Barstool Sports

iHeartChaos – LaserScan is a fake laser security system to fool thieves. LaserScan is a security system that looks like a spy film prop, complete with roving laser beams and a satellite uplink to Global Link Security Solutions (video). And just like many spy film props, it is fake. The LaserScan control pad is actually a decoy designed to discourage thieves from breaking into a building by creating the illusion of a high tech security system.

Grand opening, grand closing. Way to let the cat out of the security bag, Global Link. You don’t think criminals go online? They’re probably stealing somebody’s wireless right now reading up on your window stickers and casing the suburban homes of cheap dads everywhere. Telling their friends how just for fun they should pretend to sneak around the lasers like in a movie because “When’s the next time you’re gonna get that chance?”

Don’t think a TV ad was the way to go, Global Link. Should have just kept this jawn a secret among penny-pinching small business owners and ironic 20-somethings.