» Levitating ‘Magician’ Thinks His Shit Don’t Stink Barstool Sports: Philly

Levitating ‘Magician’ Thinks His Shit Don’t Stink

I could really give two shits how he did this. It’s not impressive at all. Dude you’re just chilling up there doing nothing. Dodge some bullets, light yourself on fire and start fingerblasting a smokehouse magic assistant for all of us to see or GTFO. It’s like that pussy who tight-roped Niagra with a safety harness. If it doesn’t involve something we haven’t seen before or the possibility of dying, we don’t want to see it. David Blaine’s been scaring black people with this act for years and you’re not going to die falling the height of the a basketball hoop. This is amateur hour shit right here. And he’s hardoing it for 45 hours? Fuck him. Act like you’ve been there before. Give the crowd a little taste of your nuts for like 15 min and keep them wanting more. I can’t imagine doing anything for 45 hours straight without losing my shit. Blowjobs are the greatest thing in the universe and I think I would rather stab myself directly in the dick at the thought of getting blown for 45 hours straight. This japass can go bukakki his mother during the next family show.

By smitty posted June 18th, 2012 at 2:05 PM

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by tr1d3nt on June 18, 2012 at 2:09 pm
So incredibly stupid. You can CLEARLY see his left arm tucked under his shirt as the wind blows; the arm connected (See: drilled into) to the sign is not an arm, it's a goddamn support that hooks under his armpits. Jessica Rafalowski's ass is still the most impressive thing happening on this website.
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by darklighter on June 18, 2012 at 2:12 pm
^^EXACTLY! His whole upper body is stiff from the harness and he's kicked it like tinkerbell with his lower half.
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by cantgetthestinkout on June 18, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Obviously he has a suction cup in his left palm.
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by cantgetthestinkout on June 18, 2012 at 2:40 pm
And where is the footage of him shitting his pants? 45 hours is a long time.
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by Will I am Not on June 18, 2012 at 3:07 pm
smitty.sucks.dick
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by StanSitwell on June 18, 2012 at 3:27 pm
regardless, that's a pretty damn good fake hand and pretty believable fake levitation. its weird that he's asian but still resembles david copperfield, its like you need to have that look of cocky insanity in order to be a magician
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by bdemps15 on June 18, 2012 at 6:37 pm
I wonder if he is good enough to make you djsappear.
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by redredwine99 on June 19, 2012 at 3:07 am
this is it, this is it smitty.. this is what you brought to the table today. someone punch me in the fuckin face for reading another smitty blog.
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by leachbomb on June 19, 2012 at 10:37 am
Trisha Takanawa reporting.
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