– Naked, covered in his own blood and screaming “like an animal,” a Doylestown man attacked a woman in Hawley on Friday and gnawed on her head after breaking into a home and jumping from a second-floor window, state police said. Richard Cimino Jr., 20, first pulled his car behind 634 Hudson St. early Friday morning, got out of his car and stripped down to his underpants, state police said. When the resident at that home awoke to Mr. Cimino’s attempt to break in, Mr. Cimino fled to 521 Hudson St., took his underpants off on the way and broke into that home, which was empty, state police said. Mr. Cimino walked up to the home’s second floor, jumped out of a window and severely injured his arms and legs when he hit the ground, state police said. Bleeding profusely, Mr. Cimino went through the home’s garage then approached two women walking down the street, Ann Monaghan and Nancy Dean-Corino, both of Hawley. Mr. Cimino tackled Ms. Dean-Corino and, bleeding all over her, “began to gnaw” at her head all while “screaming like an animal,” according to a state police press release. The two women managed to escape and call police. Responding troopers found Mr. Cimino lying in the road covered in blood with severe injuries. When Mr. Cimino – who state police described as acting delusional and confrontational – lunged at a trooper, another trooper deployed a stungun though he continued to act aggressively, even punching an emergency medical technician treating his injuries before he was transported to Geisinger Community Medical Center in Scranton. It was not clear what, if anything, Mr. Cimino was under the influence of at the time of the incident. State police on Wednesday said that information was still pending testing.
What is this, May? C’mon, Rich — you gotta do better than biting off biting people. That shit is so four months ago. You know what else was cool then? Making fun of LeBron not having any rings. So long ago, bruh. Get a new shtick.
I like what you were doing with the B & E and the Bath Salts Superman act out the window and the bleeding into a terrified woman’s open head wounds…it’s just not the same as it would have been before the Miami face eater. If you were feeling that bitey you should’ve gone for the neck or ass or labia or something else new and interesting. Crazed bath salts guys had their 15 minutes. They’re just like Four Loko and Ke$ha — nobody cares anymore.
PS – Punching the EMS guy trying to treat his giant shotgun wound in the ambulance may sneakily be the lede of this story.