Random Thoughts

I know I'll get yelled at for even suggesting this kind of blasphemy around here, but who have the Pats beaten this year? You wanna crown em', crown em', but the supposed future AFC champs have still yet to beat a team with a winning record. Buffalo (3-5) is terrible, they beat them twice. Miami (2-6) - Sunday in Chicago was obviously a fluke, they're still God-awful. The Jets are one of the worst 4-4 teams I've ever seen. Minnesota, also 4-4, just lost to San Francisco. Repeat that sentence out loud. And Cincinnati, 4-4 and reeling, has yet to stop anyone on the ground all year. So the facts are the Patriots have beaten 5 teams this year - all 5 have a .500 record or worse. And the 2 above .500 teams they've faced, they've gotten beat both times -- AT HOME.

Is that really the resume of a potential Super Bowl team? And is that really a picture of a Corey Dillon figurine getting stabbed?! No, and yes!

Next week's opponent: the Jets (4-4). Again. Maybe they'll pick up another "quality win"...

This is not an excuse for the Patriots' dreadful performance last night. The Colts were the better team....but do you ever get the feeling that Bill Belichick pulls back on the reins just a little bit against (1) teams the Patriots are likely to see in the playoffs, and (2) teams that Patriots can beat with a certain, opponent-specific gameplan.

The play-calling during last night's game was, to put it nicely, curious. The Patriots ran the ball just 10 times in the second half in what was mostly a one possession game. And the Pats were picking up 4.5 yards per carry. You can point the blame at offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels but I'm guessing that there's no way the Pats run the ball just 10 times in the second half of a one possession game without Belichick giving his OK.

Do I think that Belichick wasn't playing to win? Of course not. But do I think that he may have gone into the locker room at the half and said to himself "We can run on these guys all day. We know we can and the Colts know we can. Let's switch it up and give them something to think about for the next time we see them." Absolutely. For all his talk about "one game at a time," Belichick realizes that come January there is a very good chance that he'll face the Colts again. What may have looked like crappy play-calling last night may have just been Belichick testing some things out and giving Tony Dungy and his staff more to gameplan for if the teams meet in the playoffs.

Or maybe it was just really crappy play-calling.

This is my favorite political advertisement of the election season. I love the fact that the police chief never looks at the camera as if to say "Yeah, I know that there's a freakin' camera over there but I'm so pissed off about this Question 1 bullshit that I can't even bring myself to look at it. That's how ripshit I am about the prospect of wine being sold at supermarkets...what...MS-13...don't tell me my business, amateur. You think MS-13 is a problem now just wait until those MS-13 thugs get their hands on a nice bottle of Shiraz. Davis Square is gonna look like Baghdad on a bad day."

I'm guessing that this has to be more of a suburban issue. In Boston, there's a liquor store every 50 feet. Consumers only care about convenience. If I need wine and I'm in a supermarket, I'll buy it. But if I have no reason to go to the supermarket, I'm not going to go 10 minutes out of my way, ignoring a dozen liquor stores in the process, just to buy wine at Whole Foods or Stop & Shop. But I guess in the 'burbs where everyone drives for everything that consumers could start ignoring the local liquor store...unless of course they want beer or actual liquor in which case they have to shop at the local package store.

But here's my problem with all the anti-Question 1 ads: Underage kids have never had a problem boozing in Massachusetts and supermarkets haven't been allowed to sell wine. Is there really going to be a spike in underage drinking because some 17 year old can buy Pinot Noir at Roche Bros.?

Here is my question with this video. Who is Lou Holtz kidding? There is no way he sneaks around the chicken coup and avoids this injury if he is on the sideline. Holtz makes it sound like there is no way he'd get rolled up on tlike that.. I'm calling bullshit. Paterno had no chance here and neither would Holtz. We're just lucky Paterno didn't die right on the field.

Some Youtubes are clever. This one isn't. Nor is it topical; it's like four months old. But it does speak to me in a really stupid way. It basically consists of two drunken a-holes screaming at Stephen A. Smith at this years NBA draft in such a way they could be charged with criminal harassment. Thanks to my cousin's kid Matt for this one.

"Quite frankly these are most delicious Cheez Doodles I have ever eaten." Hilarious.

Okay, I know that I’ve written this before, but Barstool Sports is looking for new bloggers.   Especially since Chisholm has morphed into a poor man’s Manzo in terms of blogging activity.   The only requirement is that you need to be funny and be able to write funny.   If you've got what it takes the perks are endless.   Forget about fame and fortune because that pales in comparison to what we offer at the Stool.  For starters we don’t pay at all and I will yell at you if you go a long time without blogging.   And that’s just the beginning of the fun.    I mean if you’re real good there may even be a free hat in it for you.  Seriously though, if you’re into writing and want a forum to communicate with the rest of planet earth than this is the place for you.   Believe it or not Barstoolsports.com is a pretty big website so it’s a good opportunity for anybody looking to get their voice heard.   I mean “we’re bigger than US Steel.”   So if you’re interested in joining our blogging team the best thing to do is send sample blogs to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com.   If we like your shit we’ll post it.  And if you keep sending us funny blogs we’ll invite you into our exclusive blogging fraternity.   I mean how much better does it get than that?

Record Online.com - A Wallkill varsity soccer player was arrested last night and charged with punching a Cornwall player in the face, knocking out three teeth and fracturing her jaw.Cornwall police charged the player with second degree assault — a Class D felony — for the actions after Tuesday's Section 9 Class A quarterfinal in Cornwall. According to police, Crespi punched a Cornwall junior defender once in the face during postgame handshakes. Cornwall police Sgt. Philip Sinagra said last night the incident was unprovoked. "In the course of our investigation, we were unable to come up with a motive," Sinagra said. "It doesn't seem like anything precipitated this."

Now here is the catch.   The soccer player was a chick!   Yup, Jasmine Crespi, 16, sucked punched Ashley Thorpe in the face during the post game handshake knocking 3 teeth out and forcing her to get her mouth wired shut.  And the police say there was no motive!  What are they stupid?    Clearly Ashley Thorpe got exactly what she deserved for hooking up with Jasmine’s boyfriend.   There is absolutely no other explanation.    Girls don’t go around punching each other’s brains unless somebody banged somebody’s boyfriend.  You don’t have to be Inspector Gadget to figure that one out.   Am I right or am I right?

http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061102/NEWS/611020337

Things to consider while waiting for the DVD release of "Little Man" starring Colts free safety/pain-in-the-ass Bob Sanders:

*Everyone in the Patriots universe is asking the same question this morning: "Why the hell did the Pats stop running the ball?" I still can't wrap my brain around it. Did Indy demonstrate in any way that they were capable of stopping the run? It defies logic. By my math, the Pats ran five, FIVE! first down plays with Kevin Faulk, at running back. The same Kevin Faulk who has "3rd down back" under "Occupation" on his W-2. If Brian Billick was the head coach, he would have fired Josh McDaniels' ass for that game plan. And Denny Green would've Uday Husseined him into a giant plastic shredder by now.

*I watched the game from my cousin Phil's house on his new projection Hi-def TV, one of the kind that give Japanese kids seizures when they watch "Pokemon." It's not the first time I've seen a game in Hi-def, but the screen on this thing was the size of a minivan windshield. At times it's great, like when you're watching the actual game. At other times, it's merely disturbing, like when you realize that John Madden dyes his massive eyebrows. Plus the size and picture quality was so amazing, you could actually see the outlines of Pink's testicles.

*In the first half, the Pats secondary was trying to stop the Colts with man coverage, which clearly wasn't working. And I fully expected them to jam the Colts at the line, but they played back and gave them a cushion on every down it seemed. Does any reciever in the league get wide open as often as Reggie Wayne? Seriously, it's like a super power; he can repel cornerbacks like he's Magneto or something. By the seond half, it looked to me like they went for more zone and Ellis Hobbs proved he's the number one corner.

*This loss blows on so many levels. Not the least of which is would've created a great scenario down the stretch this year with the Pats, Colts and Broncos locked in a death grip with one another like a high stakes rock-paper-scissors game, with each team 1-1 against the others. Those three teams are still clearly the class of the AFC, but the Colts are Moe. They've now slapped the Broncos' Larry and eye-gouged the Pats' Curley, and no one can do anything to stop them. (Except wait for the playoffs and hope they fall for the thing where you hold out your fist and they slap it and you swing your arm around and bonk them on the head.)

*Duane Starks was watching at home, and he was still closer to Marvin Harrison then he ever got in last years game. By the way, I saw Starks not long ago. He was at an intersection, leaning on a sign that said "Furniture Liquidiaton Sale."

*I'm proposing that Vegas offer this prop bet for next week's game: Total points scored in the game vs. How many times they play the John Mellencamp "This is Our Country" ad in the first quarter.

*Has there ever been a worse call than the taunting penalty on Troy Brown? Yeah, that Troy, he's a real badass. I guess 14 years of Brown being one of the best citizens in the NFL doesn't count for much when you've got assholes like Bill Polian whining to the league about the Pats getting special treatment. Maybe we ought to start calling him "T.B." Or "Ocho Cero." The closest Brown has ever come to taunting was talking smack to the old folks in the bingo parlor.

*Overall I thought the Pats O-line played a great game. Dwight Freeney has his mandatory once-per-game pounding of a defenseless Brady, but the protection was good all night. Freeney's hit came off his spin move, a move that some say was invented by Mark Gastineau, others say it was Bruce Smith. But I trace its origin to Eddie Money in the video for "Shakin'." Back in the day, when I was creating a legend on the dance floors of Boston, I scored mad chicks with that move, let me tell you.

*The Pats drafted Dave Thomas primarily for his hands, but I think he's filled in more than adequately for Daniel Graham with his blocking. On one early Laurence Maroney run, he did a great job picking up Booger McFarland. In fact, he picked Booger and wiped him out. He smeared Booger all over the place. Then he picked Booger again, held him up, then he ate Booger for lunch. (I could do this all day...)

*The only crowd that gets quieter faster than the one at Gillette is my in-laws when I walk into the room. Seriously, one thing goes wrong, and they go dead silent like they're watching "United 93" or a Rob Schneider movie.

*The Pats changed things up on defense. The most obvious was that Vince Wilfork, instead of playing head-up on the center, was lining up in the gaps all night, and Junior Seau would take the center/guard gap on the opposite side. Then in the second half, they consistently blitzed Seau, Bruschi and Vrabel, which I never thought they'd try. And it worked for the most part.

*But while it kills me to say it, Manning came up huge. More often than not, when the Pats got someone in his face, he managed to get rid of the ball at the last possible second and still make a better throw than most NFL QBs can with no pressure at all. I mean, Harrison's TD might be the catch of the year, but how the hell did he get that ball to Ben Utecht? Until last night, if I said "Utecht" you'd think it was the name of some Div. 1-AA school, but last night Manning made him look like Tony Gonzalez.

*The hit of the night was Corey Mays on the kick return. I don't think the Pats dished out one really bone-rattling hit all night. I'll say it again: Rodney Harrison is the most important man on the planet Earth.

*It's amazing how calm Brady can look, even on the final drive of a game when he's down a touchdown. Like my brother Jack said, he can slow his heartbeat down like Hannibal Lecter eating the nurses tongue.

*How often do you see a tripping call? I thought the Colts were going to get a five minute major for that.

*In order of blame:

1. The Pats horrible game plan
2. The Colts making clutch plays
3. The Pats inability to hold onto the ball
4. Terrible officiating
5. Belichick's red sweatshirt.

Jake Delhomme is getting stalked.  And here is the part that really sucks for Jake.   The lady who is stalking him is a serial stalker.  Her last stalker target was a mortgage broker who helped her get a mortgage.  That kind of sucks right?   I mean if you’re going to go through all the trouble of getting stalked; wouldn’t you want to be the only person your stalker ever stalked?   It kind of makes you feel special.  Like you were so awesome that your stalker had no choice but to fall in love with you and stalk you.   But in this case, Jake is just a dime a dozen with this lady.  It kind of takes the romance out of the whole stalker thing when you know you’re just a number.  I mean how can you take this letter seriously that she wrote to Delhomme when you know she probably just cut and pasted it from her form stalker letters.       

But I also know that you are the most wonderful, loving awesome man that I have ever met and I love you with all my heart. You are the best one ever for me to share my life with and I promise you that I am the best one and the right one for you to share your life with and I will be everything you could ask for and more as your companion, lover, best friend, helpmate + confidant as your wife and I will be the love of your life and make life so wonderful for you + you'll never regret it ever."

As a side note, I will give it to this lady that she has the look of a professional stalker.   I mean I think that’s what I would have guessed her occupation was if I met her in the supermarket.

http://www.wcnc.com/news/topstories/stories/wcnc-103106-al-delhomme_stalker_part2.3e5c086.html

Dlisted.com - Apparently, during a film shoot Scarlett Johansson left her mic on when she went to get busy with an unidentified male in a truck. One of the sound operators noticed that her shit was still on and listened and taped while Scarlett and the dude made out and then she leaned over and gave him a sloppy bj. She ends by telling the dude “Yeah, cum.”

Umm, oh my god.   A Scarlett Johansson sex tape!   Are you kidding me?  This has to be God’s way of apologizing for the Pats game last night.   How else can you explain it?  I mean when you ask the hypothetical question “So who would you like to see in a porno movie?” Scarlett is a top 10 answer.  This rumor is too good to be true and that’s just how I’m going to treat it until I see visual evidence.     And if it turns out that this is a sham than God is really sticking it to us lately because this would be the worst kick in the balls of all time.

I had to write my reactions to the Pats debacle before going to bed.  First of all, I’m disgusted and utterly shocked.   Not only did I lose betting on the Patriots but I had the over which was 48 so Adam Vinatieri reversed f-cked me by missing that field goal at the end of the game.  I was psyched he missed it right until Brady through his 93^rd INT of the game.   Regardless, the fact that Vinatieri sucked was the only redeeming thing about last night and that hardly makes up for the fact that we played like dog shit.  What the hell was up with the offense?   People are going to talk about the Patriots giving up 27 points, but this loss was 100% on the offense.    I mean you can’t keep turning the ball over every freaking time you have it.  The Colts scored 14 pts out of the gate and then the defense pretty much shut them down the rest of the way.  They got a field goal strictly because of great field position and Marvin Harrison made an unreal TD catch that you got to tip your cap to him for.   But other than that I thought the defense really stepped it up.  They made all the big plays in the 2^nd half that they had to and kept us in the game.  They gave the offense countless opportunities to take the game over, but they just couldn’t do it.   And not only couldn’t the offense do it, but they kept turning the freaking ball over.  It reminded me of the Denver playoff game last year, which I thought was a once in a lifetime type thing.   The bottom-line is that the offense was bad the entire night and the play calling was atrocious.   Everybody knows that the Colts can’t stop the run.    Even the First Lady knows this.  Why did we stop running the football?  Listen I know that the Colts were putting 8 men in the box, but it doesn’t matter.   We still needed to smash mouth them.   Somehow it got to the point last night where the Colts didn’t even care about our running game.  We’d gash them for 10 or 15 yards on a running play and go right back to 7 straight passes.  It was surreal.  Even the Colts knew we weren’t going to try to run by the end of the game.  It was almost like the Pats coaches out thought themselves.   It was like they knew the Colts knew they couldn’t stop the run and therefore they tried to trick them by not even trying to run it.  It was just stupid.  Or maybe it was the fact that there was a ton of scoring early and the Pats coaches were afraid to run it and get stopped?   Either way, I just don’t get it.   You need to run it right up the middle against the Colts and by the 4^th quarter they will be worn down and you can just slam em to death.  But you can’t wear shit down when you’re not running the ball at all.  And what was up with all those freaking misdirection screen passes.  Why were we trying to finesse the Colts?  You just jam it up their face until they bleed.      Can you tell I’m pissed?     And the thing that pissed me off the most about last night was the Colts defense and their tipped pass signal that they kept doing to celebrate.  What did that mean?    Do they think that’s the key to stopping Brady?   Whatever it means it was pissing me off.   

As a side note, just to show I'm not a homer I can totally admit that Peyton Manning outplayed Brady last night. Although my grandmother could have outplayed Brady. Manning made a bunch of tough throws under heavy pressure. But let's not say that pressure doesn't bother Manning because he was clearly bothered by it last night. And he threw a horrible INT that kept us in the game in the 4th quarter and he also got away with a few mistakes. Regardless, he didn't lose his team the game and you can certainly argue that Brady lost the Pats the game.