Barstool Sports

Arbroath – An altercation between a young Saudi woman and an agent of the country’s morality police over her nail polish in a Riyadh mall has stirred a public debate in the Middle Eastern kingdom. In a video the woman can be heard demanding the agents of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice to leave her alone, as they instruct her to leave the mall at once. “Why are you chasing me? The government said no more chasing! Your duty is to advise people… why are you looking at my manicure? I will never leave the mall!” she can be heard saying. Later in the video, the woman asked mall security to intervene in the incident and to get the morality police to stop harassing her. The security guards refused to do so, instructing her to listen to the agent, who they know to be “a good man.”

This kind of stuff infuriates me. Not only because I’m the beacon for women’s rights you’ve come to know me as, but because this poor Saudi woman didn’t even get the chance to earn the asswhooping she’s about to receive. Son, over NAIL POLISH? Calm your Moral ass down, bro. Sheikh Al-FingerPolice over here’s about to stone this lady to death in a mall because her hair isn’t covered and her fingernails look fly. On behalf of every African American with awesomely tacky nails and the wonderful Korean Americans who make it happen: fuck you, Saudis.

Seeing this woman get harassed over nails is like the diet-Pepsi version of watching old footage of brothers & sisters getting fucked with in the 50′s for eating at the wrong restaurants or drinking from the wrong fountain. Just a complete waste of authority and violence. Like if I were to time travel back to 1952 I could have been publicly murdered just because I’m black and walking around the south, whereas today at the very least I could have EARNED that murder. Could’ve run around naked eating motherfuckers’ faces off for that murder. Instead I’m dead because I checked out Little Suzy’s fat ass? Unforgivable.

This is the type of stuff that makes me misty on Memorial Day; when I realize all the freedom we take for granted. Thank GOD our women can be as free and slutty as they want.