Barstool Sports

Lookin good, Nic! Granted, I’d be disgruntled and hungover as fuck too if I were forced to ride coach next to Meat Loaf at 30,000 feet after being in every movie from 2009-2011. Gingers, no wonder they have no friends/souls. I mean who the shit thinks it’s a good idea to wake up anyone, let alone a potentially batshit Nicolas Cage, on a flight and ask for a picture? Surprised this bitch didn’t get dramatically chastised to death via an 8-hour monologue on method acting and/or stabbed in the juggular with the meerschaum pipe from National Treasure. You don’t mess with someone who earns a billion dollars, buys a castle, goes broke, has to sell his beloved castle and is forced to not only do Ghost Rider but its sequel. As unstable as any man can be.

PS – You better believe I would pay to watch Nicholas Cage in a full-length feature of just him in Japanese commercials.