MORMAN – More than 3,500 young, single, and ready-to-mingle members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gathered on the campus of Arizona State University this weekend for the Arizona LDS Young Single Adult Conference. Alex Boye, a British-born singer and actor who is Mormon, coaxed Romney to come onstage during his concert and tried to teach the former Massachusetts governor how to bust a move a la Psy.
The Constipated Mormon Shuffle. Either that or he’s trying to pick a wedgie out of his crack without using his hands. That magic underwear ain’t so magical when it’s venturing up uncharted territory. Now I’m most likely one of the whitest people on the face of the Earth. Bill Nye The Science Guy and Powder would both be in awe of my level of cracker. I’ve unknowingly done #Clancying more than I care to admit and my dance moves are equivalent to Walter White Jr. having a Caesar. But this 4-second Nancy gallop right here makes me look like I have a legit shot as the king of the Black Panther Party. The definition of white bread.
Mormon Young Single Adult Conference? Well doesn’t that sound like a certified hoot. Totally makes sense the most overplayed song in the past decade that was hot 2 years ago is the headlining musical feature for 3,500 young adults whose last genitalia they’ve seen that wasn’t their own was their own mother’s after leaving the womb. Shocked they didn’t just do the hokey-pokey for 6 hours.
Now it’s time to take a blog that has absolutely nothing to do about politics and make it into Meet The Press fucks Crossfire. Ready…Go!