jeff for sending the link

MSNBC - - A cell phone captured video of a 23-year-old student being administered multiple Taser shocks by UCLA police on Tuesday. The UCLA student was hit with the Taser shocks multiple times while he was in the Powell Library Computer Lab. According to the paper, Tabatabainejad did not show ID to community service officers who were conducting a random check. UCLA police said Tabatabainejad was released by police after he was cited for obstruction/delay of a peace officer in the performance of duty. Police said they thought Tabatabainejad was not harmed in the incident."If he was able to walk out of here, I think he was OK," the sergeant said.

Well I guess the moral of the story here is that you need to bring your student ID to the UCLA Library to get in. And the 2nd lesson is that when you get tasered by community service officers (do they get paid?) and they tell you to stand up, you should try and get up so you don't get tasered again. Although I am a bit confused how the kid was supposed to get up when he kept getting tasered? Doesn't tasering knock you down? It seems counterproductive to taser somebody while you're yelling at them to stand up. But like the Police Sergeant said, "if he was able to walk out of here, he was ok"

Hey, wait a minute, he didn't walk out of the library at all. He got dragged out and was tasered throughout the process.

As a side note, I wish I could taser our writers when they didn't blog enough for my liking. "Write a blog Manzo or I'll taser you"

.....as the greatest air-guitar player of all time. Simply brilliant. He even gets a random "rock on" hand salute from a paying customer, so you know he's the real deal...

Some wacky Australian scientist has just “invented” the air guitar t-shirt.  According to this NECN video which you have to watch, the high-tech t-shirt has sensors built-in that translate the air-strumming into actual music.  I know what you're saying - "if they had this when I was in college I would've gotten way more chicks." Probably.

But this guy is too lazy to learn the real guitar, that’s what this is really about, and an air drums t-shirt would be too expensive. So I completely respect him on that level.  As far as his playing ability, hey buddy, talk to me when you can nail the last solo in “Sweet Child O’ Mine”, the toughest air guitar song of all time, drunk, and to perfection.

NY Post - November 16, 2006 -- DEREK Jeter has a new babe. The Yankee shortstop went out in L.A. Tuesday night with his new squeeze, Jessica Biel . According to our spy, the couple were huddled in a corner of hot club Hyde, "laughing and giggling together." At one point, Jessica, voted Esquire's "sexiest woman alive" in 2005, went to the restroom and three girls quickly scurried over to chat with Jeter. But as soon as Biel returned, he put all his attention on her. The two left together. A Biel rep didn't return calls.

Newman!  

Honestly, kill me now.   Of all the women in all the world, Jeter had to pick Jessica Biel.  That sucks.  She’s my girl.  Everybody knows this.   Ever since our eyes locked for 3 seconds a couple years ago at Joshua Tree in Somerville she’s been an El Presidente favorite.   I still maintain that she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen live.  Therefore, it cuts me deep to hear that she may be dating Derek Jeter.   I need Tom Brady to step in and put an end to this pronto.   Jeter’s not even that good looking.  What’s he got that I don’t?Listen Jeter, do me a favor and win a world championship this century before you start dating the likes of Jessica Biel.  You’re way out of your league buddy.  Stick to Mariah Carey.

Emitt Smith won Dancing with the Stars last night beating out Slater from Saved By the Bell.    And in case you missed it, after Emmitt danced his final Samba with his partner he gave her a nice slap on the ass as if to say nice job.    I searched high and low for this footage, but couldn’t find it anywhere. You’re just going to have to trust me that it happened.  Anyway, this begs the question is it okay to slap a chick’s ass in a competitive situation to congratulate her for a job well done?    For example, Allana who was featured in our 25 Sexiest Bartender Magazine is on our trivia team at Game On.  If she gets an answer correct can we give her a quick slap on the ass to congratulate her?  Or when I hire Barstool Girls for various events and they do a good job can I slap them on the ass?  What about at our photo shoots?  If a girl takes a great picture can I slap her on the ass?    What about female sales people?  If they close a big deal can the boss give them a slap on the ass?  Hmm, lots to think about with this one.  Personally I think as long as you give an open handed slap it’s legal.  Any grabbing or lingering hand motion would have to be qualified as sexual harassment.

This is another one of those "You make the calls!" New York Jet running back and key fantasy waiver wire pickup, Leon Washington, has a new Bowman trading card that's causing quite a controversy ala the Billy Ripken "fuck face" card back in 1989. As you can see, it appears Leon's flipping the bird to all of America in the photo, but he's actually not. Washington claims he's making an "E" sign to represent the East siiide of Jacksonville - obviously a hot bed of southern Jet fans.

"All it is is that I'm from the East side of Jacksonville - that's my community," Washington told The Associated Press. "It looks funny, but maybe I should've taken the picture a different way. That's all it really is - nothing more than that." Hmmm, I still don't know.

The card sold for around $12 on eBay a few days ago, but is now averaging around $80 and selling for as high as $99.99. If Don West was still around, he and Kenny would be up all night successfully convincing you that "This is the greatest purchase you'll ever make in the history of your entire life, PERIOD, BAR NONE, END OF STORY."

And speaking of Don, here he is "SWIMMING IN CARDS" from back in the day. You kind of have to watch.

Boston.com is reporting that Chinese Internet surfers once again have unfettered access to Wikipedia, the popular free online encyclopedia. The Chinese government has quietly dismantled its digital barriers against the service, according to Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales.

This is huge news at the offices of Barstool Sports right now.   We can only assume that if the Chinese can now access Wikipedia, they can also finally access Barstool Sports as well.   I’ve been trying to take this company global since day 1 and this should serve as a major breakthrough after some tough early setbacks. First we had that fraud Binlondon on the message board who claimed to be from London when in fact he was from Medford and of course we had the Chinese Government blacklisting us from their citizens.  (I’m guessing about that part) Luckily things have changed.    Don’t be surprised if we hire somebody just to blog all day long about Yao Ming.   I mean let’s not kid ourselves; China is a huge untapped market for hat sales.   I may need to change the slogan of Barstool Sports from “By the Common Man For the Common Man to “From Southie to China and Back”

P.S. – Here is our Wikipedia definition;

Barstool Sportsis a free biweekly newspaper in Boston. Launched in August 2003 as a four-page gambling rag, it has grown to be one of the better-known sources of "alternative" sports humor and coverage in the city. It is perhaps best known for its scantily clad cover models, in the style of Maxim (magazine) and similar men's magazines. The writing and style of humor, as the writers themselves admit, is heavily influenced by national sports writer Bill Simmons, and the paper has a love-hate relationship with Simmons himself.

"The Stool" attracted some publicity and controversy in September 2005, when it made public an expletive-filled voicemail from local sports radio personality John Dennis directed towards his competitor Ryen Rusillo. The publication of a glossy "Boston's 25 Sexiest Bartenders and Waitresses" issue in November further increased Barstool's local profile.

Rocky VI??? This could quite possibly be the dumbest idea Hollywood has greenlighted since...Rocky V. Everything about this is preposterous. The idea that Rocky comes out of retirement because of a computer simulation in which he defeats the current champ. The idea that the champ would ever agree to it. The fact that Stallone is 60 frickin' years old.

Still, it does have the music. And the training sequences are cool, I especially like the line "Blunt. Force. Trauma." And he champs name is Mason "The Line" Dixon...neat. Stallone looks pretty damned good. Hell, Pauley looks good. "What's that from, the 80's?" "That's probably the 70's." Awesome.

OK, I'll be there opening night.

Kristanna Loken has given her biggest hint yet that she is dating Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez.
The Terminator 3 star was recently interviewed by gay publication The Advocate, where she was asked about stories linking her to her sexy Bloodrayne co-star.
When asked about the rumors that the two hooked up during the shoot, Loken laughed before responding, “There is the $64,000 question. Um. I don’t even know how to answer that.”
The interviewer then suggested that her silence “spoke volumes,” to which Loken said, “Just don’t look upstairs, okay?”

I love a celebrity lesbian story as much as the next guy. And the fact that one half of this couple is Terminator 3 chick is front page, above-the-fold headline stuff. That the other half is Anna Lucia from "Lost"...not so much. She was a chameleon on the show. There'd be brief moments when she'd look slammin', but those times were rare. And her tough-on-the-outside-so-her-heart-doesn't-break tough girl act got tired real fast.

Check out these pictures and see if you can guess which one is the bull of the relationship:

Thanks to the fellas who post comments on the board for finding this story.