Barstool Sports

philly.com – The FastDiet, out less than a week in the United States, is already the No. 1 book at Amazon.com. That’s on the heels of being the top seller for weeks in Britain, despite being published just in January. It’s based on the findings by physician-journalist Michael Mosley that people can benefit from intermittent deprivation, and that occasional semi-starvation is a lot more tolerable than weeks or months of unrelenting self-denial. “You just limit your calorie intake for two nonconsecutive days each week – 500 calories for women, 600 for men. You’ll lose weight quickly and effortlessly,” claims a promo for the book, cowritten by Mimi Spencer. Fast for two days, eat normally for five each week – that’s why it has also been dubbed the 5:2 Diet.

Here’s the difference between men and women: weight-loss books. Besides penis and vagina and everything else that’s basically it. All human beings in first-world countries know how to lose weight and be healthier. Seriously…all of them. Eat less food, eat better food, exercise. That’s it. Both men and women are aware of this.

Yet there’s a catch — since some women don’t have the will power to take these steps, they have to invent new reasons and solutions for their fat. A fat man knows why he’s fat. He knows he got there by chain-eating Chester’s Puffcorn and not working out since 1997. Accepts total responsibility for his fatness.

Some women simply can’t do this. So instead they make books like this number 1 in the world. The thing is 256 pages on how to fast two days every week. Over 250 pages about a weight loss tactic that has literally been around since the dawn of man. I could write that book in one sentence. “Don’t eat food two days a week and instead stick to water.” Blam. Number 1 worldwide best seller about to put my pockets on explode.