Barstool Sports

MONTVALE, N.J. (AP) — Gov. Chris Christie made a dramatic entrance at his son’s baseball game Tuesday — in a state police helicopter.  The Star-Ledger of Newark reported that Christie and his wife, Mary Pat, landed on an adjacent field just before the game between Delbarton High School and St. Joseph’s of Montvale in Montvale. The pair stepped off the helicopter and into a car waiting nearby, which drove them 100 yards to the baseball field.  The governor’s oldest son, Andrew, is the starting catcher for Delbarton. That’s the same position Christie played in high school.  Flanked by state police troopers, the Christies watched the game from the stands until the 5th inning. Play was stopped briefly while the helicopter took off.

Now, far from the Stool to be political in anyway.  I’m not going to blog about how NJ Gov. Chris Christie is being touted as an extremely fiscally-conservative politician and how he’s cutting the education budget in NJ to that of a 6th world country. Yet, he’s able to take taxpayers money to use a police helicopter used only in emergencies at over 1,300$/hr for personal use.  Honestly, if I had any sort of power or authority I’d abuse the shit out of it too and be hypocritical as fuck.  Yeah, I would run on being a responsible person with money and a good family man and all that happy crap that voters eat up.  But as soon as I got elected I would take that copter to Vegas every weekend, go to every Philly sporting event with 6 call girls to each side of me, and hire smokeshow interns whose sole duty would be to massage my balls and every time I step into an elevator.

I’m not here to judge about politics.  I’m simply here to blog about how this man hasn’t seen his dick with his own eyes in at least 25 years and yet he’s a Governor.   Seriously.  In such a judgmental world that we live in, how the shit did he get elected as Governor when he looks like the love child of Jabba the Hut and the Mother from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? .  And people want chumbawumba here to run for president next year against this handsome devil?  No way in hell.

Screw getting elected to Gov, I’m surprised that the helicopter took off with this beached whale hibernating around in the cargo.  And what’s worse, he had to have a private car escort him 100 YARDS to the stands.  What the shit is that?  If you’re fat enough to where you can’t waddle your ass the length of a football field in disgust, you need to be on a rascal or flop like a seal to the bleachers because you need to be embarrassed publicly somehow for not being able to walk 300ft.

PS – Legitimately up for debate right now who is the most out of shape individual right now in America and is thus embarrassing their country more:  The Governor of NJ vs. El Presidente of Barstool Sports