» Other Things That Happened Last Night Besides Legal Weed: Puerto Rico Might’ve Just Become Our 51st State Barstool Sports: Philly

Other Things That Happened Last Night Besides Legal Weed: Puerto Rico Might’ve Just Become Our 51st State

Huffpo – Puerto Ricans have endorsed U.S. statehood for the Caribbean island but also ousted the pro-statehood governor in a close election. Gov. Luis Fortuno conceded defeat Wednesday to his main challenger after concluding there were not enough outstanding ballots to close the gap with his main challenger, Alejandro Garcia Padilla. The margin in Tuesday’s vote was less than 1 percent. “Now it’s time for us to come together as one people. The campaign is over,” Fortuno said in a news conference. Fortuno, as a member of the pro-statehood New Progressive Party, said he was pleased that 61 percent of voters endorsed becoming a U.S. state, though critics said the two-part ballot was confusing to many and would not be enough to persuade the Congress to accept Puerto Rico into the union.

Before any talks about statehood and un-evening our awesomely even current number of states, let’s first make sure that nobody feeds my man with the afro and five-for-five coke nails after midnight. Just to be safe.

It’s really about time we brought in another state. Sure it’s great having a nice round 50, but what’s the point of being the world’s richest and most influential nation that also drone bombs the rest of the planet into submission if you can’t pick up a country or two along the way? We haven’t added anything new since Hawaii in 1959 — it’s time we got us some more beach front property. Plus this acquisition would nearly double our national reserves of hot asses, which in itself makes the deal worthy of being finalized.

All Puerto Rico needs now is a Lingerie Football League team, meth, and a Cracker Barrel and I think we can officially bring them aboard.

By maurice posted November 7th, 2012 at 1:52 PM

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by taco_bun on November 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

F blog
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by chicagomatt on November 7, 2012 at 2:07 pm

the Gov in Colorado is gonna block the fuck out of that legal weed thing.
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by Numero Two on November 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Snag Cuba when Castro dies. 99% literacy rate and a all the cigars you could want.
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by natkingcole on November 7, 2012 at 2:28 pm

why would we want to add more puerto ricans?
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by vaginade on November 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

If your look at the rate of Gov. assistance per-capita; Puerto Rico has the highest level of fucking leaches. They all work "under the table", pay no taxes and sit back and collect ours. Great move by the US, just add another cost to the fucking middle to upper-middle class workers.
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by 5MinuteMajor on November 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I thought Israel was our 51st state already?
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by worriedindc on November 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Why don't we just firebomb Puerto Rico? I'll support Puerto Rican statehood when there are no Puerto Ricans living there.
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by BillyBaroo on November 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Awesome, add a whole island of potential welfare recipients. Just add them to the bill.
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by tornopen on November 7, 2012 at 3:27 pm

What the fuck? We should be allowed to vote on this. Puerto Rico rapes the US... we send god knows how much money to them; and we get back nothing. They have been leeching off the US forever, and are a true welfare state. NO. Puerto Rico, you can't be a state... I don't give a fuck if you want to.
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by Tha_Dro_Man on November 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

the badass gay puerto rican dude is easily one of the most underrated Seinfeld side characters. "WHO?!?! WHO ESS BURNING DE FLAG?!?!?!"
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by NV Pack on November 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm

And while we're at it, lets add Haiti. I hear they're a quality establishment too.
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