Gizmodo – Within the next year or two, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security will instantly know everything about your body, clothes, and luggage with a new laser-based molecular scanner fired from 164 feet (50 meters) away. From traces of drugs or gun powder on your clothes to what you had for breakfast to the adrenaline level in your body—agents will be able to get any information they want without even touching you. And without you knowing it. The technology is so incredibly effective that, in November 2011, its inventors were subcontracted by In-Q-Tel to work with the US Department of Homeland Security. In-Q-Tel is a company founded “in February 1999 by a group of private citizens at the request of the Director of the CIA and with the support of the U.S. Congress.” According to In-Q-Tel, they are the bridge between the Agency and new technology companies. Their plan is to install this molecular-level scanning in airports and border crossings all across the United States. The official, stated goal of this arrangement is to be able to quickly identify explosives, dangerous chemicals, or bioweapons at a distance. The machine is ten million times faster—and one million times more sensitive—than any currently available system. That means that it can be used systematically on everyone passing through airport security, not just suspect or randomly sampled people.
I don’t know a whole lot about history, but I’m pretty sure this is the opposite of what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they spoke of freedom and liberty. Hidden government lasers that scan my hands and tell that I masturbated this morning from sperm traces and my adrenaline level makes me question whether or not we’re running this country the right way. I mean, obviously we’re not. Anybody who has ever seen the DMV, a finance professional’s bank statement, or a crowded water park can tell you that. But secret lasers? Epically un-American.
Someone brought up the question “what if I innocently went to the gun range before flying?” Well, I guess your ass would end up in Gitmo eating cockmeat sandwiches and praising Allah before sundown. Who goes to a gun range before boarding a plane, though? That’s something easy to avoid. The real question is “what if I innocently smoked a bowl before coming to the airport?” One second you’re just trying to get a little stoned before your connection flight to ATL, and the next you’re in a back office in shackles while Big Shirley from the TSA phones the Feds. Is this what we’ve come to as a society?
Fuck a laser scanner.