Barstool Sports

Last Week: 2-3
Overall: 3-7

Yeah yeah yeah my picks are worse than AIDS on a stick blah blah blah Smitty you suck, I get it. if I don’t go at least post a +.500 record this week, I shall retire to the depths of mediocrity and accept Davey Pageviews degenerate status when it comes to making picks. Either that or I just post them and you pick the opposite. Either way it’s a win/win for you. But that ain’t happening because I’m stone cold guaranteeing at least a 3-2 effort this week and I’ll put my money where my mouth is. If I don’t go at least 3-2 this week then EatDatPussy445 can kick me square in the balls or bitchslap me right in the face next week at Xfinity. If I go 2-3 it’ll be a bitchslap, 1-4 boot to the scrotum, 0-5 it’ll be both and then EDP can suffocate me in his tits because I’m not going to want to live anymore. We’ll get it on video or some shit. But it’s not coming to that. Cue the locks:

Detroit at Tennenessee +3.5

Buffalo at Cleveland +2.5

Tampa Bay at Dallas -7.5

Philly at Arizona +4.5

Pittsburgh at Oakland +4.5

5 games. 5 away teams. 5 locks. Bring it EDP.