I swear every time this dude tacked-on another element to this monstrosity I absolutely lost it. Five hundred people partying and drinking on the infield as Minor League All-Stars hit baseballs in their general direction protected only by a 12ft net? I got the Over/Under on concussions at 3. That guitarist is 100% the first to go. Trampoline intern is going to snap his leg trying to get a slightly-out-of-reach ball. Guy suspended 30ft by the crane? Hanging dead by 8:30. In other words: this is going to be the greatest Derby of all time.
No way those mascots make it after running around in 84 degree weather for 2 hours trying to catch baseballs while not crashing into any of the 500 people on the infield. I pray the EMTs are close by because this is going to be the must-see catastrophe of the summer. Tickets are still available, too. So if you’re in the mood to go to Reading tonight and see a slow trainwreck, now’s probably the time to get your seats.