The fact that it’s not hanging on my wall right now already haunts me. How could I let this wondrous journey of the Black Superfriends on horseback pass me by? When’s the next time I’ll be at a West Indian festival in Brooklyn and just so happen to see Tupac upon his steed side-by-side with Harriet Tubman, Michelle Obama, and a questionably distant Bob Marley? I’m an idiot. One hundred sixty bucks is nothing. It’s worth at least 100 times that in internet funny dollars. Someone could murder a bunch of people and I’m positive they’d still get into heaven as long as they showed this painting. It’s THAT powerful.
We’ve got Barry Obama riding shotgun (although it appears they’ve all got shotguns) showcasing his Commander medals and the Africa emblem and Michelle’s shiny forehead clearly signifying his Alpha status. Martin Luther King doesn’t look as excited to have Coretta in tow, but that’s to be expected. The weird part here has to be the obvious absence of Biggie and Oprah. Are they simply too fat to ride on a horse with the rest of the Black Crusaders? Or are they just not on Tupac’s level?
But I digress. This gift shouldn’t be about the questions, it should be about the message. Leadership. Strength. Community. Second Amendment Rights. Obama’s secret Kenyan heritage. Cool Archer-like ninja spy costumes.
Should have bought. This is clearly the greatest painting in this history of recorded history. I couldn’t be madder at myself.
PS – Where’s Django?