Barstool Sports

Press Release

As the LFL heads into its 4th season in the United States, the league is preparing to further brand the sport internationally. LFL officials have announced there will be a major re-branding next week, which could include as much as a name change, new uniforms, and game equipment modification. The move is rumored to position the brand with a greater focus on the athletics of the sport and its athletes.

Mitchell S. Mortaza, Founder & Chairman of the Lingerie Football League, was quoted as saying, “This is the next step in the maturation of our now global sport. While the Lingerie Football League name has drawn great media attention allowing us to showcase the sport to millions, we have now reached a crossroad of gaining credibility as a sport or continuing to be viewed as a gimmick. In the coming years we will establish this sport in Canada, the US, Australia, Europe and Asia as the most known form of American football globally. In order to reach the next milestone, we feel the focus has to be the sport and our amazing athletes.”

HA– your mistake, Lingerie Football League. Leaving a gaping wide hole in the half-naked women team sports market like that? Just so the LFL can compete with Arena Football, Canadian Football, The Jacksonville Jaguars, and other ridiculous forms of sideshow gridiron? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

While you guys are out designing respectful uniforms and cleaning up your act, I’ll be first in line to my attorney trademarking the details of the Titties Out Twerk Yo Shit Football League (TOTYSFL). We’re going to fill the hole in the market left by the LFL’s departure and then some, as our rules clearly indicate that no woman (Brazilian model) may enter the field of play without first whipping her titties out and (if she’s on the home team) twerking for the crowd. Every touchdown point after is a ass-shaking contest, and all voting is based on audience applause. By halftime any fan with at least one descended testicle will forget the Lingerie Football League ever existed.