Barstool Sports

ABC – The online marketplace eBay is a popular site for bidding on rare finds and selling your own household treasures, but resourceful teens might also find another use for it: scoring booze. While eBay prohibits the sale of all alcohol with the exception of some wines sold by licensed wine sellers, it does allow for the sale of collectible alcohol containers. The site’s alcohol policy states that the seller of the container “will take all appropriate steps to ensure that the buyer is of lawful age in the buyer’s and seller’s jurisdiction.” But that didn’t stop one teen who worked with “20/20″ from obtaining alcohol through the site. We asked Xander, 13, to head to the site and try to buy liquor there. One vendor refused to sell his product when Xander and a “20/20″ producer declined to send a copy of an ID showing that the buyer was of legal drinking age. But Xander was able to successfully place an order with two other vendors. “All I had to do was type in vodka on the search bar, click one button and it can send it to my house,” Xander told “20/20.” (A “20/20″ producer paid for the purchases.)

Xander you goddamned snitch. You walked up to a crossroads in your life, and instead of choosing “make lots of money and be wildly popular by becoming a house party promoter and not telling the kids at school how I have access to so much exotic booze”, you picked “snitch to ABC and look like a geek on the news for 15 seconds”. If you weren’t Asian I’m certain your parents should be ashamed.

This eBay scam was your ticket to a lifetime of high school memories filled with banging popular cheerleaders and winning Homecoming King. Yet instead of seizing this opportunity, you threw this life chance in the gutter while at the same time booze-blocking thousands of other teenagers from getting Mexican Absolut delivered directly to their doorsteps.

You’re a lame, Xander.