Barstool Sports

Arbroath – The Illawarra District Rugby Union in Australia is investigating a bizarre complaint about a player allegedly urinating in his shorts to put off would-be tacklers. The Vikings Rugby club sent a letter to the IDRU this week requesting action be taken against a centre from rival club Avondale after suspicions he relieved himself either before or during their game last weekend. The letter was accompanied by a photograph – subsequently leaked – which purports to show an incriminating stain on the player’s shorts. “It is either evidence that the player has urinated in his shorts immediately prior to the commencement of the game, or has applied some liquid to that area of his shorts so as to provide the same inference,” Vikings president Mark McDonald wrote. “Either way, such conduct is contrary to the spirit of the game and in contravention of items 8 and 9 of the IDRU Code of Conduct.”

No question about it I’m on the side of this player. No way it specifies anywhere in the rules that a guy can’t pee his pants if he wants to. Time for me to put this Rutgers journalism degree to use and Google what specifically “items 8 and 9 of the IDRU Code of Conduct” say:

8. not to conduct themselves in any manner, or engage in any activity, whether on or off the field, that would impair public confidence in the honest and orderly conduct of matches and competitions or in the integrity and good character of participants; and
9. not to do anything which adversely affects or reflects on or discredits the game, the Illawarra District Rugby Union and its affiliated bodies, or any squad, team, competition, tournament, sponsor, including but not limited to any illegal act or any act of dishonesty or fraud.

Umm, I don’t see “players can’t piss their pants” anywhere in there, IDRU. I see a few vague lines about impairing public confidence and good character of participants and discrediting the game, but nothing about urine. I’m part of the public, and my confidence would be impaired if I believed that players were holding back and not giving it their all every match. A dude’s peeing himself to not get tackled?  If anything that shows more character and respect for the competitive spirit than any of us could have hoped to see.

Either make a no pissing rule or stop stifling creativity and get off homey’s back.