Barstool Sports

DM – A former flight attendant on Magic Johnson’s private jet is suing the NBA legend, claiming he fired her because he wanted a younger woman for the job. In the lawsuit, filed earlier this week, Lanita Thomas, 45, is also alleging bizarre eating habits by her former employer. Ms Thomas, who worked on Johnson’s private plane from 2004, was axed last month – allegedly because she was 15 minutes later for work. Ms Thomas says she earned $75,000 a year and a $25,000 bonus as the only flight attendant aboard Johnson’s jet, and it was part of her job to make sure the plane had newspapers, DVDs and ‘highly specific in-flight food and beverage choices,’ according to ABC News. Among the required foodstuffs were Red Vine liquorice, which Ms Thomas was ordered to ‘regularly squeeze to make sure they were soft,’ the suit says. She claims she was seven minutes late on the day she was fired, but only because she had been held up at a deli counter making sure she got the ‘two types of turkey’ that Johnson required for his sandwich.

Listen, what’s so goddamn hard to understand, lady? You were late. You got fired. That’s it. Doing your job too slowly is a reason people get fired. If the King of AIDS needs soft Red Vines and a two-types-of-turkey sandwich before his flight then he needs soft Red Vines and a two-types-of-turkey sandwich before his flight. Not seven minutes after his flight is supposed to take off. Your tardiness was either gonna make Mr. Johnson late for his appointment with the fine folks at Rent-A-Center or make him travel on an airplane without a sufficient turkey selection, both of which are unacceptable.

Good luck with that case, Lanita. In the meantime make sure your 22 year-old replacement is all trained up on timeliness and Magic’s dietary needs.