Random Thoughts

What are people’s thoughts about high priority emails?  These of course are the emails that arrive with the little red exclamation point next to it.   I feel like this feature gets brutally abused in Corporate America.  I hate when people send me emails with exclamation points on them.   Listen, I’m going to check my email when I check my email.   Sending it high priority doesn’t automatically send a message to my brain while I’m in the shower or driving that an urgent email has arrived.  And what makes you think your email is more important than all the other emails I receive?   I feel like it’s a real cocky move to send a high priority email.  It’s like your trying to boss me around or something.   As a result, lot’s of times I’ll put high priority emails at the bottom of my to do list.  It’s almost like a little pissing contest. And I feel like there are some people who only send high priority emails.  It doesn’t matter what the heck they’re talking about, it’s always marked urgent.   High Priority emails should be reserved for emergency situations only.  If you’re sending out more than one high priority email per month, than something is wrong.  The only time I send them is if somebody is clearly ignoring me and I’ve sent like 5 emails already without a response.  Then I’ll hit em with the priority email just to be a prick.   But other than that I never send the high priority email along.      

You can never have enough drunken athlete photos on a rainy Friday afternoon.   Lots of these photos have already made the rounds, but they’re still fun to look at.  Clearly John Daly looks like he’s the most fun to hang out with.  I love how he gets everybody naked in his pictures including himself.     I also was a fan of the Dirk photos.    On the flip side, Mike Mussina looks like he is every bit as boring as he always seems to be.  Also, it’s hard not to respect Al Leiter a little bit more after seeing him in a game of Beirut which appears to be taking place in my old  summer house at Newport.     As a side note, I’m kind of surprised there were sober Big Pappy pictures in there instead of drunken photos of Bronson Arroyo or Keith Foulke which are everywhere.

Thanks to Mark for sending the link.

I’d just like to remind the good folks at WEEI that I as well as the entire Barstool Sports staff will happily serve as a guest on the Big Show free of charge.    The reason I say this is because it’s clear that they are hurting for guests.   This guy Rob Bradford or whatever his name is has been on the Big Show for like 19 straight days.  Who the hell is this guy and where did he come from?    I mean he seems like a pleasant enough fellow, but I fell asleep at the wheel today listening to him and almost drove into a tree.    I wonder what Glenn Ordway is thinking?    I mean how is it possible they can’t get better guests for The Big Show than Rob Bradford?    Let me put it this way.   I think if we asked Rob Bradford to do an interview with us he’d probably say yes and nobody says yes to the Stool.   Nobody.     

Here is the question of the day.  Should Barstool Sports publish a gay issue?   Because this is apparently the key to getting main stream advertisers to advertise in your publication.  And in case you don’t believe me, just look at both the Weekly Dig and Stuff @Night’s current issue right now.    They are both centered on Gay Pride week.   Now, I have absolutely nothing against Gay people.  I could care freaking less what your sexual orientation is.    Having said that I’m proud to remind everybody that Barstool Sports is the only publication in the city geared strictly towards the heterosexual Male.   As the President of Barstool Sports I promise that we will never publish “a gay” issue because I’m not only the President of the Stool, but I’m also a client.   

What is it with Florida?

Two Florida teachers have resigned after middle school students observed them having sex in a locked classroom. Officials learned of the trysting last month when students at Coleman Middle School, a Tampa public school, reported spotting teachers Frances Sepulveda, 30, and Bryant Wilburn, 29, getting busy. According to an investigative report prepared by Hillsborough County school officials one student said that he saw Sepulveda with "her pants down, bouncing up and down, and Mr. Wilborn standing and sitting behind Ms. Sepluveda." Though there was paper covering the usually unlocked door's window, students saw through a "hole and a crack" in the paper.

After initially denying to an investigator that they were having sex in school, Sepulveda, a foreign language teacher, and Wilburn, a gym instructor, admitted to the assignations. One of the young witnesses said that Sepulveda pulled her out of her following class and told her to "keep quiet and not to say what she saw." The teachers resigned shortly after being confronted about the May 22 classroom incident.

How to rank the order of bad decisions here? First, having at it in the classroom, obviously rates first. The school day is like, six hours long. Ask any married guy and he'll tell you he can wait six weeks standing on one foot. But if you're going to try it, do you put one layer of paper on the door's window? (By the way, nice use of "a hole and a crack" kid. There's not a classroom in America without stacks of construction paper. If I had to have it so bad that I couldn't wait for the dismissal bell, I would had so much paper on that glass that light from a supernova couldn't penetrate it. Finally, why 'fess up? Say anything. Call every kid involved bald faced liar, but save your phony baloney job at all costs.

"Those who cannot do, teach. And those who cannot teach, do each other."

The Baltimore Orioles invited new Ravens QB Steve McNair to throw out the first pitch at last nights game.

McNair injured his arm on the play, suffered an oblique strain, pulled a quadricep, tore his labrum and strained both achilles tendons.

McNair is expected to miss all of training camp, start in Week 1, then reinjure something else, miss practice in Weeks 4-8 and all of November.

ESPN will air a special edition of NFL Primetime tonight so that Chris Berman, Tom Jackson and Michael Irvin can celebrate McNair's toughness with a big circle jerk.

File this away for the next time:

• An Old Timer tries to tell you that he doesn't go to ballgames anymore because the crowds are out of control
• The Globe does an article about Boston fans and our booze fueled rowdy behavior
• Some pointy headed European calls out the good old USofA for our culture of violence
• Joe Torre opens his pie hole to say anything about the fans at Fenway.

The World Cup just had it's first soccer hooligan arrests. And you might want to sit down for this...they're English.

THREE Englishmen who vandalised an airport taxi within minutes of arriving in Germany for the World Cup are believed to be the first hooligans of any nationality to be arrested.

The men, from the Midlands, were held in the huge German police operation aimed at minimising trouble during the month-long tournament. They were detained overnight in Cologne and appeared in court yesterday morning where they pleaded guilty to being drunk and disorderly. The three verbally abused a taxi driver and attacked his vehicle when he refused to take them to the city centre because they were so drunk.

I know it's hard to fathom Europeans invading each others countries, starting trouble and breaking stuff, but try to use your imagination.

According to a story in The Sun (UK), a recent poll of In Touch magazine readers ranked the best show business breasts. Here are the results:

1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Jessica Simpson
3. Salma Hayek
4. Halle Berry
5. Jessica Alba
6. Tyra Banks
7. Jennifer Love Hewitt
8. Rebecca Romijn
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Brittany Murphy

I can't argue with the top 3. Johansson, Simpson and Hayek are the Bird, Magic and Michael of superstar breasts. But Alba at #5- that's seems a tad high for her. She's gorgeous and has an amazing figure; no one is disputing that. But this poll was supposed to be all about the boob. I have to question the voters' integrity on this one.

And Jennifer Love Hewitt at #7- she must be devastated. I'm sure that Ghost Whisperer is breathing down CSI's neck but J.Love's breasts were her go-to. And now they're just 7th best. That's a slap in the face to J.Love's bosom.

Lohan and Murphy are both questionable. Lohan is like Notre Dame football- she's getting votes for what she was years ago. And Murphy's breasts have Bowling Green/Boise State written all over them. Overrated. They look good on her but put them within 100-feet of Hayek or Simpson and it's obvious to everyone that she's not even in the same league.

For the past month all I’ve heard about is how the World Cup is the biggest event in the history of mankind.   That the “beautiful game” makes our Superbowl look like a Double A baseball game.   Yada, yada, yada.    And tonight is the opening ceremony for the World Cup which is being billed as the most spectacular celebration of sports of our generation.   So who did the Germans get to headline this massive celebration?   If you said Right Said Fred, you’d be correct.   Yes, the boys from “I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt” are apparently the best the Germans could dig up for this thing.   I don’t know about you, but this kind of reassures my faith in the fact that I ain’t missing anything by not paying attention to the World Cup.   So the next time somebody lectures me about how huge the World Cup is I’m just going to reply by saying “how big could it be if Right Said Fred played the opening ceremony.”

As a side note, I still do like that song "I'm too sexy"

Introducing Reon Kadena, who will make the problems of the world go away for the next 6:23. SFW, although I wouldn't show it on PowerPoint at the next mandatory Sexual Harassment Seminar. We can commence building the 500 ft. statue of her, since she'll soon be the Absolute Ruler of the Earth.

My favorite Kyle Boller moment was the time I bet all my life savings on the Ravens against St. Louis on MNF a few years ago. It was my mortal lock of the century. The Ravens outgained St. Louis like 523 yards to -3 yards and still lost the game by 20 pts. The Ravens offense led by their fearless leader had about 14 turnovers that led directly to 93 pts for the Rams. By the end of the game Ray Lewis was begging the offense just not to give up a touchdown and keep them in the game. Oh, the memories...

Even though Deadspin.com was all over the Bill Thornton brain surgery story first, I thought I owed it to all the people who posted their prayers to give an update.

The surgery went well. Really well, according to everyone there. No sooner did the anesthetic wear off then he was up and talking. Normal, lucid talking, too. Not the incoherent babbling you'd expect from someone coming off brain surgery, or say, a "Whiner Line" caller.

So it's all been a nice demonstration of the power of the 'Stoolies thoughts and prayers. If I ever want to start a religion, or a really profitable tax-exempt cult, I know where to start. Bill and his two teenagers check the site daily, and they appreciate the support.

And if you're thinking that my other brothers and I should exploit the situation, maybe get sympathy from our wives about how fragile life is...how on God's Disabled List, we're all listed as "day to day"...that maybe us guys need a trip to Alaska, or more golf outings and poker games, maybe even it's time for our wives to invite another woman into our beds...well we're waaaay ahead of you.