Barstool Sports

Eat at Arby’s every meal for 5 years. Lose a testicle. Shit out of my dick (also a consequence of eating at Arby’s everyday for 5 years). These are just 3 of the 1,000,001 things I would rather do than have John Daly attempt to drive a golf ball off of a tee out of my mouth. David Feherty must have a golden horseshoe hanging from his nuts. 999/1000 times this drunken mess of a sexually savaged walrus known as John Daly would have given dude at minimum a shattered face with brain damage and at maximum would’ve decapitated his head from his body. Wouldn’t have even bothered to repair the divot. Would just go off camera for his Bud heavy, cigar and some overweight roadside titties to motorboat.

Daly didn’t light up his swing at all, either. Was in straight ‘fuck it’ mode with a dude’s life in his hands. Love the producers trying to talk Feherty and Daly out of doing this. “Let’s not do anything stupid here.” “It’s not stupid, trust me he’s a pro.” Yep, a pro who was selling T-Shirts in a Hooters parking lot at August instead of playing, claimed he went a year of his life where he drank a 5th of Jack every day of the year, lost $50-60 mill during his life on gambling, and has Golden Sombrao’d on marriages. Seems like the stable guy to risk your life with.

Getting up and screaming ‘Tadaa!!!’ is the gayest thing Feherty could’ve done outside of immediately breaking out the champagne and giving John Daly a balcuzzi while ejaculating glitter.