Barstool Sports

I’m usually the first one to point out that spring training really doesn’t mean dick when trying to project player performance for the upcoming season. Good players can have brutal springs and even the shittiest of players can piece together a respectable March. So while I’m definitely optimistic about Dom Brown and I’m completely disgusted with the douchey leadership comments from Jonathan Papelbon and his two horrid outings, but I’m not going to get too high or too low about anything.

Except for Ryan Howard, who killed another baseball yesterday and appears to be serving a not so subtle warning that he’s coming to fuck the entire National League this season.

The latest reminder that he could still be worth most of the $23 million he’s getting paid this year came when took a 1-0 Brett Cecil pitch and hit it out of the fucking stadium.

It’s not just that Howard is hitting .417 with three homers, three doubles, and 10 RBI to start the spring. Or that he’s 5 for 9 with two homers and a double off of lefties. Or that he looks patient and is using all fields—what he did so well when he was at his best. Or that he’s played in every game this spring.

Actually, it is all of those things. But it’s also that Howard isn’t some guy in need of a hot start to play his way onto the roster. We’re talking about a former MVP—a guy that 45 or more home runs between 2007 and 2009 and a guy that went deep at least 31 times for five straight seasons prior to missing nearly half of last year. There’s a track record here and a guy that by all accounts appears to be in great shape and finally fully healthy.

And if that’s the case, then look out. Guy is about to unload the king dick this season.