– O.J. Simpson held on to the knife he may have used to kill his ex-wife and her friend and is now trying to sell it for a handsome price, an anonymous source told the National Enquirer. The story, which appears in the tabloid’s latest print edition, quotes the source who is “close to Simpson’s inner circle” as saying the knife is stashed in the Bahamas. Simpson reportedly wants $5 million for it. “[O.J. is] looking for a strictly cash deal so that the money can be deposited in offshore accounts and can’t be traced directly to him,” the source said, according to the New York Post. “O.J. said he’d reveal the location once a firm deal — for a minimum of $5 million — was reached.” The Daily Mail reports that an unnamed wealthy memorabilia collector is interested in purchasing the knife. Hollywood Gossip lists several questions left unanswered in the Enquirer’s report, including “How could he possibly have hidden it from police then and held onto it for this long?” and “How is he negotiating that deal from a maximum security prison cell?”
How did he hide the murder weapon from police for over 18 years? How is he negotiating a highly illegal multi-million dollar sale from maximum security? DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT. Just worry about being outraged and not reading the details and telling the story to somebody else so they click on the story and buy whatever the ads tell them to.
Because that’s apparently what journalism is in 2012. Now I’m in no position to point fingers about shoddy journalism, but am going to anyway because I’m shameless and it helps my argument. Why the hell is this story being reported in semi-legitimate publications? The whole idea of O.J. somehow still owning this knife and having the ability to sell it seems about as true as false. The National Inquirer is not a real source. O.J’s house was raided like elevendy hundred times. He’s locked in MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON. Literally none of the things described in the story are possible.
But fuck it, I wrote about it to get your attention too, right? Speculate your asses off.