Barstool Sports

Huffpo – Noman Ansari wanted to stop for a diet Coke with his wife in a Karachi McDonald’s in Pakistan, but when the couple sat down side-by-side in a booth, they were allegedly asked to sit across from each other. In a blog post for the Express Tribune, Ansari recounts details of the conversation, in which he said a McDonald’s employee told them they were disrupting the franchise’s “family atmosphere:” “Sir, this is a family restaurant. Couples sitting together is against the policy of McDonald’s Pakistan, as it goes against the family atmosphere of the restaurant.” “What? But we are married (not that it is any of your business).” “I am sorry sir, but you can’t sit side by side.” Ansari said a pair of managers later explained his behavior constituted “a negative impact on the Islamic family atmosphere of McDonald’s,” he wrote. According to the Telegraph, McDonald’s Pakistan assistant marketing manager, Ali Arsalan, said the company was looking into the grievance, remarking that physical contact between the husband and wife may have been the basis for a complaint.

If Mitt Romney goes on Fox Business right now or some other rich guy channel I don’t watch and announces his plan for a Constitutional amendment to ban couples from sitting on the same side of the table at a restaurant, he’ll win my vote before he finishes his sentence. Hell, it wouldn’t even have to be Romney. It could be a horse. A political horse in a giant horse suit could neigh his subtitled same-sider ban plan on national TV and I’d slap a Horse 2012 bumper sticker on my car TONIGHT. Same siders are horrible, horrible people.

This isn’t about “freedom” or “love” or any other bullshit vague words to stir your emotions, this is about right and wrong. And two people cramming onto one side of a table and having to turn to the side to talk is WRONG. You’re not cute and everybody hates you.

I don’t / won’t say this too often, but good work Pakistan.